Don't Call Me Ma'am!

Merry Christmas 2010

2010-11-24T15:20:00.001-08:00

Peppermint Bliss Christmas Card

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Mr & Mrs Anderson

2010-09-05T16:01:00.000-07:00

Mr & Mrs Anderson 09/04/10 - slideshow maker with music

We were all on edge during "Earl"'s travels, but thankfully he turned out to be all huff and no puff and Carin & DJ's wedding went on hurricane free. Aside from the photographer's purse being stolen at the church, men's warehouse screwing up the entire wedding party's tux rental and a flower girl meltdown, the wedding proceeded without a hitch. Thankfully thanks to some good neighbors, an astute limo driver, and an all points bulletin, the thief was arrested and the photographer got her belongings back. I'm not sure if the photographer was able to get any photos of MJ in his tux however, due to the fact he was unbearable uncomfortable from all the safety pins and paperclips holding it together (mens wearhouse at its best folks). Mommy was able to sneak a few though, and after changing into his "ring security" outfit, he was good to go. All in all, a good night, complete with uncomfortable drunken relative moments.

Falling To Pieces

2010-08-31T08:24:00.000-07:00

Being the smart mouth, tough "softy", little person with a big mouth and quick come back was always natural to me. I've always felt like I had to hold it together, even when I was falling apart, because I felt it was my civic duty as a child, to make sure my parents didn't worry about me. I'm of the opinion, if you're going to do something, do it right or don't do it at all. So of course, I start life as a walking natural disaster. I started the chain of one of many surgeries when I was 18 months old. I was born with a congenital heart defect where my Aorta was crushing my trachea AKA innominate artery , which in turn would cause me to code at the drop of a hat, and was further compounded by yet another birth defect in the structure of the bronchus in my right lung AKA the breathing tubes AKA pig bronchus,not the cute kind of pig either which only allows me to receive 60% lung function on my right side. So, in layman's terms : Heart defect that squishes air tube + existing non operable lung defect = Very sick baby, almost dead baby. By some miracle of God the Dr's at Mass General Hospital in Boston figured out what the malfunction was and fixed the offending defect in July of 1985. My parents say there after it was like day and night. Well, more or less.

I continued my adolesence through a perverbial revolving door at the Operating Room, almost like a comedy of errors. It might not have been funny at the time, but seriously, who gets a joint replacement in middle school because you got struck with a softball. Me, that's who. I almost died that time too. Like I said, if you're going to do something, do it right, or go full out. I got diagnosed at 17 with endometriosis, after OBGYN shopping for severe pelvic pain and periods from hell, I finally had a doctor (at least temporarily) who would listen to me. No asshole, I wasn't trying to get pain meds, I want you to end the pain, I don't want any god damned pills, I want you to find out why I turn into Sybil and bleed for 3 weeks every month - thank you very much.
By the time I graduated High School at 18, I had 18 surgeries - one for every year I was alive. It's really comforting to hear "what are you having done THIS time" from your friends, awesome. It's also a good ego booster to have to be medically excused from gym class and any team sports because it might, literally, kill you. It does wonders for your social status too, incase you were wondering, but thankfully I wasn't alone in social pergatory in High School. The art room was way more fun than lacrosse anyways.

The following years were a series of inexplicable medical mishaps and mysteries, Pancreatitis twice, Endometriosis surgery (again), Sinus surgery (for the 3rd time), diagnosis of a Mitral Valve Prolapse, mis adventures through the wonderous land of birth control (note to self, Ortho Evera Patch = Bad, very Bad), Cervical Dysplaysia and two perfect pregnancy's (take that Endometriosis!)and with a brief reprieve, I am back at square 1, whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. I fell like a big bag of shit, between my right clavicle that is incased in arthiritis (WHO gets that at my age?!? honestly)and impinging my rotator cuff and all the nerves, and my endometriosis that is sucking my will to live (because its completely normal to bleed straight out for 4 months and pass out from the sharp pains), I'm spent. Oh and let's not forget the daily choking episodes that have made it all but impossible to eat with out anxiety and 9-1-1 on speed dial. Fear not, I have my first of the two procedures tomorrow to help decide whether it is Lupus, eosinophilic esophagitis, or severe GERD that is causing all of the swallowing difficulties. Hooray!!! What's more liberating than having a scope down your nostril while you're awake .....

I do not faulter though, I'm not allowed to. Having to drag my sorry ass into work aside, I'm a wife and a mother, oh and I don't want to worry my parents (they've had their fill over the past 27 years). I grew up with a sick mom, a very sick one at that. It fucking sucks. I don't want to do that to my kids or my husband, I don't want to be the emotional burden that makes them worry if I'm going to make it this time. That's not an option. The one thing I've gained though my life experience (besides a collection of some pretty impressive scars,intolerance to most codeine based medications and a nifty allergy to latex)is strength that I didn't know I was capable of. It's amazing what you can go through when the only option you have IS to be strong.

Mullet Free Since 83'

2010-08-27T06:07:00.000-07:00

Ever walk into a salon or respective barber shop and just get a feeling of " this is probably a bad idea". Wedsneday was one of those times. I had been looking around the local salons for a place that looked to be half decent and not too expensive. I thought wrong. I for whatever reason decided on the salon by walmart, which was formally "Lords and Lady's", which I had gone to in the past and had a decent experience with. Not so much this time. I am , in case you hadn't noticed, kinda OCD. Once I find something that irks me I fixate on it and obscess, its one of many redeeming qualities I possess. Anyways, I walk in a and immediately noticed:
1)the furniture didn't match
2)5 out of 6 of the stylists had on acid washed high waisted jeans and/or a mullet, or femlet respectively
3)my stylists name was "Arlene" ... I know that you can't help what your parents decided to name you, but at some point when you become of legal age you'd think you'd want to change it to something that doesn't automatically conjure up the dueling banjos.

I sit in the chair and show her what I had in mind, I wanted a darker dirty blonde/light brown (with golden undertones) and heavy blonde highlights in the front, and a trim of the dead ends since I've been growing out my hair for the past two years from the aysemetrical Victoria Beckham bob I had a couple of summers ago. So what do I get. Brassy washed out blonde with highlights on top, and ashy muddy greenish/brown underneath. And as far as the "trim", in my past 20 years expirience a trim meant breaking out the scissors, and trimming off the dead ends. This "Stylist" proceeded to whip out her razor (I'm surprised she didn't see my look of horror on my face), and razor the ever loving shit out of my hair. I have very fine baby hair, YOU DON'T FUCKING RAZOR IT EVER. It looked like a six year old cut my hair, she took off a good 2 inches, and the front was cut straight across like a bob, then it was long in the back. HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS LADY IS REALLY GOING TO GIVE ME A MULLET RIGHT NOW. At first it looked okay, not exactly what I wanted, but I hadn't notice the extensive WTF until I was at the gym , which then prompted me to exit immediatly to the parkinglot. I was pissed. It wasn't cheap this butchering of my hair, it was around $135 after tip, and my hair looked like I used box color from the sale bin at CVS and used a "suck cut" ... "well it certainly does suck".

Thank god for Hotlocks in North Falmouth. I called the salon and explained the massacre that had occured , and they were super nice. They had me come right in, acess the damage, discuss what needed to be done to correct it, and the stylist even trimmed my hair and softened the edges so it didn't resemble the Tina Turner wig from the late 80's. The reconstruction project of my dome piece isn't even that bad, it'll probably be around what I paid in the first place to get my hair done. I should've gone there in the first damn place. Moral of the story: always trust your instincts, if it feels wrong, its a no go. Especially when they break out the razors *shudders*

Building Bridges

2010-08-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

This summer has been crazy busy , not just work wise, but life in general. We've spent a lot of time with my brother and sister in law after rebuilding a relationship following a massive blow out, which turns out if people just took a minute to actually ask what the problem was instead of making assumptions, wouldn't have happened in the first place. Husband has started working on the relationship with his father and that side of the family, and clearing the air on things that have bothered him for years. He's also come to realize that some relationships are not necessarily healthy, and is learning to take some things for face value. It's hard to come to the conclusion that the people you grew up with aren't who they appear, and when they start creating a stressful enviornment for everyone around them, it's time to cut the cord and do whats best for you. I'm getting to know in laws that I wish I had the chance to years ago, and gaining the strength to ignore the hurtful and toxic behaviors from others. The funny thing about the whole thing is that I, who grew up in a house hold where you did not discuss your problems or emotions, was the one who orchastrated the whole chat session to address the issues. I felt like it was right in my heart, and faced my fears head on, you never know how strong you really are until you are faced with a problem you have no other choice than to solve.

Growing up in a emotionally handicapped atmosphere has also led me to be weary of trusting people, and I have something of an emotional block, the size of the great wall of china. The only person who has ever been able to break it is my husband and a few select friends that I've had since kindergarden. I'm just always ready for the next blow, and I figured that if I don't let that person in emotionally, when they screw me over it won't hurt as bad. It has been effective thus far, but it also slows any healing process to a complete halt. After starting to reconcile with my sister in law following a massive blow out, I acknowledged that I am a difficult person to get to know and that I was willing to work on that. She admitted and owned the wrong doing on her part, so I have to be able to acknowledge my faults in order to make any progress. No one said that being a grown up would be fun or easy, hell all I cared about in high school was having my own car and no curfew. I have both now and its not really all that special. I guess, what I've learned is that 99.999999 % of all these problems we've had is from a complete lack of communication. If we just sat down and discussed what was going on and bothering us instead of assuming, these big blow outs wouldn't have happened in the first place.

Miss Cape & Islands Contest 2010

2010-08-06T09:28:00.000-07:00

So I conquered my fear and kicked my anxiety of being in front of a big group of people by participating in the "Miss Cape & Islands" contest held at The Sand Dollar Bar & Grill in Dennisport. I had to say I was expecting pageant hell with catty bitches, but I was pleasantly surprised. All the girls were really awesome and I had a fabulous time! Free drinks also helped :) I had an amazing time going out there and talking to people, getting the crowd pumped, I never thought I would do that. I was however dissapointed that all the girls that won were employees of that bar or associated bars, and the judges owned that bar or neighboring buisnesses. To me that falls under 'conflict of interest', bad policy. So in my quest to awesomeness I will try again at the competition being held at The Cabby Shack in Plymouth on wedsneday the 12th.

Auto Pilot

2010-07-30T08:35:00.000-07:00

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength"
~Author Unknown

I'll give you the cliff notes on my upheaval thus far : We go on vacation to NH from July 18th - July 21st. Grampa has back surgery on the 19th, we're told he'll be admitted and then go to rehab. Come home on the 21st to find grampa in his recliner in the living room. WTF. Thursday the 22nd, I'm home by myself with the kids and my grampa is in excrutiating pain. Call rescue to have grampa re admitted to CCH, he's there for 3 days does great, goes to Harborside in Mashpee for rehab on sunday the 25th. I visit him monday after my MRI and he looks fabulous, acting like him self.

Tuesday the 27th, busy ass work day from hell, thank god for my partner :)Husband is blowing up my phone, I can't talk bc of the insanity in dispatch. All I catch is "There's going to be a massive blow out between me and ****". **** is the leaching cousin from NH who treats our house like a motel and brings her ankle biting dog and leaves it for other people to tend to while she takes care of her own agenda. Anyways, she had been at the house all week while grampa was in the hospital, and Michael and the kids went to the store for 45 minutes and came back to find the dog locked down stairs, where it doesn't belong, in our living space.

Apparently the first time Michael attempted to address this with **** she was on the phone (which he didn't realize at the time ) she waved him off, Michael went down stairs to keep his head from exploading. After a few minutes he goes back up stairs to get the rest of the groceries from the car, where he is met by **** at the top of the stairs. She then proceeds to get in his face, pointing her finger in his face yelling at him, and making many accusations, the most hurtful and inaccurate of all, that we don't help my grandfather. This obviously angers Michael and he then yells back and made a comment about he better not find that dog in our living area again, blah blah blah.

Well apparently **** took it upon her self to call the police, and I had (thankfully) called my father after Michael's call to me, and the situation was a whole to do about nothing. But I was mortified that the police were called on my husband for a supposed threat. In the 7 years we've been together he's never even raised his voice to me. This woman is a complete Dr.Jekyl and Mr.Hyde, she'll be nice when people are around, but as soon as they leave she's completely rude and disrespectful to us, she manipulates people to get what she wants and was bullshit bc Michael called her bluff.

Our unwanted guest left that same night, thank god. Wednesday my brother and I go to visit grampa at the rehab, and he looks to be doing great. We discuss what happened, and I'm not sure if he couldn't really hear or understand me even though he appeared to, and then we discussed the possibility of us (Michael, the kids and myself) moving out. My grandfather seemed on board with this, saying he needed to down size, the house needs a lot of work that he can't afford or do himself. Mj starting preschool in the fall, and especially after the incident with our unwanted guest, we just really felt it was time we left. We had what I thought was a very productive 45 minute conversation, and I thought we were on the same page.

The next day Thursday the 29th, my father visits him to bring him up to speed on us leaving and the situation with the unwanted guest. Apparently my grandfather either totally forgot or did not understand our conversation the day before, bc he got all teary eyed and was insistant that we didn't leave, and that this unwanted guest would be banned from his property. I visited with the kids shortly after my dad left, and he was having an episode of shortness of breathe, chest pressure and feeling cold. The rescue was called and he was admitted into falmouth hospital, where he's been since bc they're still trying to figure out whats going on. There was no sign of any new infarction with the exception of some elevated enzymes, but its extremely difficult to tell with him bc he's had a quadruple bypass, a pace maker, tri gemini PVC's and CHF. On top of that now he's having difficulty swallowing, which is a new development.

So now we're trying to go through our stuff, pack and deal with all this crap. On top of all the stuff going on with my grandfather, I'm going for a repeat MRI on my shoulder to figure out whats going on with it, bc once through the tomb wasn't enough fun for me apparently. And I just had bloodwork, ultrasound, biopsy and removal of my IUD to figure out whats malfunctioning in my uterus and making me hate life. I have a exploratory laseroscopy and D&C to look forward to also. Awesome. So I'm on auto pilot right now, and if I don't seem like my self, that would be why, don't take it personally my friends.

Am I An Imposter?

2010-07-11T16:49:00.000-07:00

Today was my first attempt to get back in church on sunday mornings, my old work schedule was not condusive to my church going efforts. Now my more church friendly sunday schedule has afforded me the opportunity to get back into the swing of things. So I had hoped. I think that I probably was setting myself up for disaster bringing both kids with me, by myself, since husband won't get home from work in time to attend. So after emailing my pastor back and forth after she had checked in with me over a week ago, I had looked forward to seeing her. So as the children and I took our seat I looked around and craned my neck to see Pastor Nicole, but I hadn't seen or heard her. Then service began, and there was a Pastoral Intern, apparently Pastor Nicole had accompanied her husband ,who is also a pastor, to Nantucket where he was a guest speaker. Between Pastor Nicole's absence and my wild beasts poor behavior I felt completely deflated. The Pastoral Intern did nothing to invoke my religious spirit, she did the complete opposite. I could barely hear her and I was in the third row from the front. Her gestures were without conviction , or atleast not what I had become accustomed to with Pastor Nicole. We had recieved a letter in the mail from her about a month or so ago, letting us know that she would be stepping down at the end of September to move across country with her husband, as he was afforded the opportunity to be a minister out in California, where she was originally from.

While I wish nothing but the best for Pastor Nicole and her husband, I feel like I've somehow disconnected myself from the church I had just joined. I know it's not supposed to be about the Pastor , but about the church and the community, but I just feel like that Pastor Nicole really was the spark that had made me want to be part of the church in the first place. I feel that with her leadership and encouragement I have grown not only in the spiritual aspect, but the emotional aspect as well. I spoke with her about family conflicts and worked through them as a result, something that I don't think I would be able to accomplish with out her encouragement.

I kind of had a feeling that change was in the air when husband and I, along with a few other folks, attended a church meeting to welcome new members. Someone had posed the question of the event that she were to leave, and her response was that we should feel compelled to join the church regardless of who the pastor is. I know that I should enjoy the time we have left with Pastor Nicole, and be grateful for all that she has done, and we are. I guess after the church service disaster this morning, I felt like an imposter bc I really had no interest in the service or want to be there, I guess I felt let down. I don't know who will be taking over as Pastor, there is no replacing Pastor Nicole, but hopefully there will be someone who can carry on the duties with the same passion as she.

Deciding Between Waging Battle or Throwing Up The White Flag

2010-06-28T11:29:00.000-07:00

I'm going to try and be as discreet as possible, as there is a chance some male readers might dry heave, so I'll try and be considerate of you male folks. As some of you are aware I've been waging battle against my uterus, aka my "incubator", it's been an ongoing battle since I was diagnosed with Endometriosis at 17. Since I had baby princess last year its been considerably worse, and in the last three months it went from misery to hell on earth. I am at the point were I am physically and mentally drained, on top of all the other wonderful symptoms of naseua, migraines, weepiness, agonizing abdominal pain, blood clots (sorry), loss of appetite, weight loss, and oh yeah I've been bleeding since May 24th. AWESOME.

I've gone through pretty much every birth control ever created when I was in high school, and they made me fat and crazy. I was on depo shot for two years, which was awesome, but apparently not good for my bones. Then I was on the patch, which almost killed me when it sent me into an unresponsive hypotensive crisis , apparently having a blood pressure of 73/40 is not condusive to being alert and oriented. I tried mirena, the IUD that has low dose hormones, it worked for about a year and then I started bleeding all the time. That came out and baby princess came along. After her I opted for the copper IUD (paragaurd), which was fine, it didn't help my endometriosis symptoms, but it was effective birth control. Then my uterus decided it was going to bring on an epic battle and make me leak like a god damned BP oil well..... sorry ....

My dr from Plymouth Shore OB (they are awesome BTW) has be scheduled for an ultrasound tomorrow, I already went for bloodwork, then the end of next month I have a biopsy scheduled the same day of my IUD removal. After the results from the biopsy come back (to determine if there's a pathalogical reason for my misery), she's going to to a laperoscopy & D&C on the same day. I could have a hysterectomy if I wanted to, seeing that I've had two children, and with my history of problems, I would be an acceptable canidate.Great. It's like jury duty to me, you really don't want to do it, but you know you're going to have to eventually. Except there's no bench warrant involved if I don't show up.... but I digress ..... The only time I'm not in misery is when I'm pregnant, I LOVE being pregnant, bc I'm a sick freak like that, and with baby princess being a VBAC I could totally do it again.

Husband and I had discussed it last week, and had come to the conclusion that we have two very healthy babies, one of each, and that we are lucky to have the family we have, so why push our luck. Plus we are in no position to try and have another one anytime soon, it would be one thing if we had our own house, etc, but that just isn't going to happen for a long time. So I had accepted it as fact, and skip all the jumping through hoops to save a uterus I was just going to get rid of. So I thought.

The more I thought about it, the more I cried. It sounds incredibly ridiculous, but I would feel less like a woman. And this may sound completely vain and ridiculous, but in conjunction with the fact that I have no boobs what so ever, if I had my uterus aka "baby incubator" taken out, I could no longer become pregnant, the most feminine state you could be in. If I didn't have that what would I have, it's like taking away part of your identity. All the women in my family have had a hysterectomy, bc apparently we all have defective parts, so I know its probably only a matter of time. I just don't know if that time has to be right now.

