Mashpee 5k, Halloween & Going Back To School ..... OH MY!!!!!

Time has flown by, I can't believe Halloween has come and gone, and my baby girl is five months old. I successfully completed the Mashpee Firefighters 5K race to benefit the one, the only, Steve Bold. My "race" time was not much better than when I participated last year when I was about 10 minutes pregnant, but I had a good time, so that's really all I care about. That and I managed not to be scraped off of the pavement by rescue, that's always a bonus. My best friend Sara came with me, and we swapped off pushing the jogging stroller with little miss Mya in it, next time it might be a good idea fir the two asthmatics to being atleast one rescue inhalor ..... After the 5k I went to my parent's to get Michael Jr ready for trick or treating. I was so pumped about his halloween costume that I scored from Plush & Plunder Vintage in Hyannis. I actually spent more on his face paint than the actual costume. Thankfully my mom came trick or treating with us, that would've been interesting to be chasing around a 3 1/2 year old with the double stroller ... up hill both ways ... seriously, have you been in the neighborhood of durfee ln/eli ln ?! Literally uphill both ways. After trick or treating we visited my friend Amy Beth's mom's home on Roberta Jean in East Fal, these people make Halloween their profession for the month of October, no joke. They convert their back yard into the "Haunted Acre Wood", complete with 3-D maze, fog, vortex and creepy dead people jumping out at you.





After a weekend of festivities I spent the last day of my 3 day weekend being productive. I must've blacked out yesterday because somehow I managed to re enroll into Cape Cod Community College (aka the concrete jungle) after a six year hiatus. After speaking to an advisor I found out that I have half of an associates in Criminal Justice completed, 33 more credits and I can be the proud owner of a shiny new associates degree. I wish it didn't take me this long to figure things out, but it has to be done, I'd like to have some sort of degree by the time I'm 30. I'm still trying to balance out finances, work, and child care, so we'll see what happens. Fingers crossed.

Taking Responsibilty For Irresponsiblity

It's no secret that I am horrible with money. I do not know why, but as soon as I receive money I feel the need to spend it, like it's physically impossible for me to hold on to cash. I really don't have a good excuse for my financial predicament. Like many in my generation, I was never really taught financial responsibility, or how to budget. Growing up we were comfortably middle class, my mother stayed home with us, and took my dad's paycheck to pay bills and gave him an allowance. This is because, like me, my father is horrible with money. The one time my father was allowed to do the grocery shopping he spent over $200, came home with 3 different types of oreo's, and when my infuriated mother inquired about coupons my father's response was "what coupons"?. So yeah financial A.D.D. is apparently genetic.


Like many kids, I got every store credit card I could when I turned 18, and a capitol one card, bc they'll give anyone a card, well at least they did 8 years ago. So by the time I was 20 yrs old I had racked up $10,000 worth of credit card debt on everything from victoria's secret, clothes, gas, you name it. With the help of my mom who co signed, I took out a personal loan from Rockland trust and paid off my credit card debt. So at 20 I had a loan payment of almost $300 a month and a brand new car payment along with car insurance. I had a good job as an EMT with overtime from time to time, so I wasn't overly stressed at that point.


I met michael not long after, we became engaged and he moved in with me at my parents house when I was 21. While planning our wedding, I became pregnant with Michael Jr when I was 22, and not only was I scared shitless of my parents, but there physically was no room for the 2 of us and a baby. So we had to move, which costs $$. I was staying a float financially until then, but between moving costs and having to live off of credit cards when I got hurt at work while I was pregnant and could not work, my credit card debt that was once paid off sky rocketed to $15,000. I was so incredibly lucky to have the family support I did because we would've never survived. My mother & uncle would take turns helping with the nearly $400 a month car payment on the gas guzzler blazer and accompanying insurance, and we were always given things for MJ. Maybe that was part of the problem looking back.



So after moving back to the cape, I (once again) got a loan to pay off the new credit card debt. I felt ashamed and defeated. My parents were gracious enough to get a home equity loan in order for me to get the new loan, for I have no assets for colladeral. So then I had 2 loan payments, a truck payment, and insurance. Credit Card debt free for a second time.


But of course, due to my 2 loans and bills, I had no money for anything. I buried my head in the sand, and then like an ass started charging again. I had promised my parents I wouldn't charge again after they had taken out the loan for me. I think that the big problem is that the debt wasn't something tangeble for me, it was surreal. My family had always bailed me out, and I had never ever really had a "want" for something, so I've never (until now) gone without. Growing up I was never taught how to budget, and when I got credit cards in my own name my mother just took money from me and paid the bills. In school they don't teach you how to budget, or how real world expenses work, they teach you (or atleast try to) how to balance a check book. That's it.


