Birthday Wishes

In my EBay adventures I happened across a great organization www.birthdaywishes.org. As a seller you have the ability to donate some or all of your profits to a organization of your choice, and I thought this was a great idea. I was looking specifically for a local group to benefit, and this is when I found Birthday Wishes. Birthday Wishes was founded in Newton,MA in November of 2002 by Lisa Vasiloff, Karen Yahara, and Carol Zwanger when the three women started volunteering at homeless shelters, and noticed that children's birthday's came and went without recognition. Birthday parties, something you & I take for granted and often grumble about having to plan, are a luxury to the homeless shelters and families that live there.


Having taught preschool, worked in after school programs, and run various birthday celebrations in the past, I've always enjoyed ambience of the celebration. It is my opinion that a birthday is part of your identity, and something that should be a staple in your childhood. You never really appreciate something as simple as a birthday cake and a song sung off key until you expierience situations were it doesn't exist. When you emmerse your self in that situation its something that hits you in the gut, and definatly pulls at your heart strings.


My first birthday party was tough, because as I arrived at the transition housing, it honestly looked like a crack motel, and couldn't believe that people, never mind children, lived here. It was one step above being homeless, between the very outdated appliances, the smell, and just over all atmosphere I was saddened to know that people lived like this. Its easy to judge families in that situation. I'll be honest, when I saw a new mom holding a baby my daughters age, in nothing but a jean jacket and diaper on that cold September night, I was pissed and heart broken at the same time. I was pissed because I was thinking to myself "why is the baby out here dressed like that!" and heart broken because I knew that she probably couldn't help her situation and I could never imagine bringing my family up that way, even though she could be you or I in a heart beat.


It really is an amazing feeling to watch these kids get excited over gifts, because they truly appreciated everything given to them. These kids were beside themselves over things like pajama's, back packs and lunch boxes, items some kids would turn their nose up at. For the first birthday party we were able to get a moonwalk donated, and the kids went bats for it. They bounced until it got dark and the mosquitos came out to feed, and came in to the communal kitchen for cake and gifts. The second party I volunteered at was in the Angel House in Hyannis. The Angel House is a shelter that helps reunite families recovering from substance abuse and traumas of homelessness. We were fortuneate to have a DJ donate his services, he played all kinds of games with the kids, provided a bubble machiene and dance instruction.The electric slide was painful for me, hillarious to them. After we were all successfully covered in bubble soap, feasted on my mosquitos and handed out prizes from the limbo contest, we made our way into the main house for the long awaited cake and gifts. After cleaning up the cake plates, spilled capri suns and melted hoodsie cups, one of the birthday boys came up and gave us a hug and a high five. His mom said he had the best day ever. It was totally worth the incessent scratching from bug bites that followed.


All the parents were so grateful, and were great to talk to. Many would probably be hard pressed to talk to these people, as human nature, forming an opinion about their situation. Naturally you want to ask "how did you get here?". I don't think many of them know, nor do I, and a lot of times people in this situation do not know how to help themselves. Thankfully, there are people out there who do, and I feel priveledged help out in something as simple as giving their child a birthday party.

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How To Create The Worst Possible Listing On EBay

After surfing EBay for the first time in months, I've come across some questionable listings, many are well meaning but clueless sellers. I came across this post on EBay and thought it was hillarious (written by seller suityourselfinternational):

HOW TO WRITE THE WORST AUCTION LISTING ON EBAY

1. Confuse the bidders at every opportunity.

2. Decide what you've got to sell. But forget about it when you create your listing.
FOR EXAMPLE, when selling a sweater, forget what color it is and just make up a color instead,
and never remember to include measurements like bust size and length or fabric content for concerned allergic people.

3. Take a photo of your item, but be sure there are lots of other distracting things in the picture too.

4. Post a photo of only part of your item in your listing, so bidders have to bid sight unseen, and even
better yet, post a picture in your listing of something else entirely, out of focus. Like your dog.
OR DON'T USE ANY PHOTOS AT ALL.

5. Make sure the gallery photo you use contains an image that bears no relationship whatsoever to what you're selling.

6. Post your gallery picture so your item is pictured on its side and not upright. Better yet, take your picture
of the item with the item upside down. Even better, hide the item under the sofa and just show the sofa in the picture.
You can point to the hidden item with big yellow arrows.

7. For the auction's title, don't describe the item -- people might find it! Never state what the item it or what size or color it is.
Keep 'em guessing.

8. For the description of your item, tell everybody you're on vacation and don't know when you'll return.
But you'll ship when you get back.

9. OR for the description of your item,
try telling them about your recent eBay purchases instead, or a bit of your life's story; for example, go into
great detail about why you are being forced to sell this wonderful thingy in the first place. BUT NEVER SAY WHAT IT IS THAT YOU'RE
SELLING AND NEVER GIVE AWAY ANY DETAILS ABOUT IT. NEVER POINT OUT FLAWS.