It's just too permanent for me, I don't know if I can say good bye to this

Dad's Don't Come With Instructions

2010-06-20T16:47:00.000-07:00

Growing up I always adored my father, I wanted to grow up and be super smart just like him. I had an equal amount of fear & respect to the point where if I was being a smart ass all he would have to do was give me "the look" over the glasses and raise his eyebrows, and I would run hysterically into my room and hide until the coast was clear,or until my dad went to work, which ever came first. I don't remember my father, or either of my parents for that matter, being particularly affectionate or squishy, I don't remember them going out of their way to tell me that they loved me, even though I know they did. My dad didn't treat me like a princess, or give into my every whim, I remember everytime I told him something hurt he would reply "then don't do that". Whenever I had some minor childhood injury and would run crying to him, I was told to "walk it off" and when I asked how long was it going to hurt for, "two weeks". Now that I think back, everything was two weeks, regardless if it was a tooth ache or a skinned knee, two weeks.

Could my father have been a little more affectionate, probably, would I have liked to hear 'I Love You' more, yeah. I do remember 'the old man' always read to me and tucked me in, everynight. He would play monopoly with me once a week, and while he didn't let me cheat, he wouldn't buy certain properties, even though I knew he should. He always kept his word, he always showed up, and he always looked out for what was in my best interests, even if I didn't think so at the time. He saved my life, literally. I was born with a cogenital heart defect that would throw me into cardiac & respiratory arrest at the drop of a dime, the ER Doc had given up when I was a few months old, and as a practicing paramedic my dad took the IV kit himself and started the line, he saved my life.

My father may not have done somethings the way I had hoped, and there may have been more yelling growing up than I cared for, but he shaped me into the person I am today. He is amazing with my children, and melts for them, gives into everyone of their requests, and fawns over every single one of their boo-boo's. He fills them full of cookies and candies, re built the chicken coop because he thought MJ would like some baby chicks, and then made mention of emptying out one of the stalls to make room for a pony. Hey, as long as it stays at their place, what do I care.

The stern man that I had grown up with, and feared (most of my friends still do), has melted away to a loving grandfather, and turned into someone I can ask life's questions too. I hope that I can be atleast half as amazing not only as a parent, but as a person, as my father is. I am thankful everyday that I have him, and so are my children.

Not To Be A Negative Nelly ... Is It Just Me?

2010-06-14T06:01:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm just being a "negative nelly" and missing the big picture here, but I've come to the conclusion I really have little use for the Mashpee Commons, outside of a few exceptions, it just doesn't really seem to be pocketbook friendly to the year round residents here. Growing up on cape I had always frequented the shops there and spent time with my friends going through the shops, but it feels to me that the Mashpee Commons has started to cater to its seasonal, far more wealthy clientele, en lieu of appealing to its blue collar residents.

Honestly, Gustare Oils & Vinegars, a wine & oil bar, while it certainly is a novelty, is it really something that we could benefit from in the long run? Or the Troll Beads store,where you can make your own jewlery, while the product certainly is beautiful, I can't afford to be spending $30-$100 on ONE BEAD. Seriously folks, with Ann Taylor and Banana Republic gone, I really don't have any reason to go to the commons, with the exception of getting a coffee,a cupcake or painting pottery, what is there for the average Cape Cod family to do there? All these high end shops are nice to look at and all, but how does it benefit the community in which it is located?? Because I know , atleast for myself, I am not going to be spending $78 on a baby sweater .... Just sayin' .... I'm not sure what the goal of the Mashpee Commons is, but it doesn't appear to be one involving the benefit of its community.

Providence Children's Museum

2010-06-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

Against my better judgement I decided to bring my two little ones to the Providence Children's Museum on what was supposed to be a miserable rainy saturday, in the middle of the afternoon. Suprisingly the museum wasn't that bad at all, mind you I've worked at the local children's museum and have expirienced rainy summer saturdays ... the kind of busy where you'll need a helmet, mouth gaurd and a steady supply of excenderin migraine on hand.

Admission was $8.50 per person (babies under 1 year are free and of course Mya's birthday was 3 days before the visit), and in my opinion if you spend your entire day there and enjoy the 2 floors of exhibits and activities its worth the trip. Parking in their lot is free, but if its full you'll have to resort to the meters on the side streets. They allow you to bring in snacks and such (which is always a bonus with little ones, I know thats one of the thing that's kind of annoying about the local one), however they do not have any cafes or food service like the one in Boston, but there are several options around the block.

The first floor has the "Water Works" which was my kids favorite area to play it, and it has two giant water "tables" that kids can experiment with the cause and effect of whirlpools, build drainage systems and participate in other experiments. There's also Power Play which encourages kids in 'free play' which includes air tubes, musical pipes,funhouse mirrors, giant lite brite and other super cool exhibits.

The 2nd floor houses a construction play zone with a workable crane for kids to operate, the "Coming to Rhode Island" exhibit tells the story of the immigrants who helped build the state, this exhibit has a ship that kids can 'steer' raise and lower the flag, and go between the upper and lower decks. There is also a really cool multi cultural grocery market that has a diner inside. 'Little Woods' was a great place for princess, I felt bad that she was stuck in her carriage for fear of her being stomped on, this area is gated off, and is made specifically for kids five and under, so she got to climb around and do her own thing.

The Children's Garden is opening this friday June 11th, and features an outdoor climber, similar to the one in the entrance at the Boston Children's Museum, and 'Underland' and outdoor exhibit that features creatures burrows and tunnels.

In my opinion it's 1,000 times better than the local one, besides the fact that its bigger, in my opinion its much cleaner, offers more things for kids to do and is more parent friendly. It's a little pricey and far away for me to consider purchasing a membership ($125 for 4 people plus the 1 1/2 hour drive), however if you purchase a Association of Children's Museums Membership it provides free admission to a minimum of 4 family members of the same house hold to 165 reciprocal museums including: The Cape Cod Children's Museum, Boston Children's Museum, Children's Museum in Easton, The Discovery Museums in Acton, and The Providence Children's Museum. That to me is a fantastic deal, as soon as I can scrape together a spare $125. Website: http://www.childrensmuseums.org/visit/reciprocal.htm#MA

Day 2

2010-05-31T08:20:00.000-07:00

Day 2 of medication was much better than day 1. MJ was able to have an uninterrupted nap, and was not sleepy thereafter. It was the 1st day in the past two years where the day was without a constant battle, yelling or multiple time outs. MJ still had his usual lack of focus,whining, back talk and freshness, but the reduction in hyperactivity alone was amazing. It really opens your eyes when you have a day where you see your son the way he really is without his personality being over taken by insatiable hyperactivity, my husband and I were not completely drained emotionally and physically by 7PM, we were able to enjoy our family without the tension and the tears. For the first time in 2 years MJ actually sat down at dinner, THE ENTIRE TIME, and ate his dinner. There was no jumping off his chair 5 or 6 times, there was no trying to pull his baby sister out of her high chair or running in and out of the living room. We only had to ask him to do something 2 or 3 times instead of asking incessantly until we lost our patience and either ended up yelling at the kid or putting him in time out.

I realize that its only day 3 today, and we have a long road ahead of us, but even getting a glimpse of our little boy's true self was amazing , and I will not stop and do anything it takes to help him achieve his personal best. I know there are still going to be rough days, and there is no magic pill, but there are tools to help you achieve your goal and in conjunction with behavioral therapy and daily routines, MJ can learn to help himself <3

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

2010-05-29T15:30:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you seem to have all the answers, yet no solution. I've been noticiably absent this past month or so, mostly due to the whirlwind that is my family life, between my grandfathers worsening health, and MJ's escalating behavior, I'm like that supporting branch thats about to snap. We have the diagnosis of ADHD combined inattentiveness and hyperactivity, and we started day 1 today of .5 mg of Tenex which is a alapha 2 beta blocker, non stimulant and non controlled substance. Sounds like a great alternative to the stimulant medications on the market that are commonly prescribed to ADHD, however one of the most commons side effects is drowsiness or solmnence..... Today was not what I'd call a optinmal day for starting a new med, but we wanted to try and get this adressed asap ... we had an unexpected guest at our house and my grandfather was not having a good morning health wise. MJ was given a .5 mg (1/2 of a 1mg tab) when we got up at 7:30 am. 11:00 am this kid was asleep on the couch. I had to wake him up less than an hour later to go to the store, and he was extra whiney and cranky, but I did have to get him up from a nap so I figured maybe that was it.

IDK, this kid hasn't napped regularly in over a year, so IDK whether to be concerned that its the meds making him sleepy, or whether he really has needed to nap this whole time and the hyperactivity keeps him from taking the naps his body really needs. When we got home around 1:30 pm he had lunch, and was asleep again. I needed to wake him up again, less than an hour later to drop him off at my moms bc I had to work, and again he was very whiney and cranky ... So IDK if I'm hypervigilant bc we started this new med, but my heart feels like its going to explode. I don't want his little spark to be snuffed out bc of medication, and I know that its not a good thing for him to continue on the path that he's on. The beginning of the week he gave his father a black eye bc he got so excited about playing that he flung a full super soaker at his father, and with in the first 10 minutes of the exam at children's hospital he had completely covered the front of his feet and legs with marker, shredded the exam table paper, almost over flowed the sink and obsconded the Dr's reflex hammer ..... *sighs* Maybe I just need stronger anxiety medication. My husband was on ritilan when he was MJ's age, I know that Adderall has worked wonders for me (obviously not safe for MJ at this point), and MJ deserves to be at his personal best, which as it stands right now, is just not attainable ... he's a tender hearted caring, bright, and funny little man, I don't want to lose that, ever.

Something Special

2010-05-04T11:04:00.000-07:00

Something Special
By Colbie Calliat

I found a way to be everything
I've dreamed of,
and I know it's in me
that I will become
who I want to be
and I finially found it and I'm taking the long way out
Cause it's gonna be, something special to me
Something special to me

Days go by
and I grow stronger
It takes time, but I'll never let go
Days go by and I'll try harder to make it mine, I know...
Something special to me
Something special to me
Something special to me

I've found
so many things
I've dreamed of
and I know it's in me
that I will become
who I want to be
and I finially found it and I am taking the long way out
Cause it's gonna be,
something special to me
Something special to me
[Something Special Lyrics On http://www.elyricsworld.com/ ]
Days go by and I grow stronger
It takes time, but I'll never let go
Days go by and I'll try harder to make it mine, I know...
It's something special to me

More than I hoped for
More than I dreamed of
This is how it should be.
More than I hoped for
More than I dreamed of
This is how it should be.

Days go by and I'll grow stronger
It takes time, but I'll never let go
Days go by and I'll try harder to make it mine, I know.

It's something special to me
It's something special to me
It's something special to me
Days go by and I grow stronger
It takes time, but I will never let go.
Days go by and I grow stronger
It takes time, but I will never let go.

An early Celebration for my baby princess
Mýa Renée Desrosiers 06/02/2009 7 lbs 8 ounces 19 inches long ♥

Spring Cleaning

2010-04-30T16:49:00.000-07:00

This week was the start of my spring cleaning, however not in the sense I would've thought. This week has been incredibly emotionally taxing, but I ended up learning a lot from it. I was finally able to get a hold of my 'best friend' aka 'wife' who was MIA for the better part of 2 months. I was able to tell her exactly how her absence has made me feel, and how missing my birthday, my son's birthday and my daughter's baptism with no explanation was not acceptable. And that is not something I typically, actually, ever do. I take it and take it, because I have fallen into the role of the 'peace keeper', I hate confrontation, even if it's at my expense.

Then my sister in law had informed me that she ordered her wedding invitations, after she had already asked me to make them, all the paper & supplies were already bought, and the format was all set on my computer to start working on them next week. Mind you her wedding isn't until the 1st weekend of september, she said that she 'didn't want to worry about them', and she figured that 'I was too busy', but I could 'make the favor tags if I wanted to'. First of all, she never gave me a date of when she wanted them done by, but from planning 4 previous weddings I know that typical etiquette calls for 6-8 weeks prior to the wedding the invitations can be sent out. I tried to explain to her that I wouldn't have offered to make her invitations (which were to match the save the dates I already made, along with the rest of the paper goods needed ), and that I would've had them by the first week of June. Apparently sister in law from hell is an expert on everything and told me 'well its actually 10 weeks with the holiday weekend, these things are time sensitive'.
REALLY BITCH BC I'VE NEVER HELPED WITH A WEDDING OR PLANNED MY OWN FOR THAT MATTER?!I understand its her wedding, and people change their minds last minute all the time, but atleast let me know BEFORE you go ahead and order invitations, since I already spent time and money making what you specifically asked for. I've cut not only her but most of my in laws off, if not already putting up strict boundaries. They could give a shit about me, the only time they have anything to do with me is if they need me to do something for them, or if it has to do with the kids. All the conversations are very superficial, I tried to do things when Michael & I first started dating, but it was like pulling teeth. Everytime we are together (holidays, kids playing etc)they pretty much ignore me. They always have their 2 cents to add about what we 'should' be doing.Nothing I've ever done has been good enough, I'VE never been good enough. This past week is just a culmination of 7 years of me being a doormat, trying to make it work with people who are completely unwilling to give me a chance.

I've always tried to find happiness through other people, by making sure they're happy, instead of looking inward and being happy with in myself. And by doing so, I end up suffering in the end. I'm all done. Nice Robin is gone. I'm not going to be a malicious bitch by any means, but I refuse to sit here and let people take advantage of me and treat me like shit.

First Impressions

2010-04-24T16:01:00.000-07:00

"I was never the girl next door." ~ Betty Page

Pin up models have been around as long as there has been commercial print, although it may be synonymous with the WWII era, their existence has been documented back to the 1890's. The pin up models that most of our society are familiar with were traditionally found in the lockers of the soldiers at war during WWII when companies became wise to the idea of using these models to advertise their products, such as gillette razors. The traditional innocence of the 'girl-next-store' pin up was lost in the 1970's thanks to magazines such as Play boy and Hustler who became bored with the Betty Page form, and unfortunately opened the flood gates to the emergence of the identically vapid genetically altered fem bot that is still in existence.

Although being a pin up model may have been meant to use the models sex appeal for financial gain, in my opinion, it has become the embodiment of what it means to be a woman. Betty Page, Marilyn Monroe,Lauren Becall, these women were a true representation of what it was to be feminine. Today it seems like all we have are walking talking vapid stick figures, nothing the average woman can really relate to.

Being a part of a retro pin up shoot, will make even the most tomboy-ish girl feel ultra feminine. There is nothing like being able to play dress up, and having your make up done, it truly makes you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, from the inside out. I was lucky enough to work with Lorraine Murphy and Genn Shaughnessy from First Impressions Pin Ups, to experience my first of, what I can expect to be, my first of many retro shoots.

The total experience start to finish, including the use of all wigs & accessories, make up professionally done by Ms.Shaugnessy, photography skills of Mrs.Murphy, a high resolution disc of all your shots (anywhere from 150-200), gas up to Boston and Parking at the Hyatt, is around $450, if you'd like your own hair professionally done that is an additional $50, and you may also add an additional hour for more costumes shots (you are alotted 3 in your 1 hour time block)for around $100. It may seem like a big price tag, and you may opt not to purchase the high resolution disc ($200) and save there (you can choose to purchase individual prints seprately), but I personally prefer to own all of the prints and be able to buy seperately, especially if you're already going to spend the time and money on a photo shoot like this. If you were going to price this type of photo shoot on your own, it would cost around 3X that much, so I think this is an amazing price :)

http://www.pinupmakeover.com/

http://www.modelmayhem.com/gennshaughnessy

http://www.modelmayhem.com/pinupmakeover

Shoulda Woulda Coulda

2010-04-17T16:19:00.000-07:00

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this, thanks to melting mama's recent article ( http://networkedblogs.com/30J1J ) about the 'what if's ' of life, i.e. having children early and living your life in a different path as to 'catch up' to your peers. I always felt like I never truly got to follow the path of life or what have you, like my friends did. Starting with college. All my friends went away to colleges, applying to various schools that had actual dorms, with room mates ... I went to the concrete jungle aka Cape Cod Community College. I didn't really know what the hell I wanted, I had a vague idea, I finished the high school's pre school early education program that enabled you to be certified through the state to work in any pre school as a teachers assistant, and I graduated with art honors (math kept me off the regular honor roll). So I decided since I was good at both, I'd be an elementary school art teacher. mmm kay.

I lived a very typical sheltered cape cod up bringing, the only time I actually ventured over the bridge was to go to dorm parties at my friends college, I lived vicariously through them. My parents really didn't have the money, I had a few scholarships and grants but that would never cover full time state or private school, and I was far to scared to live away from home. So 4 C's seemed the obvious choice. through the 2 year tenure I changed majors 3 times, from early childhood education, to human services to emergency medical services, and managed to single handedly assasinate my GPA thanks to undiagnosed ADHD & Anxiety. So I guess I really was better off wasting $ over in west barnstable rather than wasting $$ at a state school. But I always felt I was left out bc I never really went to a "real" school.
4 C's is supposed to be a stepping stone 2 year college, or 4 year satellite ... yeah fast forward 9 years and another major change. And most of my friends have their degrees, although most are not working in a field related to what they spent all of their $$ on. One of my best girlfriends went to Emerson and got a degree in stage management ... she works at a bank.

Facebook can be really depressing too. A lot of my friends, including my sister in law who is 3 years younger than me, are in the process of buying, or have bought, a house. That is so far out of our reach right now, its really depressing. If it wasnt for our amazing family we'd be homeless. I feel completely embarrassed and ashamed that I have to depend on other people for something that I should be able to provide for my family. But no, my dumbass went on a joy ride with credit cards and will be spending the next 3 years on a debt management plan paying them back, instead of saving for a house.

I love my children with all of my heart, they are absolutely everything to me. I just wish I guess I had done things in the "right" order I guess, so I could properly provide for them (i.e. have a house for them to call their own) and not worry about having to decide between gas for my car and groceries. I dread the day little michael wants to invite a friend over, or the day I may have to return the favor of a play date, because the house is not our own :(

When I was in high school my genious OBGYN Dr.Angus told me it would be unlikely I'd be able to become pregnant or that I would have a hard time becoming pregnant bc of my endometriosis. So after I had such a hard time with every birth control known to man, I decided to take myself off of it completely. 2 weeks later I tripped, fell and became pregnant with MJ.I still hold that Dr. Dumbass, Chris Isaak and Victoria Secrets owes me back child support .... but that hasn't panned out.

I guess the whole point that I'm trying to convey here is that I feel inadequate bc I don't have everything that I would have expected to at my age. Knowing that I'll still be living with family kills me. But I guess it could be worse, because my family is pretty awesome, even if they do wake you at the ass crack of dawn to bury deceased live stock.

Getting On My Soap Box

2010-04-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

My husband has grounded me from watching Nancy Grace along the other laundry list of other Headline News shows, he says its too depressing, and it only exhasterbates my already dibilitating anxiety. I can't help it, maybe its because she's the greatest mega bitch that has ever lived, its part of what draws me to her show. Anyways, the whole 'update' on the Haleigh Cummings case has me in my soap box. If you're not familiar with her case, check out HLN, its on replay. Basically about a year and a half ago, 9-1-1 was called in Putnum County Florida (what is with Florida and missing/murdered children WTF already) when father 27 year old Ronald Cummings came home around 2 am from working at a factory (which initially was confirmed) to 17 year old babysitter/live in girlfriend Misty Crosslen stating some one had 'stolen' Hayley while they (meaning herself,Haleigh and 3 year old brother Ron Jr were asleep in the same room. Misty had claimed that she last saw Haleigh at around 10 pm when she went to sleep, and went on to change stories on which child was sleeping in what bed, and also went on to give an incorrect description on Haleigh's PJ's. A lot of things were not adding up in Misty's 'account' of that night. The Cummings family had a troubled past, and Haleigh's 'disaapearance' was just a tragedy waiting to happen. What gets me is that Ronald (the father) went on to marry Misty about 1 month later, even though her story wasn't making any sense and she was the last one to reportedly see Haleigh alive. WHO THE HELL DOES THAT?!?!? Not surprisingly the marriage only lasted a few months, and the two divorced, only to re unite several months later on drug trafficking charges, surprise surprise. My question is WHY IS THERE NOT A COMPETANCY TEST TO BECOME A PARENT!?!?!?! You need a license to drive a car, a license to own a dog, even a license to catch a fish, but theres no rules or regulations in order to care for a child?!?!?! WTF!!!!! And why in so many cases, does CPS give back these children of violent and drug addicted homes, where abuse has been proven, being an abuser does not stop at 'oh I promise I'll never do it again', I may be completely out of line here, but in my opinion, once an abuser, always an abuser. These poor children do not have a chance, there are so many families out there who would love to care for these children that are abuse and neglected, but the parents use them as a pawn to gain whatever advantage it is they're getting. It absolutely boils my blood. Poor Haleigh is believed to have been thrown into a river with alligators, and they're still debating on whether or not she was dead when she was tied down with cinderblocks. She was a poor defenseless 5 year old little girl with special needs, and she had the unfortunate luck of being born into the situation she was. Our children are our future, when will we as a society start putting more value on their precious little lives

(http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/breakingnews/os-haleigh-cummings-dead-20100415,0,6269630.story)

"And you take me the way I am..."