Now $32,000 in credit card debt alone I have nothing to show for it. My friends are buying their own homes, have their own apartments, and I have to live with my grandfather bc we cannot afford to live on our own due to my debt. It's embarassing and infuriating bc it took me this long to get a grip. We owe my grandfather almost $800 in utilities, and it kills me. I hate owing money I feel like such an ass. It scares me to know that we are dependant on him right now bc we have no where to go.


I finally buckeled down and stopped crying, and got honest with myself and my husband. I briefy entertained the idea of settling my debt, but after tlaking with a company and doing research, I know that I would not be able to sleep at night and be even more stressed not paying my creditors. Michael had found American Consumer Credit Counseling (http://www.consumercredit.com)which not only sets up a debt management plan with you but teaches you the skills you need for budgeting. I joined the program and the counciler helped me set up a household budget that works for me, and I will send them a set amount every month that they will disperse the payments to the credit cards as agreed. The counciler was able to get my apr's down to almost nothing, in once instance getting my sears MC from 20.40 % down to 2 %. With this debt managment plan I will be debt free in 4 1/2 years or less, with my credit intact. As apposed to the debt settlement where I don't pay the creditors, and while I may be debt free in 3-4 years, I will have ruined my credit and run the risk of being sued, not to mention the collection calls.As part of the agreement I have to cancel my credit cards. It is empowering and terrifying at the same time. My crutch is being taken away from me, cold turkey. I find it disheartening that people are more sympathetic when addressing drug or alcohol addiction as apposed to shopping or credit card addictions, maybe people see shopping as something that is more easily controlled, and when you start to drown in debt often the response is "well its your own damn fault, no one MADE you go shopping". No one made alcoholics pick up the bottle, but they did. I'm not making excuses for my behaviors or addictions, I'm just facing the facts and trying to understand the problem in order to manage it and get my life back.


It breaks my heart to know that my kids miss out on things because of my debt, we couldn't afford MJ's preschool bc of my debt, but now I'm determined to fix this. I also am going to get help, bc I've come to the realization that I am addicted to charging/shopping just like a drug addict is addicted to drugs. When I go shopping, and I go up to the register, its instant buyer's remorse, but at the same time I was getting the euphoric feeling of getting whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, regardless of if I could actually afford it or not. I would just pull things off the shelves, and have a instant sick feeling in the pit of my stomache, I would make up some kind of lie in my head to justify it "Well I already have a balance anyways". Even the physical feeling of swiping the credit card is addicting to me. I come from a line of alcoholic lineage, I briefly had a drinking binge the summer I was 19, but never really became addicted, and I never got into the drug scene. Shopping and charging my credit cards is my drug of choice. I have nothing to show for all my debt. I don't have a closet full of clothes, or a box full of jewlery. I had entered the endless cycle of working to pay the bills, not having enough money for necessities because of the credit card debt, and then bc of that having to use the credit cards in order to put gas in my car. I'm not living like this anymore, I'm not hiding my debt anymore, I'm taking responsiblity and making damn sure I teach my kids what I never learned.

Birthday Wishes

In my EBay adventures I happened across a great organization www.birthdaywishes.org. As a seller you have the ability to donate some or all of your profits to a organization of your choice, and I thought this was a great idea. I was looking specifically for a local group to benefit, and this is when I found Birthday Wishes. Birthday Wishes was founded in Newton,MA in November of 2002 by Lisa Vasiloff, Karen Yahara, and Carol Zwanger when the three women started volunteering at homeless shelters, and noticed that children's birthday's came and went without recognition. Birthday parties, something you & I take for granted and often grumble about having to plan, are a luxury to the homeless shelters and families that live there.


Having taught preschool, worked in after school programs, and run various birthday celebrations in the past, I've always enjoyed ambience of the celebration. It is my opinion that a birthday is part of your identity, and something that should be a staple in your childhood. You never really appreciate something as simple as a birthday cake and a song sung off key until you expierience situations were it doesn't exist. When you emmerse your self in that situation its something that hits you in the gut, and definatly pulls at your heart strings.


My first birthday party was tough, because as I arrived at the transition housing, it honestly looked like a crack motel, and couldn't believe that people, never mind children, lived here. It was one step above being homeless, between the very outdated appliances, the smell, and just over all atmosphere I was saddened to know that people lived like this. Its easy to judge families in that situation. I'll be honest, when I saw a new mom holding a baby my daughters age, in nothing but a jean jacket and diaper on that cold September night, I was pissed and heart broken at the same time. I was pissed because I was thinking to myself "why is the baby out here dressed like that!" and heart broken because I knew that she probably couldn't help her situation and I could never imagine bringing my family up that way, even though she could be you or I in a heart beat.