10. DO NOT USE CORRECT ENGLISH SPELLING OR PUNCTUATION. Tell buyers to
SNED NO NEMOY until you bill them.

11. Better yet, forget the item description entirely and just take up two full pages with your Terms Of Sale, family photos,
and ads for other items in your eBay store, not in correct English remember.

12. If you have to say what size something is, be sure to indicate only those measurements for the opposite sex of the item you're selling.
For example, when selling a sweater, women want the chest measurement underarm to underam across the back,
but men want the shoulder seam measurement along the top of the garment.

13. Overcharge outrageously for shipping. Better yet, state PICKUP ONLY with only a Puerto Rico P.O. Box for an address.

14. Run the listing lots of times, add counters every time, and never edit them so bidders can see
you're run the listing for months on end with nobody in the least bit interested in all that time.

15. Add an appendix to your listing, several times---and make sure it has nothing to do with the listing. Adding a CHAIN LETTER
at the bottom of your listing is sure to get buyers (and eBay's) attention.

16. Be sure to use an auction listing service that blocks buyers from successfully clicking on any of the links in your listing.

17. Do NOT accept PayPal. Do NOT accept Money Orders or Checks. Tell buyers you want your money sent to you at your PO BOX address
via the US Postal service in a plain brown wrapper with NO RETURN ADDRESS and inside the envelope,
you want NO information as to what the buyer bought or what the money is for. Keep 'em guessing!

18. If you feel you just have to reply to a customer email inquiry about your item,
be sure to point out to the customer how their question was rude and / or stupid and how wrong they were
to ask it of you and your item in the first place. Tell them you are trying to educate them, not be insulting, and include a little smiley face at the end.

19. If a customer asks you for measurements or some basic fact you forgot to put in, or didn't care about,
just tell them you can't measure, or don't know how to measure, or don't have a tape measure, or are away from your desk (and your item)
and will get back to them whenever you and the item are closer together.

20. TRY TO NEVER EVER REPLY TO CUSTOMER EMAIL INQUIRIES. Someone may actually buy something from you!

21. If somebody does buy from you, DO NOT SEND THEM AN INVOICE. If they pay you anyway, DO NOT RESPOND.
If they write you after 2 or 3 weeks asking for their stuff, reply with a sob story and say you've already shipped it, but just yesterday.
Say you shipped it Friday if they write you over a weekend.

22. When you finally do get around to shipping, DO NOT SHIP THEM WHAT THEY THINK THEY BOUGHT!! Just ship them something
else that you don't want. And remind them there are NO returns and NO exhanges.

Good Luck!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personally I have yet to come across anything truly horrific, but I have seen poor photography skills, or my personal pet peeve, taking only one photo of one big pile of un folded clothes .... seriously. As enticing as that is, I'm going to have to pass on the biding of the contents of your laundry basket. And the selling of underwear. Ick. I don't care if it was "only worn once". There is a line of decency you don't cross. Unless the skiives are in a sealed package don't bother.


I love how some people think that they can reel people in with a collection of clothes from 1992 and sell them at full price. Um no. And don't be sneaky with ridonkulous shipping charges. And is UPS really necessary for a small lot of kids clothes? I personally hate UPS bc they are so damned expensive, unless you're shipping something like furniture or a zoo animal, you don't really need it, they suck.


And for the love of god, don't sell stuff that your kid projectile puked on. I say this bc someone actually sent me a sweater with dried chunky puke on it. Tasty.

Completely and Utterly Deflated

I can't believe this happened to me today and trust me when I say I have NEVER been treated like this in my life. I attempted to make an appointment with my mother's Rhuematolgist the other day in order to be tested for Ehlers Danlose Syndrome, however it is that particular OFFICE's policy to require a referal regardless of your insurance carrier. Fine. So I made an appointment over at my General Practitioner's in order to get the referal. I had seen this particular Dr a few times in the past for refill's so I wasn't a complete stranger to him. He asked what I needed a referal for, and I said Ehlers Danlos. Without even examining me, or looking at my past medical or my family's past medical history he proclaimed I didn't have it. He said because my skin wasn't stretchy and that I've never had a complete dislocation of my joints that I didn't need to be tested. Well ass face if you knew anything about EDS you'd know that there are 6 different types and not all of them have the same markers.

I started to cry.

He says that in relation to my choking episodes and joint pain, and judging from my crying it must be anxiety causing all my problems. No asshole, I'm crying because you just shit on me.