2010-04-04T15:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the people who mean to do the best for you end up doing the worst, not realizing the constant stream of conflicting comments only create a bigger and more complex monster. Ever since I could remember my mother chirps in with the weight comments, good and bad. I honestly don't think she was consciously trying to hurt me, just one of those thoughtless off the cuff remarks. I remember growing up my mother making comments about my short chubby little legs or my butt, especially around puberty (which is a bitch in my family) I like most girls, added some chubbyness on top of my already growing 'ackward preteen' resume. I remember playing by the pool with one of my best girl friends (who happened to be a string bean all through school) and doing a split, "your fats hanging out of the side". When all my girlfreinds took up ballet in JR high school, I wanted to go too, "you can't do that, you're too fat". I wasn't ballet material for numerous reasons, and I'm sure that the required leotard would've been less than flattering, but I was by no means a living breathing weeble wobble. Once the summer before my freshman year of high school rolled around I figured out the magic of calorie restricting, I was never good at math, but I knew that if I kept my daily caloric intake around 500 and did that same amount of crunches, I know longer was the proud owner of the ackward preteen chub.

Through out my freshman year I did not crack 100 lbs, hitting my lowest point at 86 lbs. It sounds horrifying, but given that I'm very petite I was able to hide it easier. Through out high school my weight yo yo'd going from my lowest of 86 lbs to 125 lbs when I graduated, which is considered healthy for 5'4". The boyfriend I had in high school was not particularly helpful to my weight obsession, I suppose when you take on unhealthy habits or lifestyles, you in turn attract unhealthy people. I had dated him for many years, when we started dating I was still in my very thin stage, and once I became with in a 'normal' weight range the comments from him would start. I have a lot of food allergies (which probably only exaserbates my anxiety with food) and had a very limited menu that I could eat from at the lunch room at school, which mainly consisted of chips and a drink. We would be sitting with my friends and when I went to open my bag of chips, he'd snatch them away from me and say 'you don't need to eat those'. Eventually we ended up sitting by ourselves during lunch ... gee I wonder why ....

After highschool we broke up, by my relationships with men that were less than healthy seemed to be a running theme. It wasn't until I met my now husband that I can honestly say that I'm in a healthy, loving and supportive relationship with someone who is my best friend. My poor husband knows that I'm sick, but I don't think that he knows what to do with it. I don't know what to do with it. I don't think that I look particularly sick, but my anxiety around food and eating is over whelming. Combined with various life threatening food allergies, and now a choking episode every other time I try to eat (going back and forth to boston trying to figure out if its eosinophilic esophagitis or very aggressive acid reflux), trying to eat is torture. I eat whatever I want, but I torture myself mentally over it and go to the gym every day that is physically possible, and when I don't I get physically ill. I obsess over what size clothes I am, which every woman knows is a losing battle because most companies have different ways of cutting clothes, so you might be one size in one store, then 4 sizes bigger in another. How good I feel on any particular day depends on how fat I feel.

I don't think I need to state the obvious here, That dress is a size 0 and its baggy ... not attractive

I don't think that I fit any one particular eating disorder category, I'm in eating disorder pergatory. I don't binge, I don't puke, I eat very little, but I don't consciously restrict, and I'm obsessed with the gym. I just absolutely adore the feeling of being tiny. I think a part of it is a control issue, I've had so many (non related) health issues, and an anxiety disorder, that being able to control my size is one thing that brings me comfort, and getting any type of therapy or treatment to me means taking away my security blanket.

I have two beautiful children, my son is four and my daughter is 10 months. I gained 50 lbs each time, and for anyone with a eating disorder the comments of "OH.MY.GOD.YOU HAVE HOW MUCH LONGER LEFT?!" "ARE YOU HAVING TWINS??" isn't exactly reassuring. When you lose all the baby weight and then the back handed compliments start coming in ... "you look great, just don't lose anymore weight" .... nice. I was able to stop my weight obsession cold turkey when I was pregnant both times, I think I felt safe because I had carte blanche to gain weight with out too much self hatred and guilt, because after all, I was growing a human. It's always been one or the other, either I look a little chubby or "are you eating""what is it your eating" ... when people start harassing me about my diet I just shut down, its kind of like a double edged sword, I always want to be the littlest one, yet I don't want the comments that go with it.

I know how harmful my mothers comments were to me, and I consciously don't pick at myself or make negative comments around my children, and I tell both my children that they're gorgeous every day. My daughter is very very tall, she's 10 months old and has been wearing size 18 months since she was 8 months old. I've gotten after people, particularly my mother, about comments like "beast" and "giant" .... no she's a 'supermodel' or just plain old 'beautiful girl' will do. I know that I will never ever ever make comments about my daughters body, and will not stand for anyone doing it either. My mother and grandmother are always very critical of their own bodies, and when some one you love and look up to says bad things about their own bodies, as a child, you think they are perfect, and you came from them ... so you think ... 'if they think they're fat and ugly, I must be too'.

So whats the moral of the story here? I'm not sure exactly. I know that I'm floating around in eating disorder pergatory with my 'security blanket' of body image obsession, yet it can make me so miserable. I know I'm going to fight like hell to make sure my daughter knows how gorgeous she is, and to make sure my son treats every woman with dignity and respect, and love her for who she is. Now I'm at my pre baby weight, but my old clothes aren't quite fitting the same and my body has changed ... lets just say that losing a total of 100 baby lbs can cause some sagging ... and drooping ... *I feel pretty**oh so pretty* ....so now besides the numbers on the scale, I have a whole new area to obsess about, and unfortunately the only way to fix those particular problems I'd have to visit Dr.Nip/Tuck because no amount of excersize can get rid of extra skin.

My husband, my best friend, my heart

I go through highs and lows of my own self image, if I make a conscious effort to compliment myself and try to feel good, then I do feel better, but it is a lot of work after almost 20 years of self loathing, and sometimes my efforts get lost between working a full time job, doing laundry, cleaning the house and changing diapers. Am I better than I was, yes. Will I ever be 'cured', probably not. It's like recovering from any other 'addiction' whether it be drugs,alcohol, etc, its an on going effort, some days are better than others. My husband and babies keep me from falling off the edge, because I know that they need me, even if I don't think I'm all that important, at the end of the day my husband needs his wife, and my babies need their mommy.

It's never too early to tell her she's beautiful, just the way she is

March Madness

2010-03-25T23:23:00.000-07:00

After a week of "vacation" I'm back and catching up from this 'March Madness'. After MJ's birthday and our trip up to Boston, it was time to plan the next event, Mýa's baptism. Everything went well, it was a whirlwind, but everyone had a good time. My cousin Melinda flew up from Raleigh for the even, serving as Mýa's godmother, and my brother Chris was Mýa's godfather. We had her Baptised 03/21 at The Cotuit Federated Church by Pastor Nicole LaMarche. The Baptism was party of the church service where everyone welcomed our family and Mýa to the congregation, which was really nice. We were given a certificate of baptism along with a pink rose and hand knit blanket from the church's quilters guild, which was really sweet and thoughtful. Apart from MJ being his spastic ADHD self and almost knocking over the stand that held the baptismal water (I believe it's not officially holy water), it went off without a hitch, Michael & I were of course mortified at his behavior but everyone thought he was hysterical. Ha ha... We all shared cake following the service with the congregation, and then the family went back to our place for pizza and play time.

Birthday Week

2010-03-04T23:56:00.001-08:00

I'm just now winding down from this birthday week whirlwind. My little man turned 4 on March 2nd, I can't believe my baby boy is four. I remember when we brought him home the first night from the hospital, and being new parents for the first time my (now) husband and I both stayed up the whole night at the same time because we were terrified something would happen or we wouldn't hear him cry. That obviously was a mistake. And we never missed him crying. When Mj was little and squishy, my husband would ask "when is he going to move so I can play with him?". Now we can't get the kid to STOP moving, even in his sleep, he's a sleep thrasher, he literally either ends up upside down or across the bed, and if you share a bed with him you feel like you just got your ass kicked in a MMA fight. I know, I've been elbowed and right hooked in the mouth before. We had his birthday party at Tumble Time Gym in Pocasset which was fun, it got his energy out and I didn't have to worry about entertaining kids in my house, and it wasn't too expensive.
The cake was okay in light of Roche Brother's previous incident with my "birthday wishes" cake that looked like it had poo on it. Next year though I think I'm going to end up doing an old fashioned birthday party complete with a home made cake. We forget about what its really all about, always worrying about if you're "doing enough", like people are going to judge you if your kids party wasn't cool enough. I'm tired, I'm broke, and I don't give a crap anymore :)
After our birthday party bonanza we had our first family mini vacation. Which when you have small children is more work than vacation, but you do it really for them to have a good time, because after all you can rest when your dead. I had booked two nights at the Crowne Plaza in North Shore for the CoCo Key waterpark package after reading reviews, I thought I'd risk it. Over all it was okay, it was a very nice and clean hotel with courteous and efficient staff. The waterpark was clean and not too crowded and MJ had a great time, Mýa tolerated it.

A couple of things that kind of put me off and jaded my own personal expierience:
1)The hotel nickel & dime-ing you for every item or service that is normally complimentary at other hotels such as :
- $25 per item per day on the mini fridge and microwave
I've heard of maybe a $10 charge for the mini fridge, but $25 ?!?!?!
- $10 wifi internet for guest rooms, free in lobby & lounge
- $5 per guest for 1 hour use of hotel pool, family swim time startes at noon
I've never heard of a hotel charging the GUESTS to use their own pool never
mind putting a time limit on it, and limiting the time when children can use
the pool, plus you can not use it if theres a water aerobics class going on
- no coin laundry only dry cleaning which is $$
- charging $8 for crappy contential breakfast, and an extra $3.00 if you want
eggs
2) The arcade associated with CoCo Key has the same operating hours as the waterpark
Which means as a parent with 2 small kids you spend more $$ outside the hotel to
entertain them

If you want just a day pass for CoCo Key it's $40 per person per day regardless of age, except kids under 2 are free. CoCo Key is open from 3pm-9pm mon-friday and all day on the weekends and school vacation. In my opinion its not right to charge people the same price during the week when the hours are limited as on the weekend when the park is open all day. So hence why I decided on the two night hotel package because for like $40 more we got a nice room and Danvers is a good 2 hour ride.

We went to the New England Aquarium during the day tuesday while we were waiting for the resort to open, and that was another money pit. We didn't have time to grab passes from the library (I believe you're required to return them the next day anyways and we wouldn't have been able to)and got stuck parking at the nearest garage which was $30. Between paying admission for 3 people (Mýa was free), getting ripped off at the locker rental ($4 PER TIME YOU OPEN IT) it was well over $100 just for that alone. The kids seemed to enjoy it, but I think our money would've been better spent at the Children's museum for the day.

Overall it wasn't a bad vacation, but it was kind of defeating to feel like everyone was out to suck your wallet dry, it's hard to enjoy a trip when you have to worry about where your money is going :-P In my opinion, for those who are interested in waterparks, I'd save your money for Water Wizz when it open's, its about 3 X bigger and $10 cheaper, plus when you're local you don't have to worry about paying for a hotel.

Broken

2010-02-11T02:38:00.000-08:00

I consider myself a pretty tough broad. I've been through a lot of things the past 26 years, this however, I honestly didn't see coming. My trust is broken by someone I would have never expected. I guess it's true the only person you can count on is your self. And your mom. My mom is pretty awesome, she's never let me down. So me & my mom. The only people I can trust. FACT. I really don't even know where to go with this. The breath has been taken out of me, I literally feel like my heart is physically broken. Things happen for a reason I guess, we'll see what happens, but I don't ever know if it'll be the same.

Thanks For Nothing Blue Cross

2010-01-23T23:54:00.000-08:00

I'm a little irritated and my brain hurts. I'm still trying to figure out the logic they use in making up their set of rules. I was given a perscription of priolosec that necessitated 60 pills be dispensed in order to double up on the dosage as required before I go into my next 'scope procedure. Well Blue Cross will only allow the pharmacist to dispense 34 pills. Thanks for the thought Blue Cross, but that's pretty much useless to me. Now given it's sunday there's no one at Blue Cross or at the gastro enterology department of Beth Israel, it'll probably be the better part of a week before I can get this straightened out. I'm just baffeled bc it's not like Prilosec is a popular street drug, people aren't feinding for some ant acids. I give over a quarter of my paycheck to these a-holes and in return I get to run around and spend most of my day on the phone playing the "which medication will my insurance cover" game. *DANCE PUPPET DANCE*. So much for supposedly being the best insurance carrier.

Zumba FAIL

2010-01-21T01:08:00.000-08:00

I was super pumped this morning when I found a zumba class that actually worked right in to my work out routine. I have never taken Zumba but I've seen you tube clips that made it appear super fun.
What I Expected:

What I got

So as I and another lady waited outside the room for another class to end (which was 15 minutes late I might add), we made small chit chat and another older lady arrived. Apparently this lady was the "instructor", we were caught off guard since she was out of shape and not prepared. Ok. So to make things a little more awkward I was one of two people in attendance in this "class". The instructor puts on the head set and starts to play some awful out dated salsa music. Great. She proceeds to "warm up" without letting us know what the hell is going on. Now, not that I'm an expert or anything, but judging from previous classes, and dance instruction, I was under the assumption that there would be some kind of instruction going on. Apparently not in this class. Not only did she not tell us what she was doing, everything seemed to be completely random, nothing made any sense and to make it even better she was out of breath, so anything she did say was with a heavy accent and in between gasps of air. So needless to say I did not enjoy my first Zumba experience, the lady who was in the class with me was also greatly disappointed, she said "there's a reason we were the only two in there", and said that there was another Zumba class taught by a good instructor who would actually TEACH you something on Monday nights. I'm not sure if this uncoordinated white girl is up for it, we'll see how much humilitaion I can handle for one week.

We Put The "Fun" In Disfunction

2010-01-12T23:58:00.000-08:00

Main Entry: en·abler
Pronunciation: \i-ˈnā-blər, -bəl-ər\
Function: noun
Date: 1615

: one that enables another to achieve an end; especially : one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior (as substance abuse) by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior

My uncle is dying of alcoholism. No pity party for me, as there is a long family history of tension and drama, but the person I feel the worst for is my grandfather. I can't imagine outliving my own child. However my grandfather is his own worst enemy. He is your classic enabler. My grandmother was also a fall down alcoholic when she was alive, going as far as drinking nyquil for the alcohol content. I don't know if my grandfather refuses to recognize that there is a problem, or just doesn't get it because there was no such thing as "alcoholism" when he was growing up and raising his own family.

My uncle steve is a functional drunk, the kind of drunk that if he tried to sober up, it would kill him. When he was able to come over his eyes were always glazed over his gait and speech were always slow and deliberate, often commenting on irrelevant and non sensible things. He was always nice enough to us kids, and did help out grampa from time to time. I'm told that he never had ambition, even when he was younger. A degree in architecture from Wentworth hangs in the old office of the building company he had with my grandfather 35 years ago. Uncle steve was left in charge of the business when my grandfather retired, and he promptly drove that into the ground. He was a firefighter on Cotuit with my grandfather and both my parents. When my father got hired on Mashpee, my uncle was also offered a job. He didn't want it. Then my uncle hurt his back climbing a ladder some 30 years ago. And that was it. He hasn't worked since. His house is in shambles, and it doesn't even look like a house. To see it, you'd have to look for it on school street. All the trees & shrubbery's are overgrown. It looks like the house from the movie "The House Of 1000 corpses".

I overhear my grandfather talking to once of his friends in the kitchen "You know that boy worries me, his color's not right". He's referring to my Uncle's eggplant complexion. You see, my uncle has drank himself into circulatory failure, among other things. Then the falls started. my uncle fell twice with in the past week. The rescue came both times because my cousin Craig (who is also a functioning alcoholic) was not able to help him up. My Uncle was just diagnosed with CHF (a result of his drinking) and the hospital is still running tests to find out what else the alcohol has destroyed. I'm guessing Gout is also going to be added onto the list, Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome, Alcoholic Liver Disease, and probably others.

I was just stunned and frustrated at the same time by my grandfathers comment. Really grampa? You really don't know what's wrong with Uncle Steve? I don't know if he's afraid people will judge him because his son is an alcoholic, like people will think it's 'his fault'. With my grandmother, I think that he believed that she was "always that way" and there was no name for it really, and when there was a category for it, it was viewed as a "weakness" or something to be ashamed of. Views have changed drastically since then, but when you have someone who is so set in their ways its damn near impossible to change their mind, even if you're trying to help them.

My grandfather is an enabler with other family members to. People take advantage of him to, and it pisses me off to no end, especially when there's not a damned thing I can do. My grandfathers niece (my father's 1st cousin) constantly drops by, using our home as her personal motel, dragging her business (and annoying yappy ankle biter dog) about. She's also an enabler. Her useless drain on society adult son Jeff is constantly in and out of the psych ward, has no job, lives in section 8 housing bc he's on disability for bi polar. Yep, apparently you can claim disability for a common non life threatening (etiology wise) psychiatric disease. Jeff is 40 some odd years old, but bums gas & cigarette money off his mom, and she comes down to deal with his doctors appointments. My grandfather finally stopped lending him money. The thing that kills me is that my grandfather gets annoyed with these people and yet he continues to let them walk all over him.

And my other useless drain on society relative, Craig (as above mentioned, my cousin, Uncle Steve's son), is also a functioning fall down alcoholic who was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at 3 years old and never developed mentally past the age of 15. Diabetes, drunk and a chain smoker. Good combination. His big claim to fame was working at Filene's basement until the closed, and his "band" that use to practice in my grandfather's shop. They would come and practice at all hours, leaving the place a mess, with beer cans and god knows what else. I'm not one to start trouble, but when you ash and spill beer on my kid's beach toys, I draw the line mother fucker.

My grandfather, being deaf as a door nail, wouldn't hear them "practice". But I would. When I'm trying to put my kid to bed and sleep for the midnight shift, you bet I would. My cousin would never listen to my grandfather when asked to turn it down or come during certain hours. Shutting the power off didn't stop them either. Finally they were kicked out. The "band" broke up shortly after.

It's really amazing to me, as in the case of my father and his brother, that two people could be raised in the same house, but be two completely different people. All be it, 9 years apart, that aside, they both had the same opportunities, same parents, same up bringing.Two completely different people. My father has a successful career and beautiful family. My Uncle Steve, not so much.

Even with my son, my grandfather gives in. 8 am and this kid is running around with a mouth full of cookies. Really?! I know my grandfather truly believes that he is helping in all of the above situations, but it really infuriates me that he doesn't know, or maybe doesn't WANT to see, that people take advantage of him because of it. I just hope for his sake that Uncle Steve holds out until after my grandfather leaves this world. It's not a good sign when your 87 year old father is in better health than you are.