It really is an amazing feeling to watch these kids get excited over gifts, because they truly appreciated everything given to them. These kids were beside themselves over things like pajama's, back packs and lunch boxes, items some kids would turn their nose up at. For the first birthday party we were able to get a moonwalk donated, and the kids went bats for it. They bounced until it got dark and the mosquitos came out to feed, and came in to the communal kitchen for cake and gifts. The second party I volunteered at was in the Angel House in Hyannis. The Angel House is a shelter that helps reunite families recovering from substance abuse and traumas of homelessness. We were fortuneate to have a DJ donate his services, he played all kinds of games with the kids, provided a bubble machiene and dance instruction.The electric slide was painful for me, hillarious to them. After we were all successfully covered in bubble soap, feasted on my mosquitos and handed out prizes from the limbo contest, we made our way into the main house for the long awaited cake and gifts. After cleaning up the cake plates, spilled capri suns and melted hoodsie cups, one of the birthday boys came up and gave us a hug and a high five. His mom said he had the best day ever. It was totally worth the incessent scratching from bug bites that followed.


All the parents were so grateful, and were great to talk to. Many would probably be hard pressed to talk to these people, as human nature, forming an opinion about their situation. Naturally you want to ask "how did you get here?". I don't think many of them know, nor do I, and a lot of times people in this situation do not know how to help themselves. Thankfully, there are people out there who do, and I feel priveledged help out in something as simple as giving their child a birthday party.

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How To Create The Worst Possible Listing On EBay

After surfing EBay for the first time in months, I've come across some questionable listings, many are well meaning but clueless sellers. I came across this post on EBay and thought it was hillarious (written by seller suityourselfinternational):

HOW TO WRITE THE WORST AUCTION LISTING ON EBAY

1. Confuse the bidders at every opportunity.

2. Decide what you've got to sell. But forget about it when you create your listing.
FOR EXAMPLE, when selling a sweater, forget what color it is and just make up a color instead,
and never remember to include measurements like bust size and length or fabric content for concerned allergic people.

3. Take a photo of your item, but be sure there are lots of other distracting things in the picture too.

4. Post a photo of only part of your item in your listing, so bidders have to bid sight unseen, and even
better yet, post a picture in your listing of something else entirely, out of focus. Like your dog.
OR DON'T USE ANY PHOTOS AT ALL.

5. Make sure the gallery photo you use contains an image that bears no relationship whatsoever to what you're selling.

6. Post your gallery picture so your item is pictured on its side and not upright. Better yet, take your picture
of the item with the item upside down. Even better, hide the item under the sofa and just show the sofa in the picture.
You can point to the hidden item with big yellow arrows.

7. For the auction's title, don't describe the item -- people might find it! Never state what the item it or what size or color it is.
Keep 'em guessing.

8. For the description of your item, tell everybody you're on vacation and don't know when you'll return.
But you'll ship when you get back.

9. OR for the description of your item,
try telling them about your recent eBay purchases instead, or a bit of your life's story; for example, go into
great detail about why you are being forced to sell this wonderful thingy in the first place. BUT NEVER SAY WHAT IT IS THAT YOU'RE
SELLING AND NEVER GIVE AWAY ANY DETAILS ABOUT IT. NEVER POINT OUT FLAWS.

10. DO NOT USE CORRECT ENGLISH SPELLING OR PUNCTUATION. Tell buyers to
SNED NO NEMOY until you bill them.

11. Better yet, forget the item description entirely and just take up two full pages with your Terms Of Sale, family photos,
and ads for other items in your eBay store, not in correct English remember.

12. If you have to say what size something is, be sure to indicate only those measurements for the opposite sex of the item you're selling.
For example, when selling a sweater, women want the chest measurement underarm to underam across the back,
but men want the shoulder seam measurement along the top of the garment.

13. Overcharge outrageously for shipping. Better yet, state PICKUP ONLY with only a Puerto Rico P.O. Box for an address.

14. Run the listing lots of times, add counters every time, and never edit them so bidders can see
you're run the listing for months on end with nobody in the least bit interested in all that time.

15. Add an appendix to your listing, several times---and make sure it has nothing to do with the listing. Adding a CHAIN LETTER
at the bottom of your listing is sure to get buyers (and eBay's) attention.

16. Be sure to use an auction listing service that blocks buyers from successfully clicking on any of the links in your listing.

