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In case anyone has noticed, and was wondering why I haven't been my smart mouthed self in a while, I figured I'd offer an explanation. For whatever reason, and I'm guessing it has to do with some kind of hormonal/chemical change from having Mya, my body's been basically falling apart. I have literally no memory, I'm irritable, depressed, anxious, paranoid, my hair is falling out, and I'm spacing out. Mya's almost 6 months now, and it's a little late for the onset of post par tum depression. I'm getting my thyroid check (I have almost all of the symptoms of hypothyroidism), and I'm waiting to get a appointment with a neurologist to get tested for absence/petit mal seizures. About 2 weeks ago apparently I drove to walmart to meet Michael and he said that I apparently "spaced out" when he was trying to talk to me, I looked right through him and was completely confused. I don't even remember driving there or how I got home. That's probably not good. I'll be talking mid sentence and just stop and stare off for a few seconds, and not remember doing it. Sometimes I get confused after, sometimes not. My choking episodes are also much worse. I've been choking more frequently, sometimes on a daily basis, which is followed by an overproduction of mucus, which makes it even harder to swallow. My grandmother is on medication for hypothyroid, and she has trouble swallowing as well, and apparently hypothyroidism can be triggered by pregnancy bc for whatever reason your body's immune system starts attacking your thyroid. My mother also has lupus which is an autoimmune disorder, and had epilepsy, so there is a strong probability that I may have either or possibly both. I would love just to figure out what the hell is going on and stop playing the guessing game. I've been teaching MJ how to dial 9-1-1 because mommy chokes all the time, sometimes I won't even eat if I'm alone with the kids because I'm afraid of choking. The gastroenterologist thought that this choking was a form of allergic esophagitis, and prescribed an maintenance inhaler which has done nothing. So if I seem "off" at work or have the mental capacity of Paula Abdul, that would be why.