Fighting The Power

2010-01-07T22:28:00.000-08:00

I watched possibly the most profound documentary today. America The Beautiful, a film by Darryl Roberts, explored this nation's obsession with perfection and beauty. While this obviously isn't a new unexplored territory, the film really hit home for me. Having struggled with eating disorders and body image issues since puberty, I felt empowered after watching this film. I don't want to give too much away, but I will share this : The film opens with the story of a gorgeous new model Gerren Taylor. She is a young black model who is 6 ft tall and a size zero, truly an exquisite beauty. They show Gerren at a model party on a roof top, filled with half naked, topless models (though she is not one of them), gallavanting around with bottles of booze ... then the narrator shares Gerren's age ... 12. A TWELVE YEAR OLD RUNWAY MODEL. WHAT. THE. HELL.

One of the arguments made by the fashion designers in the film in regards to why the models are so skinny, was that the material is too expensive to waste on "bigger" sizes that "no one will buy". Right. Personally, I think that the runway designs, for the most part look ridiculous. In addition, I know that I in no way resemble that 6 ft tall size 0 model, so it is even less appealing to me. If they had "normal" sized woman parading around on the runway I might pay attention, because I could realistically envision myself wearing that outfit. Also, as a side note, ever notice that most of the clothes on the sale rack are a size 0 or 2? There's a reason folks.

The film continues to delve into the subject of social responsibilty, and really sheds light on the fact that we really need to re evaluate our whole sense of self, because this whole standard of "beauty" is literally killing us, our mothers, sisters, nieces and daughters are taught that they are not good enough from the womb. A disturbing statistic shared in the film is that almost 1/2 of all 4th graders are on a "diet". Eve Ensler, an American playwright most famous for the "Vagina Monologues" made a comment that stuck with me:
"There was a great expierience I had when I was in Africa.This woman in the fields of Nyrobi, I asked her 'Do you like your body?'
And she looked at me like I was crazy. 'My body? Like my body?I love my body!
I love my hands, my fingers! My finger nails, they looks like little crescent moons. And my arms! My arms are so strong!The carry me along, they are so strong!
And my legs are so stong they can hold a man...'Eve said to this woman "I don't know how to do that, I don't know how to love my body". The african woman responds "Why, what is wrong with your body?". Eve responds "well I have this stomach..." . The african woman interrupts her "Your stomach? Your stomach is meant to be seen!". The woman explains (pointing to a tree in the field) "Do you see that tree ? Do you like that tree?"Now the woman points to another tree" Now looks at this tree. Do you like that tree? Now do you say 'this tree is not pretty because it does not look like that tree'?".

I had never thought of beauty like that before, and it makes perfect sense. We as a culture are so saturated with this poisonus expectation of 'beauty" that it completely corrupts our sense of self. If I was ever asked if I liked my body, I would never think of commenting on something like my strength.

Another interesting point that was made in the film was in reference to western cultures influence on the beauty standard. A professor in boston who had studied the people of Fiji noted that within the 3 years that television was introduced to the island, that 11% of the naitive children had developed an eating disorder. That's the kind of statistic you'd find in an average highschool. If an ancient, well established culture such as the Fijian's, whom have a deeply rooted culture and tradition, can be so drastically changed in 3 years, can you imagine how this is affecting our own culture?

It's a struggle, and a conscience effort, but I am loving and accepting myself how I am. I am also making damn sure that I tell my daughter how beautiful she is every single day, and making sure I don't critisize my own body in front of her. I never thought about it before, but a big part of this is a learned behavior. You grow up watching your own mother, who you think of as perfect pick apart her own body, what as a child, are you supposed to think of your own body that your mother gave you?

"Normal" Need Not Apply

2010-01-05T23:40:00.000-08:00

It's not exactly a secret that I'm a medical anomaly, an enigma of sorts.It's never what you think it is. Normal doesn't apply to me. I've had somewhere in the ballpark of 18 surgeries in my life, and those are the ones I can remember. For almost a year I've had severe dysphagia to the point where I actually choke,can't breathe, and the thought of "I don't want to die, please god no" actually goes through my mind. I've gotten to the point where I'm teaching my almost four year old to dial 9-1-1 if mommy chokes. So I start with my ear,nose & throat doctor whom I've been a patient of since I was born, the man is nothing less than a genius, and has literally saved my life on more than one occasion. He does the spelunking of my upper airway with a tiny little light in the office and says that my upper airway is bright red, likely the result of acid reflux. So I start various antacid treatments and proton pump inhibitors, I never felt the acid reflux, but apparently that can happen. I tried somewhere along the lines of half a dozen meds with no change. I do the barium swallow, drink some nasty chalk milkshake from hell, and swallow a big horse pill so they can watch me choke and almost throw up on myself. I watched the x ray while I was doing this, and could see how everything went to the left, the pill sat in my throat for MINUTES, not seconds before it finally went down, and you could see the stomach acid erupt like mt vesuvius. So I get referred to a gastroentorologist, lets just call him "Dr.Pepper" ... you'll understand why in a minute.

I go to the day surgery office of Dr.Pepper for an endoscopy. After the procedure Dr.Pepper exclaims that there was nothing structurally wrong with my esophagus, and there was no sign of damage by acid reflux. Um K. So I continue to choke or have food get stuck in my throat for weeks afterwards and then receive a call from Dr.Pepper's office to schedule an appointment for a follow up. Dr.Pepper might have found "something" but he'd rather discuss it in his office. Of course you do, you need your $10 co pay, maybe thats just me being cynical. But I digress... Anyways at the follow up Dr.Pepper more or less says he's "guessing" my choking episodes are being caused by something called Eosinophilic esophagitis. Which in layman's terms, means that my esophagus is having a local allergic reaction to an unknown source, and swells, hence causing my choking episodes . The only way to diagnose this is by taking a biopsy of the tissue from the esophagus, which he did, but they way it was conveyed to me was that there "wasn't a lot" of eosinopil's (the allergy cells), but it was elevated, so he was guessing that this was what it was.

splendid

So I went on a course of meds that was supposed to help treat this "allergic reaction". And surprise surprise, nothing happened. On my last appointment I told him that the medication was not working, and this is what he had to say (paraphrased)

"Well as long as you don't become malnourished and lose too much weight you'll be fine, unless you want to go on a long term schedule of prednisone, but that makes people fat and crazy"

fabulous Dr.Pepper, and where did you get your medical license, the online college of medicine of the cayman islands?!

I'm no doctor, but I'm failrly certain that the continuation of choking spells over a prolonged period of time cannot be favorable for the structure of my esophagus ... I'm just sayin .....
So with the lack of a satisfactory answer from the local butcher, I called up Beth Israel of Boston to make an appointment with an actual gastroenterologist. I just really don't think that this "diagnosis" is correct, and that this "Dr's" answer was satisfactory. Normal has never applied to me, so making your "best educated guess" isn't going to cut it Dr.Pepper.

The New Year

2010-01-02T23:30:00.000-08:00

My first post of the new year, unfortunatley I don't have anything terribly exciting to share. I'm well on my way into my debt management plan, so if everything goes according to plan I should, in theory, be credit card debt free in 3 years or so. Which coincidentally, is around the time my car should be paid off, so needless to say I am very much looking forward to the year 2013. Husband and I were able to pull of Christmas without using the evil plastic, and while it was hard and stressful at the time, I'm so glad we didn't swipe out souls away this year. It really is invigorating to know that I will be able to tell the credit card companies to suck it.

Husband and I actually made time for eachother this past friday night, and had an amazing date at Amari's in Sandwich, which by the way, hands down, best restaurant on cape in my opinion. It's an Italian place, so I automatically thought "pasta & sauce", and husband even wondered why I picked it (my tomatoe allergy). Oh no friend, this place kicks the crap out of Olive Garden, let me tell you. Amazing! Our appetizer was mushrooms stuffed with lobster& crab, bacon wrapped scallops & shrimp marinated in some kind of amazing sauce. Dinner was more than you could ever possibly eat, while it is a few bucks (plan on spending atleast $100 if you have an appetizer and adult beverage), it is totally worth it.

I started midnights for the winter, which is a nice break from the day time shift, I get to spend more time with my kids, and I can actually plan doctor's appointments on a day other than my only 2 days off. Hopefully I can get some schoolwork done at night so I can spend my days playing with my babies. I might even do the swimming lessons with MJ again at at the Sandwich highschool, which should help circumvent his energy since I haven't heard back from Boston in regards to his "behavioral" testing(ADHD).

So far so good, I'm hoping 2010 will be a productive year, and I'm going to continue to work on myself :)

It's That Time Of Year Again

2009-12-22T15:18:00.000-08:00

The ORIGINAL Fantasy Fudge Recipe From The Fluff Jar
(So Easy Even I Could Make It Without Burning Down The House)

3 Cups Sugar
2/3 Cup Evaporated Milk
1 & 1/2 stick of Margarine Or Butter
1 Tsp Vanilla
1 Package Of Chocolate Chips
7 oz Jar Of Fluff

Combine sugar, evaporated milk and margarine/butter in a heavy bottom sauce pan. Bring mixture to rolling boil, then turn down to medium heat and continue constantly stirring for 5 minutes.

Remove from heat and add the entire bag of chocolate chips, stir until blended (place pan back on the burner if it makes it easier to stir). Add in fluff & vanilla, continue stirring until blended. Pour into greased 13 X 9 pan (or smaller for thicker pieces).

Allow to set for atleast an hour.

1st Holiday Not Using Credit Cards

2009-12-17T08:54:00.000-08:00

As the holiday shopping extravaganza is drawing to a close I realized something. This is the very first holiday in my adult life, that I have not used a single credit card. While it caused some stress at the time of planning out my gift giving, now that everything is pretty much taken care of, I feel good knowing there isn't going to be a bill waiting at the end of the month. It also makes you really look at whats actually important, and that's not something you can find in a store .... according to Dr. Seuss :-D

Now A Messege From Our Sponsor

2009-11-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

In case anyone has noticed, and was wondering why I haven't been my smart mouthed self in a while, I figured I'd offer an explanation. For whatever reason, and I'm guessing it has to do with some kind of hormonal/chemical change from having Mya, my body's been basically falling apart. I have literally no memory, I'm irritable, depressed, anxious, paranoid, my hair is falling out, and I'm spacing out. Mya's almost 6 months now, and it's a little late for the onset of post par tum depression. I'm getting my thyroid check (I have almost all of the symptoms of hypothyroidism), and I'm waiting to get a appointment with a neurologist to get tested for absence/petit mal seizures. About 2 weeks ago apparently I drove to walmart to meet Michael and he said that I apparently "spaced out" when he was trying to talk to me, I looked right through him and was completely confused. I don't even remember driving there or how I got home. That's probably not good. I'll be talking mid sentence and just stop and stare off for a few seconds, and not remember doing it. Sometimes I get confused after, sometimes not. My choking episodes are also much worse. I've been choking more frequently, sometimes on a daily basis, which is followed by an overproduction of mucus, which makes it even harder to swallow. My grandmother is on medication for hypothyroid, and she has trouble swallowing as well, and apparently hypothyroidism can be triggered by pregnancy bc for whatever reason your body's immune system starts attacking your thyroid. My mother also has lupus which is an autoimmune disorder, and had epilepsy, so there is a strong probability that I may have either or possibly both. I would love just to figure out what the hell is going on and stop playing the guessing game. I've been teaching MJ how to dial 9-1-1 because mommy chokes all the time, sometimes I won't even eat if I'm alone with the kids because I'm afraid of choking. The gastroenterologist thought that this choking was a form of allergic esophagitis, and prescribed an maintenance inhaler which has done nothing. So if I seem "off" at work or have the mental capacity of Paula Abdul, that would be why.

What Are You Thankful For

2009-11-26T07:16:00.000-08:00

Main Entry: grateful
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: appreciative
Synonyms:
beholden, gratified, indebted, obliged, pleased, thankful
Notes: grateful means feeling or showing gratitude or feeling thankful; gratified means having received what was desired; gratuitous means costing nothing or free - unnecessary or unwarranted - without cause

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope everyone is enjoying their turkey day, mine will be spent at work, but I will be enjoying the traditional food coma at my mom's house after work. This really has been the month from hell, pushing me to the brink mentally,emotionally, physically and financially. After everything that's happened this past month it gives today that much more meaning, beyond the football games and Macy's Holiday parade. Even though I am at work today while most are enjoying their turkey dinner's at home, and I am missing Mya's 1st Thanksgiving, I am thankful I have a job, a GREAT job with great benefits and co workers, when many do not have one. I'm missing out on time with my two precious babies, but they are healthy and having fun with their family. I have an amazing husband who is my best friend, and feel blessed to have him when many are alone or have less than loving significant others. I actually have begun attending church, and the members are very nice and seem to be non judgemental, which is nice when you feel like the whole world is judgeing you. I wish there were less drama and stress in some areas, but I can not control or fix what others do. Sometimes people make very poor decisions that are very hurtful to people who they are supposed to treat with love and respect, but the only thing you can do is take that situation for face value so you can have peace in your life. You can only be responsible for your own actions. I'm working on finding more peace, and letting go of stress. For that I am also thankful :)

Diaper Drive

2009-11-17T10:08:00.000-08:00

Through the generous approval of my higher ups, the diaper drive to benefit A Baby Center of Hyannis, is now officially up and running at Mashpee PD. I am particularly proud of this drive because it directly benefits our community, there are many charities out there that you will not be able to see how your generosity affects the recipients. The diaper drive will benefit families living on the Cape and Islands who fall under the federal government guidelines for WIC. According to A Baby Center's website :http://www.ababycenter.org/abc/bc/index.html, there is a need of around 15,000 diapers PER MONTH needed to accomodate the babies living in our area.

A Baby Center's
Wish List

Diapers (Sizes Newborn to 6)
Pull-Ups (Sizes 2T-4T)
Baby Wipes
Baby Wash (Head to Toe)
Diaper Rash Cream
Wash Cloths
Infant Towels (Hooded)
Pacifiers
Bedding, Crib sheets and pads
Cribs (No more than 4 years old)
New Crib Mattresses
Children’s Clothing (sizes newborn to 4)
Toddler shoes and socks
Toddler Pajamas
Single and Double Strollers
High Chairs
Potty Seats
Formula (dry and liquid)

Volunteering for Birthday Wishes has really opened up my eyes to all the families and children in need that live among us, and I am so excited about this diaper drive, now I continue on to working with the other two sources I had contacted previously. *Wish me luck*

Mashpee 5k, Halloween & Going Back To School ..... OH MY!!!!!

2009-11-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

Time has flown by, I can't believe Halloween has come and gone, and my baby girl is five months old. I successfully completed the Mashpee Firefighters 5K race to benefit the one, the only, Steve Bold. My "race" time was not much better than when I participated last year when I was about 10 minutes pregnant, but I had a good time, so that's really all I care about. That and I managed not to be scraped off of the pavement by rescue, that's always a bonus. My best friend Sara came with me, and we swapped off pushing the jogging stroller with little miss Mya in it, next time it might be a good idea fir the two asthmatics to being atleast one rescue inhalor ..... After the 5k I went to my parent's to get Michael Jr ready for trick or treating. I was so pumped about his halloween costume that I scored from Plush & Plunder Vintage in Hyannis. I actually spent more on his face paint than the actual costume. Thankfully my mom came trick or treating with us, that would've been interesting to be chasing around a 3 1/2 year old with the double stroller ... up hill both ways ... seriously, have you been in the neighborhood of durfee ln/eli ln ?! Literally uphill both ways. After trick or treating we visited my friend Amy Beth's mom's home on Roberta Jean in East Fal, these people make Halloween their profession for the month of October, no joke. They convert their back yard into the "Haunted Acre Wood", complete with 3-D maze, fog, vortex and creepy dead people jumping out at you.

After a weekend of festivities I spent the last day of my 3 day weekend being productive. I must've blacked out yesterday because somehow I managed to re enroll into Cape Cod Community College (aka the concrete jungle) after a six year hiatus. After speaking to an advisor I found out that I have half of an associates in Criminal Justice completed, 33 more credits and I can be the proud owner of a shiny new associates degree. I wish it didn't take me this long to figure things out, but it has to be done, I'd like to have some sort of degree by the time I'm 30. I'm still trying to balance out finances, work, and child care, so we'll see what happens. Fingers crossed.

Taking Responsibilty For Irresponsiblity

2009-10-08T21:56:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I am horrible with money. I do not know why, but as soon as I receive money I feel the need to spend it, like it's physically impossible for me to hold on to cash. I really don't have a good excuse for my financial predicament. Like many in my generation, I was never really taught financial responsibility, or how to budget. Growing up we were comfortably middle class, my mother stayed home with us, and took my dad's paycheck to pay bills and gave him an allowance. This is because, like me, my father is horrible with money. The one time my father was allowed to do the grocery shopping he spent over $200, came home with 3 different types of oreo's, and when my infuriated mother inquired about coupons my father's response was "what coupons"?. So yeah financial A.D.D. is apparently genetic.

Like many kids, I got every store credit card I could when I turned 18, and a capitol one card, bc they'll give anyone a card, well at least they did 8 years ago. So by the time I was 20 yrs old I had racked up $10,000 worth of credit card debt on everything from victoria's secret, clothes, gas, you name it. With the help of my mom who co signed, I took out a personal loan from Rockland trust and paid off my credit card debt. So at 20 I had a loan payment of almost $300 a month and a brand new car payment along with car insurance. I had a good job as an EMT with overtime from time to time, so I wasn't overly stressed at that point.

I met michael not long after, we became engaged and he moved in with me at my parents house when I was 21. While planning our wedding, I became pregnant with Michael Jr when I was 22, and not only was I scared shitless of my parents, but there physically was no room for the 2 of us and a baby. So we had to move, which costs $$. I was staying a float financially until then, but between moving costs and having to live off of credit cards when I got hurt at work while I was pregnant and could not work, my credit card debt that was once paid off sky rocketed to $15,000. I was so incredibly lucky to have the family support I did because we would've never survived. My mother & uncle would take turns helping with the nearly $400 a month car payment on the gas guzzler blazer and accompanying insurance, and we were always given things for MJ. Maybe that was part of the problem looking back.

So after moving back to the cape, I (once again) got a loan to pay off the new credit card debt. I felt ashamed and defeated. My parents were gracious enough to get a home equity loan in order for me to get the new loan, for I have no assets for colladeral. So then I had 2 loan payments, a truck payment, and insurance. Credit Card debt free for a second time.

But of course, due to my 2 loans and bills, I had no money for anything. I buried my head in the sand, and then like an ass started charging again. I had promised my parents I wouldn't charge again after they had taken out the loan for me. I think that the big problem is that the debt wasn't something tangeble for me, it was surreal. My family had always bailed me out, and I had never ever really had a "want" for something, so I've never (until now) gone without. Growing up I was never taught how to budget, and when I got credit cards in my own name my mother just took money from me and paid the bills. In school they don't teach you how to budget, or how real world expenses work, they teach you (or atleast try to) how to balance a check book. That's it.

Now $32,000 in credit card debt alone I have nothing to show for it. My friends are buying their own homes, have their own apartments, and I have to live with my grandfather bc we cannot afford to live on our own due to my debt. It's embarassing and infuriating bc it took me this long to get a grip. We owe my grandfather almost $800 in utilities, and it kills me. I hate owing money I feel like such an ass. It scares me to know that we are dependant on him right now bc we have no where to go.