I had hit my breaking point today because I choked AGAIN at work, and kept screwing up at simple tasks because I can't function with out food in my belly. And there's no food in my belly because everytime I eat I either choke, it gets stuck or is proceeded by a volcanic eruption of stomach acid. I had hopes that Dr Asshole would be able to give me the referall I needed but instead was in so many words told that I'm crazy, don't know what I'm talking about, and stop looking at things on the internet. Then he proceeded to give me Lexapro, a fucking psyche med. Then told me he was gonna test me for Lyme's disease. Oh yeah he also asked me if I had OCD, basically said that my Ear Nose & Throat dr didn't know what he was talking about (I had a endoscopy done) and inferred that my husband is lazy (as in if I had more help maybe my joints wouldnt hurt so much).

I'm not some fruit who cruises the internet looking for a disorder to have, or a drug seeker. I don't want meds, I don't want a disease, I just want to be able to fucking eat and function like a normal human being. I'm tired of almost choking to death everytime I eat, I'm tired of not being able to pick up my kids, falling down when I walk, getting stuck getting up out of a chair or out of a car. I'm tired of my joints popping in and out of place multiple times a day.

If I do indeed have Ehlers Danlos it can make a difference in how this whole choking episode is handeled. Medication isn't going to work if I have EDS. And so far the 3 I've tried haven't worked. I have almost all the markers for Classical and Hypermobility EDS, and my mother has 2 disorders related to EDS, and EDS is a inherited disorder with the exception of 1 form.

I've been teaching MJ how to dial 911 in the event mommy needs help due to my choking, and now I'm at the point were I just won't eat when I'm home alone with the kids. I really can't take this any more it's ruining me. I have a barium swallow test scheduled for monday if I don't break down and go to the ER before hand. WTF Seriously.

Barium Swallow Test, EDS, and Other Adventures In GERD

Oh the joys of acid reflux. Previously associated with the feeling of acid shooting up my throat like a volcanic eruption, GERD apparently is the cause of my choking episodes. My ear, nose & throat specialist performed an endoscopy and found my throat burnt and swollen in addition to being structurally small. I've pretty much had a life long problem of these choking fits, and sometimes just having food sit in my throat, with very little to no pain from acid reflux. So I've been going through different medication trials since the endoscopy and have a barium swallow test scheduled. Now in addition to my new found membership of the GERD club I've also had a life long issue with loose joints, subluxations or incomplete dislocations of various joints. Now what does loose joints have to do with GERD.... I came across something called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS) which is a genetic disorder of the collagen.







"Individuals with EDS have a defect in their connective tissue, the tissue that provides support to many body parts such as the skin, muscles and ligaments. The fragile skin and unstable joints found in EDS are the result of faulty collagen. Collagen is a protein, which acts as a "glue" in the body, adding strength and elasticity to connective tissue.

Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) is a heterogeneous group of heritable connective tissue disorders, characterized by articular (joint) hypermobility, skin extensibility and tissue fragility. There are six major types of EDS. The different types of EDS are classified according to their manifestations of signs and symptoms. Each type of EDS is a distinct disorder that "runs true" in a family. This means that an individual with Vascular Type EDS will not have a child with Classical Type EDS.
"

All of my oddities might have a name, which well it really proves to resolve nothing as there is no cure, it is nice to know that there is a reason behind them, everything from my mitral proplapse,GERD, abnormal scar healing, easy bruising, ortho pedic and cardiac problems and poor circulation. I have to get a referral to a rhuematologist in order to get the proper testing for Ehlers Danlos, and if indeed that is the cause to my multiple oddities there may be surgery needed to correct the incompent esophageal sphincter, and special precautions needed for any other surgical procedures.

The moral of the story kids is to be your own advocate. I look forward to not living in fear of eating :)

Maybe Just A "Little" Colic

I'm not sure if it's possible for a baby to be a little colicky, but I'm trying to figure out why it is princess cries everynight around dinner time for atleast an hour. And by "cry" I mean scream unconsolibly complete with bright red face, real tears and clenched fists. We've tried everything to help her from rocking, burping, rubbing her belly, giving her a tub, but nothing helps, she won't even take her binky. The Mayo Clinic defines colic as:

"If your baby cries about the same time each day and nothing you do seems to offer comfort, your baby may have colic. Colic is often defined as crying more than three hours a day, three days a week for more than three weeks in an otherwise well-fed, healthy baby.
Fussing and crying are normal for infants, and a fussy baby doesn't necessarily have colic. In an otherwise healthy, well-fed baby, signs of colic include:

* Predictable crying episodes. A baby who has colic often cries about the same time every day, usually in the late afternoon or evening. Colic episodes may last from a few minutes to three hours or more on any given day. The crying usually begins suddenly and for no clear reason. Your baby may have a bowel movement or pass gas near the end of the colic episode.
* Intense or inconsolable crying. Colic crying is intense and often high pitched. Your baby's face may flush, and he or she is extremely difficult — if not impossible — to comfort.
* Posture changes. Curled up legs, clenched fists and tensed abdominal muscles are common during colic episodes.