17. Do NOT accept PayPal. Do NOT accept Money Orders or Checks. Tell buyers you want your money sent to you at your PO BOX address
via the US Postal service in a plain brown wrapper with NO RETURN ADDRESS and inside the envelope,
you want NO information as to what the buyer bought or what the money is for. Keep 'em guessing!

18. If you feel you just have to reply to a customer email inquiry about your item,
be sure to point out to the customer how their question was rude and / or stupid and how wrong they were
to ask it of you and your item in the first place. Tell them you are trying to educate them, not be insulting, and include a little smiley face at the end.

19. If a customer asks you for measurements or some basic fact you forgot to put in, or didn't care about,
just tell them you can't measure, or don't know how to measure, or don't have a tape measure, or are away from your desk (and your item)
and will get back to them whenever you and the item are closer together.

20. TRY TO NEVER EVER REPLY TO CUSTOMER EMAIL INQUIRIES. Someone may actually buy something from you!

21. If somebody does buy from you, DO NOT SEND THEM AN INVOICE. If they pay you anyway, DO NOT RESPOND.
If they write you after 2 or 3 weeks asking for their stuff, reply with a sob story and say you've already shipped it, but just yesterday.
Say you shipped it Friday if they write you over a weekend.

22. When you finally do get around to shipping, DO NOT SHIP THEM WHAT THEY THINK THEY BOUGHT!! Just ship them something
else that you don't want. And remind them there are NO returns and NO exhanges.

Good Luck!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personally I have yet to come across anything truly horrific, but I have seen poor photography skills, or my personal pet peeve, taking only one photo of one big pile of un folded clothes .... seriously. As enticing as that is, I'm going to have to pass on the biding of the contents of your laundry basket. And the selling of underwear. Ick. I don't care if it was "only worn once". There is a line of decency you don't cross. Unless the skiives are in a sealed package don't bother.


I love how some people think that they can reel people in with a collection of clothes from 1992 and sell them at full price. Um no. And don't be sneaky with ridonkulous shipping charges. And is UPS really necessary for a small lot of kids clothes? I personally hate UPS bc they are so damned expensive, unless you're shipping something like furniture or a zoo animal, you don't really need it, they suck.


And for the love of god, don't sell stuff that your kid projectile puked on. I say this bc someone actually sent me a sweater with dried chunky puke on it. Tasty.

Completely and Utterly Deflated

I can't believe this happened to me today and trust me when I say I have NEVER been treated like this in my life. I attempted to make an appointment with my mother's Rhuematolgist the other day in order to be tested for Ehlers Danlose Syndrome, however it is that particular OFFICE's policy to require a referal regardless of your insurance carrier. Fine. So I made an appointment over at my General Practitioner's in order to get the referal. I had seen this particular Dr a few times in the past for refill's so I wasn't a complete stranger to him. He asked what I needed a referal for, and I said Ehlers Danlos. Without even examining me, or looking at my past medical or my family's past medical history he proclaimed I didn't have it. He said because my skin wasn't stretchy and that I've never had a complete dislocation of my joints that I didn't need to be tested. Well ass face if you knew anything about EDS you'd know that there are 6 different types and not all of them have the same markers.

I started to cry.

He says that in relation to my choking episodes and joint pain, and judging from my crying it must be anxiety causing all my problems. No asshole, I'm crying because you just shit on me.

I had hit my breaking point today because I choked AGAIN at work, and kept screwing up at simple tasks because I can't function with out food in my belly. And there's no food in my belly because everytime I eat I either choke, it gets stuck or is proceeded by a volcanic eruption of stomach acid. I had hopes that Dr Asshole would be able to give me the referall I needed but instead was in so many words told that I'm crazy, don't know what I'm talking about, and stop looking at things on the internet. Then he proceeded to give me Lexapro, a fucking psyche med. Then told me he was gonna test me for Lyme's disease. Oh yeah he also asked me if I had OCD, basically said that my Ear Nose & Throat dr didn't know what he was talking about (I had a endoscopy done) and inferred that my husband is lazy (as in if I had more help maybe my joints wouldnt hurt so much).

I'm not some fruit who cruises the internet looking for a disorder to have, or a drug seeker. I don't want meds, I don't want a disease, I just want to be able to fucking eat and function like a normal human being. I'm tired of almost choking to death everytime I eat, I'm tired of not being able to pick up my kids, falling down when I walk, getting stuck getting up out of a chair or out of a car. I'm tired of my joints popping in and out of place multiple times a day.