I finally buckeled down and stopped crying, and got honest with myself and my husband. I briefy entertained the idea of settling my debt, but after tlaking with a company and doing research, I know that I would not be able to sleep at night and be even more stressed not paying my creditors. Michael had found American Consumer Credit Counseling (http://www.consumercredit.com)which not only sets up a debt management plan with you but teaches you the skills you need for budgeting. I joined the program and the counciler helped me set up a household budget that works for me, and I will send them a set amount every month that they will disperse the payments to the credit cards as agreed. The counciler was able to get my apr's down to almost nothing, in once instance getting my sears MC from 20.40 % down to 2 %. With this debt managment plan I will be debt free in 4 1/2 years or less, with my credit intact. As apposed to the debt settlement where I don't pay the creditors, and while I may be debt free in 3-4 years, I will have ruined my credit and run the risk of being sued, not to mention the collection calls.As part of the agreement I have to cancel my credit cards. It is empowering and terrifying at the same time. My crutch is being taken away from me, cold turkey. I find it disheartening that people are more sympathetic when addressing drug or alcohol addiction as apposed to shopping or credit card addictions, maybe people see shopping as something that is more easily controlled, and when you start to drown in debt often the response is "well its your own damn fault, no one MADE you go shopping". No one made alcoholics pick up the bottle, but they did. I'm not making excuses for my behaviors or addictions, I'm just facing the facts and trying to understand the problem in order to manage it and get my life back.

It breaks my heart to know that my kids miss out on things because of my debt, we couldn't afford MJ's preschool bc of my debt, but now I'm determined to fix this. I also am going to get help, bc I've come to the realization that I am addicted to charging/shopping just like a drug addict is addicted to drugs. When I go shopping, and I go up to the register, its instant buyer's remorse, but at the same time I was getting the euphoric feeling of getting whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, regardless of if I could actually afford it or not. I would just pull things off the shelves, and have a instant sick feeling in the pit of my stomache, I would make up some kind of lie in my head to justify it "Well I already have a balance anyways". Even the physical feeling of swiping the credit card is addicting to me. I come from a line of alcoholic lineage, I briefly had a drinking binge the summer I was 19, but never really became addicted, and I never got into the drug scene. Shopping and charging my credit cards is my drug of choice. I have nothing to show for all my debt. I don't have a closet full of clothes, or a box full of jewlery. I had entered the endless cycle of working to pay the bills, not having enough money for necessities because of the credit card debt, and then bc of that having to use the credit cards in order to put gas in my car. I'm not living like this anymore, I'm not hiding my debt anymore, I'm taking responsiblity and making damn sure I teach my kids what I never learned.

Birthday Wishes

2009-09-22T07:42:00.000-07:00

In my EBay adventures I happened across a great organization www.birthdaywishes.org. As a seller you have the ability to donate some or all of your profits to a organization of your choice, and I thought this was a great idea. I was looking specifically for a local group to benefit, and this is when I found Birthday Wishes. Birthday Wishes was founded in Newton,MA in November of 2002 by Lisa Vasiloff, Karen Yahara, and Carol Zwanger when the three women started volunteering at homeless shelters, and noticed that children's birthday's came and went without recognition. Birthday parties, something you & I take for granted and often grumble about having to plan, are a luxury to the homeless shelters and families that live there.

Having taught preschool, worked in after school programs, and run various birthday celebrations in the past, I've always enjoyed ambience of the celebration. It is my opinion that a birthday is part of your identity, and something that should be a staple in your childhood. You never really appreciate something as simple as a birthday cake and a song sung off key until you expierience situations were it doesn't exist. When you emmerse your self in that situation its something that hits you in the gut, and definatly pulls at your heart strings.

My first birthday party was tough, because as I arrived at the transition housing, it honestly looked like a crack motel, and couldn't believe that people, never mind children, lived here. It was one step above being homeless, between the very outdated appliances, the smell, and just over all atmosphere I was saddened to know that people lived like this. Its easy to judge families in that situation. I'll be honest, when I saw a new mom holding a baby my daughters age, in nothing but a jean jacket and diaper on that cold September night, I was pissed and heart broken at the same time. I was pissed because I was thinking to myself "why is the baby out here dressed like that!" and heart broken because I knew that she probably couldn't help her situation and I could never imagine bringing my family up that way, even though she could be you or I in a heart beat.

It really is an amazing feeling to watch these kids get excited over gifts, because they truly appreciated everything given to them. These kids were beside themselves over things like pajama's, back packs and lunch boxes, items some kids would turn their nose up at. For the first birthday party we were able to get a moonwalk donated, and the kids went bats for it. They bounced until it got dark and the mosquitos came out to feed, and came in to the communal kitchen for cake and gifts. The second party I volunteered at was in the Angel House in Hyannis. The Angel House is a shelter that helps reunite families recovering from substance abuse and traumas of homelessness. We were fortuneate to have a DJ donate his services, he played all kinds of games with the kids, provided a bubble machiene and dance instruction.The electric slide was painful for me, hillarious to them. After we were all successfully covered in bubble soap, feasted on my mosquitos and handed out prizes from the limbo contest, we made our way into the main house for the long awaited cake and gifts. After cleaning up the cake plates, spilled capri suns and melted hoodsie cups, one of the birthday boys came up and gave us a hug and a high five. His mom said he had the best day ever. It was totally worth the incessent scratching from bug bites that followed.

All the parents were so grateful, and were great to talk to. Many would probably be hard pressed to talk to these people, as human nature, forming an opinion about their situation. Naturally you want to ask "how did you get here?". I don't think many of them know, nor do I, and a lot of times people in this situation do not know how to help themselves. Thankfully, there are people out there who do, and I feel priveledged help out in something as simple as giving their child a birthday party.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

How To Create The Worst Possible Listing On EBay

2009-09-03T11:19:00.000-07:00

After surfing EBay for the first time in months, I've come across some questionable listings, many are well meaning but clueless sellers. I came across this post on EBay and thought it was hillarious (written by seller suityourselfinternational):

HOW TO WRITE THE WORST AUCTION LISTING ON EBAY

1. Confuse the bidders at every opportunity.

2. Decide what you've got to sell. But forget about it when you create your listing.
FOR EXAMPLE, when selling a sweater, forget what color it is and just make up a color instead,
and never remember to include measurements like bust size and length or fabric content for concerned allergic people.

3. Take a photo of your item, but be sure there are lots of other distracting things in the picture too.

4. Post a photo of only part of your item in your listing, so bidders have to bid sight unseen, and even
better yet, post a picture in your listing of something else entirely, out of focus. Like your dog.
OR DON'T USE ANY PHOTOS AT ALL.

5. Make sure the gallery photo you use contains an image that bears no relationship whatsoever to what you're selling.

6. Post your gallery picture so your item is pictured on its side and not upright. Better yet, take your picture
of the item with the item upside down. Even better, hide the item under the sofa and just show the sofa in the picture.
You can point to the hidden item with big yellow arrows.

7. For the auction's title, don't describe the item -- people might find it! Never state what the item it or what size or color it is.
Keep 'em guessing.

8. For the description of your item, tell everybody you're on vacation and don't know when you'll return.
But you'll ship when you get back.

9. OR for the description of your item,
try telling them about your recent eBay purchases instead, or a bit of your life's story; for example, go into
great detail about why you are being forced to sell this wonderful thingy in the first place. BUT NEVER SAY WHAT IT IS THAT YOU'RE
SELLING AND NEVER GIVE AWAY ANY DETAILS ABOUT IT. NEVER POINT OUT FLAWS.

10. DO NOT USE CORRECT ENGLISH SPELLING OR PUNCTUATION. Tell buyers to
SNED NO NEMOY until you bill them.

11. Better yet, forget the item description entirely and just take up two full pages with your Terms Of Sale, family photos,
and ads for other items in your eBay store, not in correct English remember.

12. If you have to say what size something is, be sure to indicate only those measurements for the opposite sex of the item you're selling.
For example, when selling a sweater, women want the chest measurement underarm to underam across the back,
but men want the shoulder seam measurement along the top of the garment.

13. Overcharge outrageously for shipping. Better yet, state PICKUP ONLY with only a Puerto Rico P.O. Box for an address.

14. Run the listing lots of times, add counters every time, and never edit them so bidders can see
you're run the listing for months on end with nobody in the least bit interested in all that time.

15. Add an appendix to your listing, several times---and make sure it has nothing to do with the listing. Adding a CHAIN LETTER
at the bottom of your listing is sure to get buyers (and eBay's) attention.

16. Be sure to use an auction listing service that blocks buyers from successfully clicking on any of the links in your listing.

17. Do NOT accept PayPal. Do NOT accept Money Orders or Checks. Tell buyers you want your money sent to you at your PO BOX address
via the US Postal service in a plain brown wrapper with NO RETURN ADDRESS and inside the envelope,
you want NO information as to what the buyer bought or what the money is for. Keep 'em guessing!

18. If you feel you just have to reply to a customer email inquiry about your item,
be sure to point out to the customer how their question was rude and / or stupid and how wrong they were
to ask it of you and your item in the first place. Tell them you are trying to educate them, not be insulting, and include a little smiley face at the end.

19. If a customer asks you for measurements or some basic fact you forgot to put in, or didn't care about,
just tell them you can't measure, or don't know how to measure, or don't have a tape measure, or are away from your desk (and your item)
and will get back to them whenever you and the item are closer together.

20. TRY TO NEVER EVER REPLY TO CUSTOMER EMAIL INQUIRIES. Someone may actually buy something from you!

21. If somebody does buy from you, DO NOT SEND THEM AN INVOICE. If they pay you anyway, DO NOT RESPOND.
If they write you after 2 or 3 weeks asking for their stuff, reply with a sob story and say you've already shipped it, but just yesterday.
Say you shipped it Friday if they write you over a weekend.

22. When you finally do get around to shipping, DO NOT SHIP THEM WHAT THEY THINK THEY BOUGHT!! Just ship them something
else that you don't want. And remind them there are NO returns and NO exhanges.

Good Luck!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personally I have yet to come across anything truly horrific, but I have seen poor photography skills, or my personal pet peeve, taking only one photo of one big pile of un folded clothes .... seriously. As enticing as that is, I'm going to have to pass on the biding of the contents of your laundry basket. And the selling of underwear. Ick. I don't care if it was "only worn once". There is a line of decency you don't cross. Unless the skiives are in a sealed package don't bother.

I love how some people think that they can reel people in with a collection of clothes from 1992 and sell them at full price. Um no. And don't be sneaky with ridonkulous shipping charges. And is UPS really necessary for a small lot of kids clothes? I personally hate UPS bc they are so damned expensive, unless you're shipping something like furniture or a zoo animal, you don't really need it, they suck.

And for the love of god, don't sell stuff that your kid projectile puked on. I say this bc someone actually sent me a sweater with dried chunky puke on it. Tasty.

Completely and Utterly Deflated

2009-08-21T15:53:00.000-07:00

I can't believe this happened to me today and trust me when I say I have NEVER been treated like this in my life. I attempted to make an appointment with my mother's Rhuematolgist the other day in order to be tested for Ehlers Danlose Syndrome, however it is that particular OFFICE's policy to require a referal regardless of your insurance carrier. Fine. So I made an appointment over at my General Practitioner's in order to get the referal. I had seen this particular Dr a few times in the past for refill's so I wasn't a complete stranger to him. He asked what I needed a referal for, and I said Ehlers Danlos. Without even examining me, or looking at my past medical or my family's past medical history he proclaimed I didn't have it. He said because my skin wasn't stretchy and that I've never had a complete dislocation of my joints that I didn't need to be tested. Well ass face if you knew anything about EDS you'd know that there are 6 different types and not all of them have the same markers.

I started to cry.

He says that in relation to my choking episodes and joint pain, and judging from my crying it must be anxiety causing all my problems. No asshole, I'm crying because you just shit on me.

I had hit my breaking point today because I choked AGAIN at work, and kept screwing up at simple tasks because I can't function with out food in my belly. And there's no food in my belly because everytime I eat I either choke, it gets stuck or is proceeded by a volcanic eruption of stomach acid. I had hopes that Dr Asshole would be able to give me the referall I needed but instead was in so many words told that I'm crazy, don't know what I'm talking about, and stop looking at things on the internet. Then he proceeded to give me Lexapro, a fucking psyche med. Then told me he was gonna test me for Lyme's disease. Oh yeah he also asked me if I had OCD, basically said that my Ear Nose & Throat dr didn't know what he was talking about (I had a endoscopy done) and inferred that my husband is lazy (as in if I had more help maybe my joints wouldnt hurt so much).

I'm not some fruit who cruises the internet looking for a disorder to have, or a drug seeker. I don't want meds, I don't want a disease, I just want to be able to fucking eat and function like a normal human being. I'm tired of almost choking to death everytime I eat, I'm tired of not being able to pick up my kids, falling down when I walk, getting stuck getting up out of a chair or out of a car. I'm tired of my joints popping in and out of place multiple times a day.

If I do indeed have Ehlers Danlos it can make a difference in how this whole choking episode is handeled. Medication isn't going to work if I have EDS. And so far the 3 I've tried haven't worked. I have almost all the markers for Classical and Hypermobility EDS, and my mother has 2 disorders related to EDS, and EDS is a inherited disorder with the exception of 1 form.

I've been teaching MJ how to dial 911 in the event mommy needs help due to my choking, and now I'm at the point were I just won't eat when I'm home alone with the kids. I really can't take this any more it's ruining me. I have a barium swallow test scheduled for monday if I don't break down and go to the ER before hand. WTF Seriously.

Barium Swallow Test, EDS, and Other Adventures In GERD

2009-08-19T07:16:00.000-07:00

Oh the joys of acid reflux. Previously associated with the feeling of acid shooting up my throat like a volcanic eruption, GERD apparently is the cause of my choking episodes. My ear, nose & throat specialist performed an endoscopy and found my throat burnt and swollen in addition to being structurally small. I've pretty much had a life long problem of these choking fits, and sometimes just having food sit in my throat, with very little to no pain from acid reflux. So I've been going through different medication trials since the endoscopy and have a barium swallow test scheduled. Now in addition to my new found membership of the GERD club I've also had a life long issue with loose joints, subluxations or incomplete dislocations of various joints. Now what does loose joints have to do with GERD.... I came across something called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS) which is a genetic disorder of the collagen.

"Individuals with EDS have a defect in their connective tissue, the tissue that provides support to many body parts such as the skin, muscles and ligaments. The fragile skin and unstable joints found in EDS are the result of faulty collagen. Collagen is a protein, which acts as a "glue" in the body, adding strength and elasticity to connective tissue.

Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) is a heterogeneous group of heritable connective tissue disorders, characterized by articular (joint) hypermobility, skin extensibility and tissue fragility. There are six major types of EDS. The different types of EDS are classified according to their manifestations of signs and symptoms. Each type of EDS is a distinct disorder that "runs true" in a family. This means that an individual with Vascular Type EDS will not have a child with Classical Type EDS.
"

All of my oddities might have a name, which well it really proves to resolve nothing as there is no cure, it is nice to know that there is a reason behind them, everything from my mitral proplapse,GERD, abnormal scar healing, easy bruising, ortho pedic and cardiac problems and poor circulation. I have to get a referral to a rhuematologist in order to get the proper testing for Ehlers Danlos, and if indeed that is the cause to my multiple oddities there may be surgery needed to correct the incompent esophageal sphincter, and special precautions needed for any other surgical procedures.

The moral of the story kids is to be your own advocate. I look forward to not living in fear of eating :)

Maybe Just A "Little" Colic

2009-08-12T07:07:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if it's possible for a baby to be a little colicky, but I'm trying to figure out why it is princess cries everynight around dinner time for atleast an hour. And by "cry" I mean scream unconsolibly complete with bright red face, real tears and clenched fists. We've tried everything to help her from rocking, burping, rubbing her belly, giving her a tub, but nothing helps, she won't even take her binky. The Mayo Clinic defines colic as:

"If your baby cries about the same time each day and nothing you do seems to offer comfort, your baby may have colic. Colic is often defined as crying more than three hours a day, three days a week for more than three weeks in an otherwise well-fed, healthy baby.
Fussing and crying are normal for infants, and a fussy baby doesn't necessarily have colic. In an otherwise healthy, well-fed baby, signs of colic include:

* Predictable crying episodes. A baby who has colic often cries about the same time every day, usually in the late afternoon or evening. Colic episodes may last from a few minutes to three hours or more on any given day. The crying usually begins suddenly and for no clear reason. Your baby may have a bowel movement or pass gas near the end of the colic episode.
* Intense or inconsolable crying. Colic crying is intense and often high pitched. Your baby's face may flush, and he or she is extremely difficult — if not impossible — to comfort.
* Posture changes. Curled up legs, clenched fists and tensed abdominal muscles are common during colic episodes.

Colic affects as many as 25 percent of babies. Colic usually starts a few weeks after birth and often improves by age 3 months. Although a few babies struggle with colic for months longer, colic ends by age 9 months in 90 percent of cases. "

We switched her formula to Similac Sensitive Formula which is lactose free to improve gassiness & fussiness, we use Dr. Brown's bottles which are made to reduce gas as well as use the Mylicon infant gas drops. She just started fussing at night within the past 2 weeks, she hasn't always done this. She started fussing while she was eating after about 4 weeks so thats when we switched formula which has helped a lot. She also doesn't scream for 3 hours at a time, and sleeps really well at night. So I'm really not sure. Princess is a lot needier than MJ was, so maybe that's just the nature of the beast?

Tuck & Roll

2009-06-23T11:16:00.000-07:00

Long time no talky I know. As most of you are aware my absence is due to little miss Mya Renee pulling a fast one and arriving a week early, which is all fine and good with me because I literally felt like I was going to explode. I worked my last full shift saturday May 30th, fully expecting to work until June 4th, but Mya had decided different. I had an hour of contractions on Sunday May 31st, then they came to a hault, which was about par for the course. The next day monday the 1st princess decided to tuck & roll since my labour was under 10 hours start to finish, which is much better than the 17 1/2 I was in labour for with little man. I had a great VBAC expierience at Jordan, my nurse Glenda was the equivalant to Nurse Ratchet, which was fine with me, she was hilarious though. Completely no nonsense, had her scrubs hiked up to her chest and had been a nurse since the creation of time, no fluff, she told me how it was and yes, "it does suck". She literally was in the room the whole time with the exeception of her going to have a quick dinner, and gave instructions to Michael and Sara. This was a far cry from my 1st expierience where they just left you to suffer alone for hours and never told you what was going on. Baby girl is great, she had some usual newborn stuff like baby acne, thrush and blocked tear ducts, but that has cleared up. Little Michael is getting use to his new baby sister, and tries to feed her his corn puffs in the morning .... atleast he's trying to share .... The sleep thing, or there lack of kinda sucks, especially when little man decides at 2am that he "can't sleep", but I have a lot of help, and Michael is a awesome husband and daddy and gives me a lot of breaks so I can take a nap and what not. It's a whole new world getting use to having 2 kids, one was so much easier, but I suppose it'll get easier once she starts sleeping through the night. Now if I can get through the terrible 3's with little man .... I swear to god if I hear the word "no" or the phrase "I don't want to" one more time .... *sighs*

Surviving Memorial Day Weekend

2009-05-26T06:35:00.000-07:00

Even though this past Memorial Day weekend was full of false labor and iffy weather, we managed to make the best of it. Thursday I left work early with what I was sure was a sign little miss Mya was on her way, but it was just the beginning of her taunting me for the weekend, which seems to be the on going theme for the remainder of the pregnancy. Friday my sister in law and her boyfriend came by for a cook out, and we busted out the slip n slide, which turned into little man collecting the water in a bucket and dumping it on everyone as well as running around giving everyone cold, wet hugs. Saturday and sunday we managed to squeeze in some bike path & playground time before the weather went south. Monday was the best day out of the weekend, my 38 week marker :-) We woke up bright and early to get ready to go to down town Falmouth to watch the parade and play at the Mullen Hall playground. The turn out for the parade wasn't as big last year, and the sudden heat wave had people dropping like flies, literally. It's always nice to see my parents in the parade with the Brian Boru Pipe Band, but I think this may have been their last, if not one of the last appearances they'll be making. My mom is going to have to give up drumming bc of carpal tunnel & rhumatoid arthritis. Sheldon's side bag piping job is really taking off, and apparently the attendance and practice habits of other band members has been lack luster which is really frustrating for someone like my dad who puts everything into it. Post parade we made more time for slip & slide of course, I think one of the best parts of being a parent is being able to play again. Even though for me it was less slipping & sliding and more waddling and sitting in cold hose water ... hehehehe.