Colic affects as many as 25 percent of babies. Colic usually starts a few weeks after birth and often improves by age 3 months. Although a few babies struggle with colic for months longer, colic ends by age 9 months in 90 percent of cases. "

We switched her formula to Similac Sensitive Formula which is lactose free to improve gassiness & fussiness, we use Dr. Brown's bottles which are made to reduce gas as well as use the Mylicon infant gas drops. She just started fussing at night within the past 2 weeks, she hasn't always done this. She started fussing while she was eating after about 4 weeks so thats when we switched formula which has helped a lot. She also doesn't scream for 3 hours at a time, and sleeps really well at night. So I'm really not sure. Princess is a lot needier than MJ was, so maybe that's just the nature of the beast?

Tuck & Roll

Long time no talky I know. As most of you are aware my absence is due to little miss Mya Renee pulling a fast one and arriving a week early, which is all fine and good with me because I literally felt like I was going to explode. I worked my last full shift saturday May 30th, fully expecting to work until June 4th, but Mya had decided different. I had an hour of contractions on Sunday May 31st, then they came to a hault, which was about par for the course. The next day monday the 1st princess decided to tuck & roll since my labour was under 10 hours start to finish, which is much better than the 17 1/2 I was in labour for with little man. I had a great VBAC expierience at Jordan, my nurse Glenda was the equivalant to Nurse Ratchet, which was fine with me, she was hilarious though. Completely no nonsense, had her scrubs hiked up to her chest and had been a nurse since the creation of time, no fluff, she told me how it was and yes, "it does suck". She literally was in the room the whole time with the exeception of her going to have a quick dinner, and gave instructions to Michael and Sara. This was a far cry from my 1st expierience where they just left you to suffer alone for hours and never told you what was going on. Baby girl is great, she had some usual newborn stuff like baby acne, thrush and blocked tear ducts, but that has cleared up. Little Michael is getting use to his new baby sister, and tries to feed her his corn puffs in the morning .... atleast he's trying to share .... The sleep thing, or there lack of kinda sucks, especially when little man decides at 2am that he "can't sleep", but I have a lot of help, and Michael is a awesome husband and daddy and gives me a lot of breaks so I can take a nap and what not. It's a whole new world getting use to having 2 kids, one was so much easier, but I suppose it'll get easier once she starts sleeping through the night. Now if I can get through the terrible 3's with little man .... I swear to god if I hear the word "no" or the phrase "I don't want to" one more time .... *sighs*

Surviving Memorial Day Weekend

Even though this past Memorial Day weekend was full of false labor and iffy weather, we managed to make the best of it. Thursday I left work early with what I was sure was a sign little miss Mya was on her way, but it was just the beginning of her taunting me for the weekend, which seems to be the on going theme for the remainder of the pregnancy. Friday my sister in law and her boyfriend came by for a cook out, and we busted out the slip n slide, which turned into little man collecting the water in a bucket and dumping it on everyone as well as running around giving everyone cold, wet hugs. Saturday and sunday we managed to squeeze in some bike path & playground time before the weather went south. Monday was the best day out of the weekend, my 38 week marker :-) We woke up bright and early to get ready to go to down town Falmouth to watch the parade and play at the Mullen Hall playground. The turn out for the parade wasn't as big last year, and the sudden heat wave had people dropping like flies, literally. It's always nice to see my parents in the parade with the Brian Boru Pipe Band, but I think this may have been their last, if not one of the last appearances they'll be making. My mom is going to have to give up drumming bc of carpal tunnel & rhumatoid arthritis. Sheldon's side bag piping job is really taking off, and apparently the attendance and practice habits of other band members has been lack luster which is really frustrating for someone like my dad who puts everything into it. Post parade we made more time for slip & slide of course, I think one of the best parts of being a parent is being able to play again. Even though for me it was less slipping & sliding and more waddling and sitting in cold hose water ... hehehehe.


After freezing my round self I went out for iced coffee and gelato with one of my best girlfriends, and gossiped the afternoon away. Upon returning to her house around 4:30 her "little" brother Joe was in the kitchen with his girl "she's just a friend" and their parents making things for the grill. Now Joe will be 14 this August, but to me he'll always be 3, I remember when he was born, BEFORE he was born even. There's 12 years difference between my friend and her brother, as her mom had thought she was going through early menopause when she became pregnant with Joe. I was even there at their dinner table when she announced she was pregnant with him. Anyways, everytime I see little Joe I feel older and older, he has the teen aged swagger, and the teen aged not quite a man but not a little boy voice, he even has a teen gweedo 'stache ... ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I'm told he's on his 2nd girlfriend. I was talking to my friend outside, and we were all "Do you remember what WE were doing when we were 14?!" OH.MY.GOD. ew ew ew ew ew. And thus the cycle of life continues. And I feel old.