Completely and Utterly Deflated

I can't believe this happened to me today and trust me when I say I have NEVER been treated like this in my life. I attempted to make an appointment with my mother's Rhuematolgist the other day in order to be tested for Ehlers Danlose Syndrome, however it is that particular OFFICE's policy to require a referal regardless of your insurance carrier. Fine. So I made an appointment over at my General Practitioner's in order to get the referal. I had seen this particular Dr a few times in the past for refill's so I wasn't a complete stranger to him. He asked what I needed a referal for, and I said Ehlers Danlos. Without even examining me, or looking at my past medical or my family's past medical history he proclaimed I didn't have it. He said because my skin wasn't stretchy and that I've never had a complete dislocation of my joints that I didn't need to be tested. Well ass face if you knew anything about EDS you'd know that there are 6 different types and not all of them have the same markers.

I started to cry.

He says that in relation to my choking episodes and joint pain, and judging from my crying it must be anxiety causing all my problems. No asshole, I'm crying because you just shit on me.

I had hit my breaking point today because I choked AGAIN at work, and kept screwing up at simple tasks because I can't function with out food in my belly. And there's no food in my belly because everytime I eat I either choke, it gets stuck or is proceeded by a volcanic eruption of stomach acid. I had hopes that Dr Asshole would be able to give me the referall I needed but instead was in so many words told that I'm crazy, don't know what I'm talking about, and stop looking at things on the internet. Then he proceeded to give me Lexapro, a fucking psyche med. Then told me he was gonna test me for Lyme's disease. Oh yeah he also asked me if I had OCD, basically said that my Ear Nose & Throat dr didn't know what he was talking about (I had a endoscopy done) and inferred that my husband is lazy (as in if I had more help maybe my joints wouldnt hurt so much).

I'm not some fruit who cruises the internet looking for a disorder to have, or a drug seeker. I don't want meds, I don't want a disease, I just want to be able to fucking eat and function like a normal human being. I'm tired of almost choking to death everytime I eat, I'm tired of not being able to pick up my kids, falling down when I walk, getting stuck getting up out of a chair or out of a car. I'm tired of my joints popping in and out of place multiple times a day.

If I do indeed have Ehlers Danlos it can make a difference in how this whole choking episode is handeled. Medication isn't going to work if I have EDS. And so far the 3 I've tried haven't worked. I have almost all the markers for Classical and Hypermobility EDS, and my mother has 2 disorders related to EDS, and EDS is a inherited disorder with the exception of 1 form.

I've been teaching MJ how to dial 911 in the event mommy needs help due to my choking, and now I'm at the point were I just won't eat when I'm home alone with the kids. I really can't take this any more it's ruining me. I have a barium swallow test scheduled for monday if I don't break down and go to the ER before hand. WTF Seriously.