After freezing my round self I went out for iced coffee and gelato with one of my best girlfriends, and gossiped the afternoon away. Upon returning to her house around 4:30 her "little" brother Joe was in the kitchen with his girl "she's just a friend" and their parents making things for the grill. Now Joe will be 14 this August, but to me he'll always be 3, I remember when he was born, BEFORE he was born even. There's 12 years difference between my friend and her brother, as her mom had thought she was going through early menopause when she became pregnant with Joe. I was even there at their dinner table when she announced she was pregnant with him. Anyways, everytime I see little Joe I feel older and older, he has the teen aged swagger, and the teen aged not quite a man but not a little boy voice, he even has a teen gweedo 'stache ... ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I'm told he's on his 2nd girlfriend. I was talking to my friend outside, and we were all "Do you remember what WE were doing when we were 14?!" OH.MY.GOD. ew ew ew ew ew. And thus the cycle of life continues. And I feel old.

36 weeks, Mother's Day & Martha's Vineyard

2009-05-12T06:58:00.000-07:00

All in one day no less. I'm finally coming around the bend of the end of the 3rd trimester. Little miss Mya is already making more progress than her big brother did, so hopefully she'll be here sooner than later. The nursery is more or less finished, I'm just waiting for the last few decorative things to come in. The hospital bags are packed, and we'll be installing the car seats tonight. Some days are better than others, I had to break down and freeze my membership at the gym, it was becoming more of a chore than anything else to drag myself there, and it was at about the frequency of once a week, which is really a waste since I prepaid the whole year. However I'm still trying to do my part with the prenatal yoga card deck I have at home, plus I have free weights and walk with little man. *sighs*

My mother's day was spactacular. I felt kinda bad leaving husband & little man at home, but I don't remember the last time my mom & I did something on our own.So we took the ferry from woodshole into vineyard haven, and spent the day walking around the shops, trespassing on people's lawn's to take picture's in front of their (no doubt) summer homes, and doing the tourist thing. After pillaging Murdick's Fudge in vineyard haven we took the bus over to oak bluffs to see the gingerbread houses and the flying carousel and have icecream. The only thing I didn't get to do, which I totally would have if I wasn't spherical, was ride the carousel, I just envisioned myself teetering over the side of the poor ancient horse for an epic fail , while trying to catch the brass ring.

Bottom Of The Barrel

2009-05-02T07:02:00.000-07:00

Here's my take on the "Jon & Kate" gossip that's currently floating around. Jon doesn't belong going out alone with a "female friend" at god knows what hour to a bar located hours away. It's just not appropriate for married folks to be out corrowsing alone with friends of the opposite sex in that atmosphere. Now I'm not opposed to people having friends of the opposite sex, I have quite a few myself, but you'd never see myself or husband out at 2 am alone with them, it's just setting your self up to look bad if nothing else. It's one thing to go out as a couple, or with other people, but generally two people out alone, in that atmosphere, in my eyes resembles a date. Now granted for those who've seen the show, the majority are not impressed with Kate's treatment of her husband, often referring to her as a "shrew". But that does not give Jon the pass to be drinking with college girls, and going out to bars with "female friends". Nor do I think it's particularly helpful for Kate to be across the country promoting her new book when her marriage is in trouble. Here's what Jon had to say about this situation:(From Yahoo.com news)

"Like most people, I have male and female friends, and I'm not going to end my friendships just because I'm on TV," the dad of 8 tells Extra. "However, being out with them late at night showed poor judgment on my part.....What makes me sick is that my careless behavior has put my family in this uncomfortable position," he continues..."My family is the most important thing in my life and it kills me that these allegations have hurt them."

No you shouldn't end friendships just bc you're on tv, but you should know what's appropriate and not appropriate behavior for a husband (or wife if the situation was reversed). I feel bad for the children in this situation, their parents are clearly having marriage problems, and it's displayed as national news for everyone to see, including their friends and other family members.

Next item up for the trash can: Maddy McCann's disappearance from her Portugal hotel room. Her parents fault, absolutely. I'm sorry, but who leaves their small children unattended, even if they are asleep, while on vacation?!?!? In a foreign country no less. These people are smart enough to be doctors, but lack the common sense needed for parenting? It's one thing to have your child asleep in your home, and you be in the house somewhere. But to leave your 4 year old and younger siblings while you go have dinner at your resort? I don't care how "close" you are, you don't do it. A quote from CBSnews.com:

"Without any clues confirming what happened to her, a British former detective who’s followed the case tells Roth probability points to just one conclusion.

“Within three hours,” says Mark Williams-Thomas, “74 percent of children abducted by strangers are dead, and within the first 24 hours, it’s 91 percent. So, statistically, it tells you that the chances are she’s dead, and I believe she probably is.”

And unfourtunatly this is probably the case. Apparently having dinner was more important to these people than the safety of their children. It's called room service.

Next in line: The Miss California gay marriage response. Frankly I don't think the question should've been asked, nor do I think that Perez Hilton was a appropriate canidate for a judge in the contest. He is a widely known controversial celeb-blogger, whom is openly gay. So for him to be completely un biased in the response to such question is a far stretch I'd say. I have the feeling that the pagent deliberatly set out to obtain a controversial judge in order to get more viewers. Here is Hilton's question:(from http://usconservatives.about.com)

"Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriages," Hilton asked. "Do you think other states should follow suit? Why or why not?"

Now, I have gay friends, and am of the opinion that EVERYONE should have the right to legally marriage, because I feel that telling someone you may not marry your significant other based on gender is the equvilant to not allowing marriage based on race.It's ridiculous. Even so, I feel that while claiming that she believes that heterosexual marriage is "biblically correct" in a clearly un biblical vanity pagent is contridictory, she made an articulate, non derrogatory statement of her opinion, which is what she is supposed to do. Now she is being threatened with the stripping of her crown because she excerized her 1st amendment right of free speech.

However Miss California is getting on her soap box as a spokesperson for the National Organization for Marriage (NOM).She also reminded the nation at a press conference that her contemptibly ill-informed comments at the Miss America contest was "not about being politically correct, but about being 'Biblically correct.' About as biblically correct as those fake boobs and capped teeth? I'm under the impression that God "created" those mamary glands to feed newborns not fill out a bikini in a beauty pagant. Just a thought. I'm not a politcal person by anymeans, but if you're going to get on your biblical soapbox and address such a contraversal topic, you might want to make sure that you're not contradicting yourself.

And Now For Something You'll Really Like ...

2009-05-01T08:53:00.000-07:00

Last friday my friend Sara and I made our way to Babies R Us in Hyannis, aka "little Brockton by the sea" to navigate the aisles for my friend Tashina's baby shower gift. After about half an hour I left with the Boppy Pillow in hand, and we crossed the parkinglot to my designated "expectant mothers" parking spot, which I quite enjoy since the only other special parking in town is for handicapped or old people. Anyways, as I am the ADD queen I notice everything, and getting to their cars at the same time was a family of 3 (a mom, dad and a seven year old?) and another mom and her child of around the same age. As Sara and I opened my car door to get in we hear the mom from the party of 3 yell "YOU STUPID FAT WHORE!!!!!". Now the other mom was parked about 3 cars away and we were parked directly behind her across the street, so the 3 of us (Sara, myself and the other mom) looked around in confusion in who she was addressing, and discust (UM HELLO THERE'S CHILDREN AROUND INCLUDING YOUR OWN!!!!). Clearly we had missed something, Sara and I would've loved to have watched some kind of white trash scuffle in the baby store (this is Hyannis after all). But of course the big mouthed mom yelled this getting into her car, bc tough guys yell things as they run away in their purple ford escort ... I don't get it, and these same parents are going to wonder why in about five years their gonna have trouble with little Timmy. Maybe because he sees his parents act like pieces of trash every day ... just a thought.

Maternity Photos

2009-04-28T06:46:00.000-07:00

The following photos taken on 03/08/09 @ 27 weeks
by Zev Fisher Photography Boston,MA
Stylist Sara Pecce

Mystic, CT

2009-04-22T06:47:00.000-07:00

Apparently pregnancy ate my brain and I confused Mystic for Newport, so you can interchange the two locations accordingly on my previous posts bc I'm too lazy to fix it. We left the Cape sunday around lunch time, dropping little man off at my parents. Mj sprinted for his John Deere ride on tractor, so much for me thinking we'd have to peel him off of us. We stopped for lunch at the Tim Horton's on the RI/CT line. You know you're in Rhode Island when they play country music in restaurants/convience stores ... non stop. Tim Horton's is a cool little breakfast/lunch place that has good deals on combos, for the price of a drink/sandwich & side it's the equivelent of a starbucks coffee. We stayed at the Best Western in Mystic, which was nice, and we visited down town Mystic & the seaport. For dinner we went to The Steak Loft, which Michael had pain stakingly researched, it was our anniversary dinner and he wanted to make it all romantic. Apparently what was advertised online, and what it actually was, was two different things. Online it shows one dining room with candle lights and nice seating, etc. We were seated in the other dining room, between the table with the dad wearing a cut off t shirt with his arm pit hair flailing about, and the screaming toddler. Michael was mortified and disappointed, but I didn't mind, I missed our screaming toddler anyways. Plus I thoroughly enjoy people watching, maybe a little too much, but it amazes me that people don't realize what they look/or act like out in public. Besides, I thought to myself, it IS called the "Steak Loft" how romantic did he think it was gonna be ... any dining establishment with the word "Steak/Bar/Grill" you've gotta expect at least one honky sighting .... it's like Murphy's Law. But I digress. After dinner we went to Mohegan Sun Casino in Uncasville, CT which was about 20 minutes away. Last time we went they had the quarter machines where you carried around your winnings in a plastic cup. Not anymore. Much to our dismay they no longer utilize quarters, only bills, cards or tickets. WTF. That was half the fun. Between that and having to walk through the smoking section to get to the non smoking sections we called it quits after losing $60.00. We had fun shopping in the casino, and having Ben & Jerry's. If I'm gonna lose money I'd rather be shopping. After a good night's sleep (free of spongebob,a baby monitor) we finished up in the Olde Mistick Village, and headed home. We had a nice mini get away for our anniversary, and had as much fun as you can when you're 8 months pregnant.

Recap

2009-04-18T06:31:00.000-07:00

Tommorrow being our 1 year wedding anniversary, Michael and I are going on a little weekend getaway to Newport, so I will not be on a computer to post. A lot has happened in a year, and it's crazy how fast a year can go by, but how a 9 month pregnancy can feel like it drags on ... I remember how crazy the week before the wedding was, I planned & organized my husband's bachelor party, finished all the details from decorations, florist stuff, bridesmaid's luncheon, rehearsal dinner, etc. The wedding day was a whirlwind, and I think after the ceremony I saw my husband a grand total of 3 times, the 2 dances, and the 5 minutes I got to sit down and eat. The wedding day weather was absolutely perfect, unseasonably warm for cape cod, and no wind coming off of buzzards bay. I'm kind of sad that was a once in a lifetime expierience, bc I would like to have a wedding every year.

They say that the 1st year of marriage is supposed to be the hardest, but I haven't found that to be true. Michael and I were together for 4 1/2 years and had a baby before we got married, so maybe that helped? Between the trials of paramedic school, raising little man, working all kinds of crazy midnight shifts, and becoming pregnant again, I don't think we've really had the time to stew on things that most people fight over. Maybe we're just lucky. Maybe it's both.Tommorrow we will be spending the night in Newport, having grown up, non spongebob or tantrum filled night. We'll be enjoying the sights, stopping by Mohican Sun, and have a nice dinner.

After we return from our mini get away, we will finally be making the trip to Botello's to pick up paint & supplies for Mya's room, since her ETA is about 7 weeks or less. I could've made the baby blue guest room work with her lady bug theme, but the 20 years of sun fade on the walls showed me other wise. That's what I have a husband & brother for, have fun boys. We still have to put together her crib, her set of drawers, pick up the changing table from my sister in law, wash all her newborn clothes,clean out our cars, install the baby seat and put together the new stroller. Holy crap that's a lot of stuff. I forgot how much stuff babies use. Oh and I still have to pack my (our) bag for the hospital, and of course nest, which entails top to bottom scouring of the entire house. Which should be much easier once the dog is gone. Oh yes, destructo has a perspective new owner.Suckers.Plus the dog humps things, and I just can't deal with that. Anyways, I digress.

Useless Baby Items

2009-04-15T08:02:00.001-07:00

Today I was browsing my friend T's baby registry for her upcoming baby shower, and forgot how useless some of these items these companies hawk to new parents are. I'm guilty too, I registered for things like a bottle warmer, but seriously, since when did babies need a spa? So I decided to go through the Babies R Us website and compile a top 10 lost of items that I think are completely useless, and just another way to suck the money out of poor unsuspecting parents to be. In no particular order:

1.
Diaper Genie $39.99: For the price of a couple packages of diapers you too can be the proud owner of this over priced, hard to use diaper trash can. And for an additional $6.99 you can buy the refill that holds 180 stinky diapers. Seriously people, save your self the money and aggrivation, go to Walmart and but one of those mini plastic trash can's for less than $10.00, and use the plastic grocery bags for the liner. Just don't be lazy, but the stink bombs outside immediately. I attempted to use a Diaper Genie one time, and you need a freakin degree in physics to operate one of those things. It's a mechanically operated diaper trash can people, get over it, it's not that fabulous.

2. Bottle Warmer $19.99-$59.99: Boil water in a pan or in a measuring cup and place said bottle into water. Seriously folks. Same difference.

3. Wipe Warmer $15.00-$30.00: You too can be the proud owner of dried up wipes and a pissed off baby when you attempt to use the dried up wipes. One of the most ridiculous inventions I've seen, think about it, you're not going to be transporting warmed up wipes when you go out, and our own t-p is not warmed up and we survived.

4.
Sound Sleeper $23.99: The Sound Sleeper by Dex Products provides soundscapes to soothe and relax you and your baby. Instantly turn your surroundings into a calming sea of tranquility. Choose from over 30 unique sounds including babbling brook and soothing rainfall. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I think they should make a sound machiene of realistic sounds that can help your child sleep through the sounds of REALITY, such as: Rush hour traffic, barking dog, lawn mower, weed wacker, obnoxious neighbors cackeling way to loud ....

5. Dreft Laundry Detergent $11.99 for 67 oz or 40 loads: That's pretty much the equivalant of 3 or 4 days of laundry with a new born. Save yourself the money and buy any hypo allergenic, non scented laundry detergent/fabric softener/dryer sheets. Same difference.

6. Summer Infant Soothing Spa and Shower $39.99: For parents wanting to give their baby the very best experience during bath time there's the Summer Infant Soothing Spa & Shower. Not only can you rinse your little one with clean, warm water with the motorized shower but your baby can experience their very own whirlpool bath. From birth and up the Summer Infant Soothing Spa & Shower has everything you need to bathe baby comfortably and safely.AND NOW BACK TO REALITY. I geuss when you're a new parent you dream up in your head what bathing your newborn is going to be like. It'll be so cute and sweet, the baby will be immersed in bubbles and will be smiling away as you gently wash his or her hair and tiny baby feet .... or if the baby was anything like my son, scream bloody murder, followed by a stream of pee that archs through the air, which means you have to empty the nice clean baby tub you just filled .... oh the joys of bathing a newborn ...

7. Pacifier prices vary: I'm sure some parents swear by these, but seriously, why would you pay money for your child to develop a bad habit? My son is a thumb sucker, but atleast his bad habit is free ... until it comes time for braces. But think about it, why would you pay for both a pacifier and braces? Nothing drives me more bat shit crazy than seeing 4,5,6, and yes I've seen them older 7 year olds in the store/mall/public function running around with binkies in their mouths. These are the same people that I see strapping their perfectly mobile 5 year old into an umbrella stroller. Seriously people wtf. Maybe I'm cynical, but as soon as I was able to walk my parents didn't allow me back into a stroller.

8.Itzbeen Baby Care Timer $24.99:The Itzbeen Baby Care Timer from Coast Innovations is a great help to every new parent! It is a multi-purpose tool designed to help you remember the basic details of baby-care. Itzbeen has four timers that count up with the touch of a button. These four buttons include: changing, feeding, napping & waking, and one extra that you can customize. Also, the Itzbeen includes a back clip so it's portable, a soft-glow nightlight, nursing reminder for the mother to remember which side the baby nursed from last, and a display backlight lets you read times in the dark. Itzbeen is a must have for every new parent to make those first few months more enjoyable! I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, but atleast for me it would be one more gadget that would aggrivate me, I would probably lose it, and it would end up in a yard sale. I managed to get by with my mommy instinct. I think that a lot of these companies like to make parents feel like they couldn't possibly get by on their own parenting skills, which come naturally (atleast for most of us).

9. Steam/Electric Sterilizer $16.99 -$89.99: Boiling water? Anyone? I may be a bad mommy, but I think I just washed the bottles in soap and water, and bleached the baby tub and toys when necessary.... and little man is healthy as any crazy 3 year old boy.

10.
Bebesounds NasalClear Nasal Aspirator $19.99: I think this may be one of my all time favorite of the most ridiculous baby products I've ever seen .... "Able to play 12 tunes to help distract your child while in use, the NasalClear Nasal Aspirator from BebeSounds quickly, easily, and safely clears your baby's stuffy nose and helps her or him to breath more freely. The aspirator also provides you with suction that is stronger than that of a traditional manual aspirator, yet gentle enough to use safely and comfortably on your newborn." A BOOGER SUCKER THAT PLAYS MUSIC?!?!?!?! I may have used the bulb syringe from the hospital a grand total of 3 times, and 3 times I had one pissed off baby. Turns out, shockingly, babies don't like things shoved up their nose.Go figure. So I seriously doubt whatever mindless drivel the booger sucker plays will distract the infant away from whatever is being shoved up its tiny nasal passages.

I must confess,while it is not a baby item, I am guilty of not only owning, but using, those baby harness/back pack/leash things. I bought the eddie bauer version that looks like a monkey that goes on like a back pack, except its really a harness .... with a leash .... I know I'm a loser, but in my defense my son is a lunatic, and refuses/is too big for a stroller and will run at the drop of a dime, and he refuses to hold hands. He's a nightmare in the mall, truly. I haven't used it in a while, but it did come in quite handy once he turned 2. I'll go hang my head in shame now, feel free to peg me with spit balls.

Happy Easter!

2009-04-14T13:55:00.001-07:00

Q & A

2009-04-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to share a little story about question & answer time from our baby class that we attended last monday. Now, I don't want you to think that I think that Michael & I are smarter than any of the other parents to be just because we've already had one child and we are both knowledgable in the medical field to a certain extent, but some things are just common sense. This class the RN was going over how the baby decends in the pelvis during the delivery, either occiput anterior (OA = the baby facing the mother's spine, easiest way for delivery) or occiput posterior (OP= the baby facing up, making delivery much more difficult). And during this discussion the RN had a model of a pelvis and a doll to be able to demonstrate what this process looked like, and obviously the pelvis model only was the basic bone structure, no muscles or ligaments since that would make it impossible to see the "baby" decend. Question & answer time.

New dad: "So is the baby gonna get it's face scratched up from the tail bone on the way out?"