If I do indeed have Ehlers Danlos it can make a difference in how this whole choking episode is handeled. Medication isn't going to work if I have EDS. And so far the 3 I've tried haven't worked. I have almost all the markers for Classical and Hypermobility EDS, and my mother has 2 disorders related to EDS, and EDS is a inherited disorder with the exception of 1 form.

I've been teaching MJ how to dial 911 in the event mommy needs help due to my choking, and now I'm at the point were I just won't eat when I'm home alone with the kids. I really can't take this any more it's ruining me. I have a barium swallow test scheduled for monday if I don't break down and go to the ER before hand. WTF Seriously.

Barium Swallow Test, EDS, and Other Adventures In GERD

Oh the joys of acid reflux. Previously associated with the feeling of acid shooting up my throat like a volcanic eruption, GERD apparently is the cause of my choking episodes. My ear, nose & throat specialist performed an endoscopy and found my throat burnt and swollen in addition to being structurally small. I've pretty much had a life long problem of these choking fits, and sometimes just having food sit in my throat, with very little to no pain from acid reflux. So I've been going through different medication trials since the endoscopy and have a barium swallow test scheduled. Now in addition to my new found membership of the GERD club I've also had a life long issue with loose joints, subluxations or incomplete dislocations of various joints. Now what does loose joints have to do with GERD.... I came across something called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS) which is a genetic disorder of the collagen.







"Individuals with EDS have a defect in their connective tissue, the tissue that provides support to many body parts such as the skin, muscles and ligaments. The fragile skin and unstable joints found in EDS are the result of faulty collagen. Collagen is a protein, which acts as a "glue" in the body, adding strength and elasticity to connective tissue.

Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) is a heterogeneous group of heritable connective tissue disorders, characterized by articular (joint) hypermobility, skin extensibility and tissue fragility. There are six major types of EDS. The different types of EDS are classified according to their manifestations of signs and symptoms. Each type of EDS is a distinct disorder that "runs true" in a family. This means that an individual with Vascular Type EDS will not have a child with Classical Type EDS.
"

All of my oddities might have a name, which well it really proves to resolve nothing as there is no cure, it is nice to know that there is a reason behind them, everything from my mitral proplapse,GERD, abnormal scar healing, easy bruising, ortho pedic and cardiac problems and poor circulation. I have to get a referral to a rhuematologist in order to get the proper testing for Ehlers Danlos, and if indeed that is the cause to my multiple oddities there may be surgery needed to correct the incompent esophageal sphincter, and special precautions needed for any other surgical procedures.

The moral of the story kids is to be your own advocate. I look forward to not living in fear of eating :)

Maybe Just A "Little" Colic

I'm not sure if it's possible for a baby to be a little colicky, but I'm trying to figure out why it is princess cries everynight around dinner time for atleast an hour. And by "cry" I mean scream unconsolibly complete with bright red face, real tears and clenched fists. We've tried everything to help her from rocking, burping, rubbing her belly, giving her a tub, but nothing helps, she won't even take her binky. The Mayo Clinic defines colic as:

"If your baby cries about the same time each day and nothing you do seems to offer comfort, your baby may have colic. Colic is often defined as crying more than three hours a day, three days a week for more than three weeks in an otherwise well-fed, healthy baby.
Fussing and crying are normal for infants, and a fussy baby doesn't necessarily have colic. In an otherwise healthy, well-fed baby, signs of colic include:

* Predictable crying episodes. A baby who has colic often cries about the same time every day, usually in the late afternoon or evening. Colic episodes may last from a few minutes to three hours or more on any given day. The crying usually begins suddenly and for no clear reason. Your baby may have a bowel movement or pass gas near the end of the colic episode.
* Intense or inconsolable crying. Colic crying is intense and often high pitched. Your baby's face may flush, and he or she is extremely difficult — if not impossible — to comfort.
* Posture changes. Curled up legs, clenched fists and tensed abdominal muscles are common during colic episodes.

Colic affects as many as 25 percent of babies. Colic usually starts a few weeks after birth and often improves by age 3 months. Although a few babies struggle with colic for months longer, colic ends by age 9 months in 90 percent of cases. "

We switched her formula to Similac Sensitive Formula which is lactose free to improve gassiness & fussiness, we use Dr. Brown's bottles which are made to reduce gas as well as use the Mylicon infant gas drops. She just started fussing at night within the past 2 weeks, she hasn't always done this. She started fussing while she was eating after about 4 weeks so thats when we switched formula which has helped a lot. She also doesn't scream for 3 hours at a time, and sleeps really well at night. So I'm really not sure. Princess is a lot needier than MJ was, so maybe that's just the nature of the beast?