RN: "Um No, there's muscles,tissue etc, that would prevent that from happening"

New dad: "Ohhhhhhhhhhh"

Michael and I just looked at eachother and tried not to burst out into laughter. Is this a real question right now? Seriously? And this guy's gonna be a parent.

Why Kids Should Come With Owner's Manuals

2009-04-04T06:30:00.000-07:00

I wish our children were born with owners manual in hand. Not the kind of owner's manual for common sense things like changing diapers, or feedings, but a manual of possible side effects of becoming a parent (such as becoming paranoid about every possible "symptom" said child may exhibit), and the bologne they pull to make you crazy. Now I say this because being an EMT for seven years and being married to a paramedic you's think I'd be immune to any type of alarmist thinking. WRONG.

For the past week or so little man has been pulling the "I'm sooooooooo thirsty" around bedtime, knowing full well we don't allow any drinks after tubby time as to avoid any "accidents". Just recently he's been demanding Orange Juice specifically. Now automatically I'm thinking "OH MY GOD JUVENILE DIABETES". My cousin was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes when he was three, and Michael's father has type 2 diabetes, but that's bc he doesn't take care of himself.All I kept thinking about was having to poke my poor baby with needles every day and having to give him insulin, and how much more difficult his precious little life was going to be if he had diabetes. I really almost started crying.Once we finally got him into bed I mentioned it to husband, and he thinks he's just trying to stall before bed, and then he says "Don't say the D word!". Ugh. Lets go over the symptoms boys & girls :

From http://www.jdrf.org

Warning signs of type 1 diabetes (these may occur suddenly):

* Extreme thirst
--> Only at bedtime for approximately 1 week
* Frequent urination
--> No
* Sudden vision changes
--> No
* Sugar in urine
--> I don't think so, he just had a check up and he peed in a cup so I would
assume that's what they were checking
* Fruity, sweet, or wine-like odor on breath
--> No just regular stink breath

* Increased appetite
--> No more than usual the kid always eats
* Sudden weight loss
--> Nope, he's always been a peanut
* Drowsiness, lethargy
--> ahahahahahahhahaha no seriously
* Heavy, labored breathing
--> No
* Stupor, unconsciousness
--> Only after 8:30 pm

So the check list makes me feel a little better, and it's more than likely he's just stalling because he just doesn't want to go to bed. I don't think he pulls this at his grandparent's house, so it may just be some evolutionary toddler defense mechanism to make us parents crazy.
But when its your baby acting a fool, you think of every possible problem that it could be. My friend's 9 year old sister just got diagnosed with juvenile diabetes, and no one in her family has it. So it is scarey when out of no where your child starts showing signs of something, especially when you've worked in a particular field, and have too much knowledge of what can go wrong.

Gratuitous Bitching

2009-04-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS GRATUITOUS BITCHING ABOUT SH*T YOU PROBABLY DON'T CARE ABOUT:

I'd like to know who in the retail universe made the executive decision to shove the maternity "section" in the furthest corner of the store, and by "section" I mean the back wall of the plus sized section hidden by sharp pointy clothing stands that is almost impossible to squeeze your non exisistant waistline through. WTF. Seriously people, it's depressing enough that I have to wear these atrocious polyester nightmares, but is it really necessary to position them in a way that requires me to waddle all the way to the back of the store only to jam my fat a$$ between the sharp pointy clothing racks and the emergency exit? It seems to be a requirement of all department stores to organize the maternity "department" like this, unless the store is actually a maternity wear store, bc 99% of all retail stores I have waddled through to look for clothing only contains a wall, hidden, and almost unattainable. If it's completely necessary to do this, they should atleast offer me a tram, or valet parking, since a lot of the stores don't have mother/infant preferred parking.

While I'm on my "let's bitch about being pregnant" rant, I'm going to address the maternity fashion (or there lack of) issue. Unless your budget allows for $150 designer jeans with matching $80 shirt, you have a choice of the following trends:

Elderly Floridian

Circus Tent

Ugly Baby Doll

If the maternity designers goal was to create the most hideous, unflattering apparel using the cheapest looking material, they have succeeded. I have a hell of a time with the pants bc I'm not only pregnant in my belly, but also my thighs, ba-donk, and arms. Oh yes the puffiness has settled in a way that makes getting dressed a depressing tearful event. Regardless of what size I buy, the elastic slips off my belly, dragging my under roos with it, and causes the crotch part of the pants to sag to the middle of my thighs. Really attractive. I'm doing the "Urkel" dance hourly as not to moon any unsuspecting bystanders.

Ignorance Breeds Ignorance

2009-03-31T07:48:00.000-07:00

I have a delayed blog from when we brought little man to the pediatrician's for his 3 year check up/week long snot fest. The visit itself was pretty uneventful with the exception of this little tid bit:

Apparently while I was down the hall bringing little man to the bathroom, Michael had the pleasure of watching parenting at it's finest. A 16 year old "young lady" had come back out to the waiting room to join her boyfriend and friend (on a school day mind you) to inform them she had just been "busted" on her drug test for weed, percocets, etc, and how the "bitch" was getting on her case for losing 30 pounds in a month. She concluded her expletive fueled rant with "I'll just put it back on with a few beers". This was in the middle of a PEDIATRICIAN'S office. A fight almost broke out when a parent asked her to keep her personal life to her self, the girl did not appreciate the suggestion and told the parent that it was "non of her fucking buisness and they could settle this outside like real women".

When I cracked open the door to inform husband that the DR was ready to see little man, he looked relieved. I caught the very end of the disturbance, and asked where that girls parents where. Husband's reply "Ignorance breeds ignorance".

Shrimp Mozambique

2009-03-30T04:15:00.000-07:00

INGREDIENTS:

1-lb of peeled shrimp
1-stick of butter
4-tbsp.crushed garlic
1/2 -cup white wine
2- pkgs of Sazon goya seasoning
2- tbls chopped parsley
1tbsp -wet crushed red pepper(comes in a jar at the international section)

DIRECTIONS:

Fry garlic in butter,add crushed pepper,wine,Goya,parsley and shrimp.

Let simmer till shrimp turn pink.

serve over white rice

I made this traditional Portuguese dish last night and it turned out fabulous. Not only is it super easy prep, but super easy clean up too, which is great when you don't have a lot of time or energy but want something different for dinner. I made slight alterations to the recipe, I'm not exactly what you'd call a cook, but 4 tablespoons of crushed garlic seemed like an awful lot, and I was afraid to ruin the dish. I ended up putting in 2 tablespoons, which was fine, but after I had some I decided that 4 tablespoons would've been fine after all. I also implemented frozen pre cooked,pre peeled & deviened shrimp, and thawed them and removed the tails. This also worked out well, and once you throw in the shrimp in the sauce, it turns bright orange, so I'm not sure how you were supposed to tell if it was cooked if you had used the uncooked shrimp. The only thing I should've done before hand was cook the white rice, which it turns out I totally forgot about and ended up cooking the shrimp a little longer due to the fact I was waiting for the rice to cook, which can make shrimp a little chewy, but it was still awesome. I wasn't sure how to present the dish since I had never had shrimp mozambique before, assuming it always contained tomato products, which it turns out it didn't. So I just mixed everything in the pan together, which made for a very colorful, spicey and yummy dish. And it is on the spicey side, just to warn you. If you want to turn down the spice factor, I might try using half of the red pepper it calls for. But little man even liked it "I LOVE SPICEY!!!" . Go figure.

Adjectives That Should Never Be Used When Addressing A Pregnant Chick

2009-03-25T23:17:00.000-07:00

I appologize to those who heard my rant earlier, but I felt the need to share to those who haven't had the pleasure. Now I had been self conscious about my "bump" or there lack of compared to other girls at my stage, that is until today. I had brought little man to the children's museum to play, and give husband a much needed break from daddy duty. As I was rounding up Michael Jr to leave a lady says to me :

"Oh you look like you're ready to have that baby now"

Me: "Yeah, but I still have two months left"

Lady: "People use to say that to me all the time I WAS GIGANTIC TOO"

Color drains from my face .... must stop myself from bursting into tears ....

Annnnnnnnnd on that note we left. GIGANTIC?!?!?!?! REALLY??!?!? I mean yes I wasn't in the most flattering of ensambles, my workout clothes and an oversized GAP sweatshirt .... but GIGANTIC?!?! After that I swear I felt every giggle and that much more swollen. FML. I know that the lady didn't mean anything by it, but seriously just because you're a chick who's been pregnant before does not give you carte blanche to go up to any pregnant chick and utter any ignorant sentence that comes to mind. AND THANK GOD I haven't had any strangers try to touch my belly because I will destroy them and possibly get arrested in the process. If you wanna see GIGANTIC this is me at the same stage pregnant with Michael Jr, my brother use to call me "the mothership" I could barely fit into booth's at restaurants:

Happy Spring!

2009-03-23T03:30:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to try and utilize the set of cookie cutters that's been wrapped in celophane for the past year, and make spring cut out cookies. Unfortunately for me, the sugar cookie dough did not want to cooperate for some reason and I was unsuccessful in making any flower or spring themed cookies. I did however manage to keep little man some what occupied while husband was out grocery shopping. We also made the "frosting" from scratch and added neon food coloring and sprinkles. After I was done fighting with the dough, gave up, and made regular sugar cookies, I let Michael Jr go wild with decorating.

Bump Envy

2009-03-21T22:20:00.000-07:00

So today was the grand tour of the maternity ward at Jordan Hospital in Plymouth. Husband was working his 24 hour shift on the ambulance, so my mom, little man and I went. We arrived for the 10:00 tour and I was the first there, it was 9:50 so I figured I'd be it, or it'd be a really small group. I was wrong. In the following 10 minutes, in waddled (I say that in the nicest of terms, since I find that the pregnant penguin shuffle is far more comfortable then actually "walking") approximately six other mommies, daddies, grandparents and siblings to- be. We were greeted by a super nice head nurse, who briefly explained visiting hours, securtiy measures, etc. Then she went around the room and asked when everyone was due. I was the 2nd closest, and the smallest baby bump. One girl wasn't due until september, and was twice the size of me. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but I was actually really self conscious about my LACK of girth compared to the other mommies. Anyways, the group all followed the head nurse into the locked maternity ward, and were given the grand tour of the floor. I believe that there are 11 patient rooms, and they are currently working on expanding the nursery . There's also a water birth suite and the c section operating room on the same floor.
Of course little man was being a typical 3 year old boy, wanting to touch EVERYTHING, push every button, climb on the sterile beds, and managed to turn one of the tv's on during the tour ..... but the nurse was really nice and let him "lead" the tour down the hall. Michael Jr was predictably uninterested in the babies, but it was nice to have him and my mom along on the tour to see where little miss Mya will be born. I finally broke down and signed up last minute for a birthing class that starts on Monday and will run for 6 weeks from 7pm - 9pm. I had hesistated because I never signed up for them when I was pregnant with Michael, and didn't want to feel like a dork doing all the breathing excersizes in front of strangers. But I'm really trying to do all my homework so I don't have to have another horrible c section. So Michael, myself and our 2 pillows will be sauntering in to Jordan Hospital Monday night for the next 6 weeks with the other dorks to learn our breathing excersizes, how to utilize a yoga ball, and hopefully me keeping my sanity.

This one's for you Carla!

2009-03-17T02:06:00.000-07:00

Damn kids don't appreciate good music anymore ;-p

VS

Friday the 13th, Overtime on St.Patrick's Day and Other Bad Decisions

2009-03-13T01:40:00.001-07:00

It didn't occur to me until I was about to go to sleep this afternoon that not only was today friday the 13th, but I was working it alone with Sgt. Bad Luck Shit Storm . Not only would I be working alone on a traditionally bad luck day, but I was also smart enough to pick up overtime on St. Let's Get Hosed and Pretend We're All Irish - Day, which coincidentally I would also be working alone. Hawaii.

On a unrelated note, I completed the dreaded glucose test this morning. Which I am quite confident that I do not have gestational diabetes. I arrived at the office for my 0830 appointment, and did the usual check in routine. After they put me on the cattle scale, I waddled down the hall to wait for the Dr I've never met before. The girl hands me this inconspicuous looking orange drink that's about as big as 1/2 a coke can, and contains about 50 grams of sugary hell. I already knew it was gonna taste like crap, but to make the expierience even more enjoyable the girl proceeds to watch me drink it. No pressure.

But I did learn that I have one more appointment in 3 weeks, then after that I have appointments every 2 weeks, than at 36 weeks it will be every week. It's kinda going by fast, only 2 months and 3 weeks until little miss Mya is here :-)

Sphincter says "WHAT?!"

2009-03-11T00:05:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else see anything wrong here?! Just a reminder the 5 year old daughter Haleigh has been gone about a month ....

Better Homes & Gardens

2009-03-07T21:48:00.000-08:00

So FINALLY after getting the final touches done on our master suite, here is all my hard decorating work. And by "my" I mean Michael did all the manual labor, and I told him where to hang stuff.

My Baby Is 3 !!

2009-03-04T23:15:00.000-08:00

Conviction: Solving the Moxley Murder

2009-02-25T00:11:00.000-08:00

October 30th , "Mishchief Eve" the night before Halloween, often proved fruitful for teenagers looking for the usual neighborhood vandalism and drug induced activities. However,for the Moxley family in Greenwich, Conneticut, 1975 would prove to be an evening that was sorrowfully, life changing.

Martha Moxley had been neighbor's and friends with the Skakel family, and was in their company on that fateful evening. Martha never returned from their company, and was found the following day beaten to death on her own property with a golf club. The beating was so violent that the gold club had broken in 3 pieces, one of which was used to stab Martha in the neck.

For 25 years case evidence has been either lost or mis handled, largely to gross negligence rather than the often used cover up theory. The police and residents of Greenwich just couldn't fathom the Skakel's being involved in such a violent and horrendous murder, even though the murder weapon was traced back to the skakel's and both Tommy and Michael Skakel had ever changing stories for their wear abouts. How could a Kennedy cousin commit such an act?

Reporter Leonard Levitt set out to prove just that. In 1982 The Stamford Advocate and Greenwich Time newspaper had asked Levitt to look into what was turning out to be, a cold case. Through his research and interviews with neighbors, family members and various police authorities Levitt discovered how the police had mishandeld the entire investigation, and how the Skakels were getting away with murder.

In 2002 Michael Skakel was convicted of Moxley's murder, after 20 years of hard work by Levitt and Police Detective Frank Garr. Both had faced political and peer pressure during their work on this case, often being shut out soley because of the Kennedy connection. This book was a great read , letting the reader look into the disturbed life and mind of Michael Skakel, and how much money and affluence can attempt to buy. Everything except true personal freedom.

His Boys Can Swim!

2009-02-22T00:33:00.000-08:00

While exploring the world of blogging I came across a hillarious, tongue in cheek, blog called: His Boys Can Swim! Which chronicles "Tarzan" & "Jane"'s new adventures in pregnancy & soon to be parenthood(http://www.hisboyscanswim.com). What I love about this blog is that pretty much anything goes, and Jane can let loose her pregnant thoughts & feelings, which is great to relate too, especially knowing I'm not the only one who can be pregger-saur-us rex to her unsuspecting husband :-)

It's also a great site for daddies to be, even if you've already had a child, seeing how each pregnancy as each child, is different. "Tarzan" offers the dad's point of view, and "Jane" offers the mom to be's point of view. It's also a favorite blog of mine because Jane is due around the same time as me, so it's always fun to contrast & compare pregger notes :-)

One of my favorite postings is "It’s a boy! My boys knew this was their last shot. Good job guys." by Tarzan(http://www.hisboyscanswim.com/1354/its-a-boy-my-boys-knew-this-was-their-last-shot-good-job-guys#more-1354). I really almost peed myself when he compared a cousin to the brother of Napoleon Dynamite, because we all have a relative like that.Atleast I do.

And if you're into entering contests and winning free stuff, they just launched "the 1st Official His Boys
Can Swim Pregnancy Blog Contest!
Over $1,594 In Prizes!
31 Prizes, 31 Winners! "

So Check it out!

Epidemic

2009-02-18T04:01:00.000-08:00

Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb...in bloom

Down in a hole and I dont know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
You dont understand who they
Thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now a man
Who wont let himself be

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Id like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied

Down in a hole and theyve put all
The stones in their place
Ive eaten the sun so my tongue
Has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty
Of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more
Of my feelings beneath

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Id like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied

Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers (oh I want to be inside of you)
In a tomb...in bloom
Oh I want to be inside...

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, outta control
Id like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied

~"Down In A Hole"~ Alice In Chains

I learned of yet another classmate lost to addiction the other day. And as I red the obituary in the paper I can remember sitting next to him on the bus in elementary school. I can also remember what I was doing the day he died. As I was spending the day with my son and husband that sunday, Steve's little boy lost his own. The obituary can sugar coat it all it wants to, but heroin took Steve's life. As it did Kara's last year. Alcoholism & drunk driving took my good friend Adam's life June 26,2001, weeks after we sat next to eachother at graduation.

It just makes me incredibly sad and breaks my heart. What the hell happens to people that leads them to make those choices? I've had ample opportunities through high school and college to partake in various substances, and to be honest they scared the shit out of me, and I refused to take them. At what point does sticking a needle in your arm seem like a good fucking idea?!?! And to think that Steve's little boy is going to grow up without a daddy, and to have to live with the fact that his father died because of heroin, and to think of my little boy who is around the same age, I would never ever think of putting myself in the position where he would be without a mommy.

I'm not trying to judge these people, even though it would be easy too. When this happens to people you know, it's not as easy to write them off as a piece of crap low life. Some people are, but not all. I also was reading about one of my favorite bands, Alice In Chains, the lead singer Layne Staley died of an overdose of a speedball (heroin&cocaine) and was not found for over 2 weeks. When the police broke down the door, with his mother behind them, his 6'1" frame only had 82 pounds on it, surrounded by cocaine & crack pipes. The lead singer of one of the most popular bands at the time, had secluded himself to such an extent that it was not unusual for friends not to hear from him for weeks on end, and was often reported to hang out weekly at a local bar, not to drink, but to hang out in the corner and nod off. It's just amazingly sad how drugs can destroy a person like that, and it feels that much more desperate when it hits home. I geuss you never realize how bad things are until its too late.

Portrait Of A Killer

2009-02-17T22:22:00.000-08:00

Synopsis From www.patriciacornwell.com:

"In Portrait of a Killer: Jack the Ripper, Case Closed, Cornwell combines the rigorous discipline of twenty-first century police investigation with forensic techniques undreamed of during the late Victorian era to solve one of the most infamous and difficult serial murder cases in history. Drawing on unparalleled access to original Ripper evidence, documents, and records, as well as archival, academic, and law-enforcement resources, FBI profilers, and top forensic scientists, Cornwell reveals that Jack the Ripper was none other than a respected painter of his day, an artist now collected by some of the world’s finest museums: Walter Richard Sickert.

It has been said of Cornwell that no one depicts the human capability for evil better than she. Adding layer after layer of circumstantial evidence to the physical evidence discovered by modern forensic science and expert minds, Cornwell shows that Sickert, who died peacefully in his bed in 1942, at the age of 81, was not only one of Great Britain’s greatest painters but also a serial killer, a damaged diabolical man driven by megalomania and hate. She exposes Sickert as the author of the infamous Ripper letters that were written to the Metropolitan Police and the press. Her detailed analysis of his paintings shows that his art continually depicted his horrific mutilation of his victims, and her examination of this man’s birth defects, the consequent genital surgical interventions, and their effects on his upbringing present a casebook example of how a psychopathic killer is created.

With her knowledge of criminal investigation and her consummate skills as a bestselling writer, Patricia Cornwell has produced a book that is as compelling as it is authentic and pays due respect to the people whose early deaths spawned one of the twentieth century's least attractive entertainment industries. Portrait of a Killer is also a subtle tribute to the men and women who conduct modern forensic investigations and the technology they use. “When it’s all said and done,” says Cornwell, “the point of all this is to take what we know and apply it to the living.” (from Q&A) "

Normally I would write the review, but I found the synopsis to be pretty accurate. The only thing I did not care for in the book, which might not necessarily be a bad thing, I just found it to be confusing, was how much detail was put into the background of the book. Cornwell was extremely thourough, and the detail just shows that she really did her homework, but some of the detail I found to be in excess, and was kind of confusing where I had to go back and re read some paragraphs to try and understand what exactly was going on. But overall was a very well researched and written book.

The Baby Thief

2009-02-03T03:27:00.000-08:00

In what has been long regarded as an act of goodness, one of bringing families together, american adoption has the roots of greed, lies and anguish. Georgia Tann of Memphis, Tennessee has long been regarded as the founder of the modern day adoption process. Before Tann's dominance in the Tennessee social work system, adoption was virtually unheard of, and certainly not something a family would admit to have participated in. In Barbara Bisantz Raymond's book "The Baby Thief: The Untold Story of Georgia Tann, the Baby Seller Who Corrupted Adoption", Raymond exposes the dark beginning's of adoption at the hands of Georgia Tann and the corrupt "legal" system of Tennessee that supported Tann during her more than twenty five year reign as the number one baby thief in the country.

(Photo from babythief.com of Billy Hale & his Mother Mollie, one of Tann's victims)

Seeing unwed single mothers as "cows" who were nothing more than breeding machienes to produce a money making product, children. Finding these women through spies she employed in hospitals,maternity homes or free lance "runners" who would go through out the area to find these women. Tann would often have her employees lie to the mothers saying that the babies were stillborn, have the women sign away the babies while still under anesthesia (anesthesia was routinely used during child birth at the time), or resort to the actual theft of children.

Tann had no emotional attachment to her work, or those involved, using the children that were stolen as commodities, often giving babies to judges, doctors, lawyers, etc as a way to blackmail them if they tried to dispute her intentions. Tann grossed over a million dollars during the depression, charging ludacris amounts for her services to her clients, and through blackmail, ensured that she would not face prosicution. During Tann's operation, Tennessee had the highest infant mortality rate than any other state in the country. Tann ignored legislation that was supposed to ensure that infants were not prematurely removed from the birth mother, and even took in premature infants that did not weigh the five pounds that was necessary for hospital discharge. Although Tann only admitted to four infant deaths, there are believed to be as many as five thousand that have died through abuse and neglect, buried either in the back yard of the children's "home" or in unmarked graves near by.

Contrary to today's adoption legislation, there was no regulation of whom was allowed to adopt these children, often placed into homes that were just as abusive as the Tann orphanage. Children were often adopted out to pedophiles,treated as slaves, forced to work as farm hands or maids, even though there were more fourtunate ones who did receive loving homes, it was hit or miss. One of the more publicized results of a Tann adoption can we seen in the movie "Mommy Dearest", as Joan Crawford was a reported client. It would not be until fifty years after Georgia Tann's death in September of 1950, that legislation would be put into action to unseal the birth records of her victims, and give rights to future adoptee's to know their roots.

(Picture from babythief.com, Georgia Tann home, the center of her buisness)

Raymond does an excellent job of uncovering a controversy in America's adoption system, that without her research, may not have allowed for the current legislation giving rights to adopted children. Giving vivid description to Tann's baby snatching techniques, can strike a very real fear into any parents heart. It was truly appauling how the "legal" system allowed such a blatent abuse of humanity, to operate.

True Notebooks

2009-01-31T23:57:00.001-08:00

In an attempt to make the graveyard shift less painful I've taken to reading, my favorite subject being true crime stories, ironic I know.I believe the last book I picked up was "Angela's Ashes" by Frank McCourt a few months ago, but I'm not sure if that even counts because I read that back in high school, and prior to my second reading of "Angela's Ashes" was the first installment of the "Harry Potter" series, that being said I was only able to make it through the first book as I don't have a large attention span for fantasy.

The first installment of my new "hobby" is a memoir by author Mark Salzman titled "True Notebooks". Salzman was a free lance writer whom had been previously nominated for a pulitzer prize, and through a friend was introduced to the world of juvenile hall. This juvenile detention facility was located in Los Angeles, the world capitol of juvenile gangs & violence. As a naive outsider, Salzman was predictibly intimidated and unprepared for what he was about to encounter. Invited to "shadow" in his friend's free writing program at the facility, his initial goal was to be able to finish his own novel, but Salzman ended up participating in his own free writing class in that same facility.

Written entirely on the authors memory, this memoir gives the reader insight to the mind of what many consider, a "throw away" member of society. The writing samples included are actual samples written by inmates, and are surpisingly well constructed and thought out. The memoir is a good example of the inner struggle the author was expieriencing, having to seperate the boys he "knew" from the crimes they've committed.

This book also raises the question, are these juveniles led to a life of crime and gangs because of "nature vs nurture" or are they genuinely just born "bad". I believe its a combination, most of the time, of the nature vs nature, even though I think it's rare, for someone to actually be inately "bad" from birth, but it could happen. The writing of the inmates reveals a life devoid of a father figure, or if he's present he's abusive or in one case the boy's parent's were killed in a car accident. Also being in the hub of gang land, these juveniles describe having to walk through gang territory in order to get home from school, these kids were involuntarily immeresed into gang activity. If a juvenile has no one to call "family" of their own, they're going to find the next closest thing, a gang. I'm not excusing the deeds of these young criminals, but just explaining the nature of the beast.

There are parts in the memoir where these young criminals come to realize the wrong in their actions, and show remorse for their crimes. In one instance a teenager got on his knees in front of the whole unit, to beg forgiveness to his victims brother (whom was also incarcerated). To "watch" the transformation in these boys is very rewarding to the reader, and I found this book to be a facinating look into the heart of America's delinquient youth.

My Blood Boils!!!

2009-01-22T00:28:00.000-08:00

Excerpt from CNN.com:

"New evidence in the case of slain Florida toddler Caylee Anthony shows that her body was placed in a laundry-hamper bag and then secured in a plastic garbage bag before it was left behind in the woods.

Documents the state attorney's office in Orlando released Wednesday also show the girl's mouth was covered with silver duct tape that had been adorned with a heart-shaped sticker. Duct tape also was attached to her head.

A utility worker found the 3-year-old's body last December in woods near where she lived with her mother and grandparents. Her mother, 22-year-old Casey Anthony, has been charged with killing her.

The toddler was reported missing to authorities in July, almost a month after she was last seen. Her third birthday passed while she was missing."

I really can't stand it. It makes my blood boil. Unfourtuneatly from the very beginning this story first broke last summer, I along with most people, had a gut feeling that this poor little girl was killed by her mother. Even if you completely disregard the facts of Casey Anthony's "parenting skills", she waited a month before reporting to the authorities that her 2 1/2 year old was missing. I panic after my kid is quiet after 5 minutes! What kind of person drugs their child so they can go clubbing? Or researches "neck breaking" or "chloroform".

In my opinion, Casey Anthony had plenty of motive to kill her innocent child. First of all Caylee was an unplanned and reportedly unwanted pregnancy, that Casey was "forced" to continue with. Second of all she had no job, and seemingly no direction in life and leached off her parents. Caylee would have added to the already existing emotional and economic stress placed within the Anthony home. From all the reports it sounds like little Caylee was just "in the way" of Casey living the life that she wanted.

It makes me sick to think about what poor Caylee went through. It's reported that the body was double bagged, first in a laundry bag, then a black garbage bag. With the body was a winnie the pooh blanket and some kind of horse toy. And the sickest part was that on top of the duct tape that covered the baby's mouth was the reminence of a heart shaped sticker. WHO DOES THAT!! Not a random killer, a random killer would finish the act and dispose of the body without taking care of personal details like that. That is something that someone who would not only be close to the victim, but have access to those materials would do. Traditionally when victims are killed by people close to them, particularly family members, it is not unusual for the killer to almost "take care" of the victim (i.e. clean up the body, add personal affects, etc).

The thing that bothers me the most, why would she tape Caylee's mouth if she were already dead? A dead body doesn't cry or scream. Fucking think about it. That child suffered. I hope Casey gets the fucking chair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adolf Hitler Gets Taken By The State

2009-01-14T22:21:00.000-08:00

Boy Named Hitler, His Sisters Taken From Family By State
Last Edited: Wednesday, 14 Jan 2009, 4:56 PM EST
Created: Wednesday, 14 Jan 2009, 11:27 AM EST
Adolf Hitler Campbell (MyFoxPhilly)
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Child Named Hitler Has Problem Getting Birthday Cake
MyFoxPhilly and wire reports

HOLLAND TOWNSHIP, N.J. --

Three New Jersey siblings whose names have Nazi connotations have been placed in state custody, police said.

The children, ranging in age from 3 to under 1, were removed from their home Friday. They drew attention last month when a supermarket bakery refused to put the name of the oldest (video: MyFoxNY) — Adolf Hitler Campbell — on a birthday cake.

Video: Hitler Baby Parents Speak | Slideshow: Meet Adolf's Family | More from MyFoxPhilly

State workers didn't tell police why the children were taken, police Sgt. John Harris said.

A spokeswoman for the state Division of Youth and Family Services, Kate Bernyk, said she would not comment on any specific case, but she said the state would not remove children from a home simply because of their names.

A family court hearing is scheduled for Thursday. Court officials said the matter is sealed and they could not release information about what might be decided at the hearing.

The other two children, both girls, are JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell.

The father, Heath Campbell, had no comment when contacted by The Express-Times of Easton, Pa. The Associated Press could not locate a working telephone number for the family Wednesday.
The story was first reported by the Easton-Express Times of Easton, Pa.

The Land Of Ikea

2009-01-13T21:28:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I ventured over to Stoughton to the land of swedish home furnishings, otherwise known as Ikea. I had been curious, but not entirely motivated to make the 45 minute drive because the catalogue they put out makes their products look like something you would have made in shop back in junior high. But in my quest to have an actual grown up looking bedroom I decided to take the trip.

Upon arriving to Ikea it resembles a small logan airport, not just in sheer size, but the thing has it's own highway signs, rotary and alphabatized parking garage. You arrive in the parking garage and head to the entrance and find the coolest thing I've ever seen .... an escaltor for your carriage. I'm sure they're in exisatance in other stores, but I've never seen a flat escalator before so I was easily amused.

I can't remember exactly but I believe there's 3 floors of shopping expieience awaiting you once you're done (and by you I mean ME) standing in awe of the flat escalator. They have a pamphlet with a map of the whole store, which also reminds me of logan airport for some reason, maybe it's because the different sections of the store resemeble loading gates on the map. I dunno. Anyways I was pleasantly surprised at all the Ikea furnishings, much better than what the catologue has to offer. Ikea is so much more than dorm style furniture, they have adorable kids bedroom sets, toys, art, and even swedish food. There's a cafe on the (I think) 2nd floor with the kids bedroom sets (I even saw a sign that said 99 cents for kids meal!) and on the way out theres another swedish food cafe and a mini swedish grocery section. Possibly the coolest thing I've seen to date. This place is huge, I found myself secretly wanting a tram :) Well if you've got a day with nothing to do I would check it out, even if you don't need swedish furniture, that place is boss.

Snagged From Stuff White People Like

2009-01-08T23:26:00.000-08:00

Because I get through the midnight shift in 1/2 hour incriments, and found this to be incredibily hillarious:

"Regardless of how much a white person cooks or how long they have lived in their current home, they all have a tube of sea salt in their pantry. In fact, it’s one of the few foodstuffs that white people will actually bring with them when they move. This is because sea salt is expensive and while white people have money, they didn’t get that way by throwing away $7 packages of salt.

When white people think about regular salt, all they can think about sodium and poor health. When they think about Sea Salt they think about France. So it’s no surprise that it has become so popular.

But Sea Salt is like Trader Joes, Banksy, or The Shins-entry level to their respective field. Therefore, it is important that you learn about other more expensive salts so that you can complain about not having them. To a white person, this shows that you know and love expensive things but feel sad that you can’t yet afford them.

From here you can fill up an entire evening by making the same complaints about art, real estate or Europe."

Better Late Then Never .... Snow Storm Pictures

2008-12-23T08:30:00.000-08:00

Some Pictures from the big storm this past weekend ....
From the Lobby around 3:30 PM and then the after math

Baking, Baking & More Baking

2008-12-23T07:56:00.000-08:00

After it dawned on me that it was less than a week till christmas, I spent the better part of 6 hours baking up holiday goodies on sunday. I made homemade old fashioned chocolate fudge, snickers cookies with homemade chocolate glaze, and chocolate chip cookies. The fudge was ridiculously easy, no double boiler needed. I found it on line, apparently the recipe that use to be on the back of the fluff jar before they replaced it with it's mediocre predocessor. The snickers cookies were not difficult, just a tad mroe time consuming. It's pretty much like making peanut butter cookies, then you flatten out the dough and stick a mini snickers bar in the center. Then you roll the dough around the snickers bars, but its so greasy that it tends to slip off the bar, but I figured it out. Once you bake the cookies, you let them cool and drizzle (or smother) the cookies in the home made chocolate glaze, which basically consisted of unsweetened chocolate powder, confectioners sugar and milk. So I'll be back to baking this evening for the family get together on christmas eve.

Tis' The Season

2008-12-18T10:17:00.000-08:00

My Trip To The ER

2008-11-21T04:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I left work to go to the ER because I had discovered upon my bathroom break that I was bleeding brown blood, it actually reminded me exactly of when I use to get my period with the flow & color. Being that I am 11 1/2 weeks this is not a good thing. So I spent the better part of 6 hours in the ER, I got an ultrasound which showed a healthy normal fetus that actually appeared quite annoyed at the prospect of an ultrasound bc it kept rolling over to show us its back, and a Rho-gam shot because I am A - Blood type. My ultrasound showed that I was not dilated and did not have any extra fluid. I was discharged with a "threatened miscarriage".

My OB said it sounded like I had broken a blood vessel in my cervix and it was now just draining, hence the brown or "old" blood. But I don't recall anything that would have done that, you would think bursting a blood vessel in your cervix would hurt and I would notice if some thing like that happened? In any event there was no blood in my pad this morning which is good, the whole thing just scared the crap out of me.

Nothing like this had ever happened in my 1st pregnancy, and I had always assumed any bleeding in pregnancy only meant 1 of 2 things, a miscarriage or problem with the placenta. So I am home today resting, a little crampy, but other than that things are looking much better.

Side Note: Started bleeding agin, still old blood, but I talked to the Dr and as long as it isn't red blood everything should be fine and eventually stop.

The Kotex Twins Take On NYC

2008-11-09T06:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my first trip to NYC, and I have to say I was impressed. Not just at the scenery, but I fully expected the New Yorkers to be rude, you know your stereo typical "New Yorker". But I was pleasently surprised, apparently us Bostonians are the rude ones :) But Yankees fans still suck :) Any ways, we arrived in New York around 10:45 am after a 4 hour bus ride from New Bedford, and we were dropped off infront of Saint Patricks Cathedral. The weather forcast was not too promising for the day, but it hadn't rained .... yet.

Our first stop was the NBA store which was really cool. As with the theme of most major department stores in NYC it was 3 floors of every piece of merchandise that you can imagine, and even some things you didn't even know they made. I stood next to the wall where they have 3 Basketball stars lined up, and apparently I would never make it in the NBA.

We moved on to the lindt chocolate store which was small yet still amazing, atleast the fetus thought so. Then the rain started to make it's appearance for the day. And by appearance I mean grand entrance. We had passed quite a few street vendors "selling" umbrellas but I was far too lazy to carry an umbrella in and out of stores.

We made our way into the FAO Schwarz store, which was cool, but super packed, I'm geussing partly due to the rain. I'm partial to the one in Boston that is no longer around, but this store was still awesome. Theres a new muppet factory tupe thing where you can make your own Jim Hensen muppet. These muppets are the one's that you'd see in the back ground of his movies, the "extras" if you will. The price is a little over $100 and up.

After FAO we visited "The Donald", well not really the Donald himself, but the trump towers. I was in love with the waterfall that was inside next to the restaurant. I was expecting it to be more like the Prudential in Boston where there are more retail store,etc, but the only "retail" I saw there was a starbucks, his restaurant and a closed down "Nike Town". By the time we left the Trump Towers it really started to pour and it was lunch time, so we made our way to a deli down the street from The Radio City Music Hall. We had some really great sandwichs, which were still cheaper than eating at the Mashpee Commons, and watched the rest of the fools struggle with their umbrellas & heels in the down pour.

We moved onto Rockafeller Center and I got to see the skating rink that I've only seen in movies. I also managed to find a hole in the wall store owned by the FDNY which was awesome so I got to pick up a few christmas gifts there. We made our rounds to the usual spots, the NBC store, then down to the Time Square/Broadway area. By the time we made it down to Broadway however the rain got the best of us and my cotton blend scarf was no longer shielding the rain , and I was about to have my "face" washed off, and that just can't happen when you're in NYC :-) So we stopped in one of the many "I Love New York" hole in the wall places, and picked up ponchos. And I automatically grabbed the pink one because it's my faveroite color, and my sister in law grabbed a matching one. Well little did we realize that the combination of the material and the color of the poncho made us look like two giant Kotex Maxi Pads. Super, atleast we weren't gonna get soaked anymore, or have my make up get washed away.

One of our last stops was the Toys R US on Broadway. That place was a trip, packed, but awesome. Theres a ferris wheel inside and the cars are themed like different kids toys, like there was a "My Little Ponies" (my personal fav), Scooby Doo, and a pedal car. I totally would've gone on if the line wasn't so long. Our last stop was St.Patricks Cathedral, which was beautiful beyond words. I'm not of the "Catholic Persuasian", but I was in awe of everything. I even lit a candle and said a prayer to St.jude, even if I am a protestant heathan that prayer sure came in handy on the way home.....

Our bus ride was a whole different store. I probably would have been better off taking that $5 bus that goes from china town to china town and your "seat" is a milk crate next to a goat. I'm pretty sure our bus driver took the tip we gave him and had a "liquid lunch", because he kept racing the other bus driver and he was what I call "driving by braille" or using the grooved pavement as his guide. I'm also fairly certain that I need to make an appointment with a chiropractor because of the ride, there were noises coming from the bus that I was not familiar nor comfortable with. Good news though, it 's supposedly going into the shop today, probably to install the shocks that it didn't have ..... But over all, regardless of the incliment weather, or riding on the flying dutchman, I had a great first trip to NYC, but it's true what they say, "theres no place like home".

Baby Bobble Head

2008-10-29T05:18:00.001-07:00

In case there was any doubt after 6 pregnancy tests, and 2 missed periods, I had my first ultrasound last night at Jordan Hospital in Plymouth. I got to see my baby bobble head for the first time & it's little heart beat <3 I have to wait 3 days to call my doctor so they can look at the images and take measurements (of what I'm not sure) and give me a more accurate due date. Hopefully I'm no less than 9 weeks, I'd like to get this 1st trimester over with as soon as possible, because dry heaving in the driveway before work every morning is getting real old.

The simple things

2008-10-27T10:06:00.000-07:00

It's the simple things in life that make me happy. I was out with my friend Vanessa yesterday, its always good to get back together with old friends to do absolutely nothing. We've been friends since we were 3 yrs old, and it's nice to be able to enjoy each other's company and not feel like you always have to "do" something. Anyways we hung around Coffee Obsession in Falmouth a.k.a. "Coffee O" and watched the remaining participants of the marathon leave (I was quite jealous of their metallic Dunkin Donuts blankets ...)and then we wondered off to our old hang out spots, otherwise known as Spinakers & the "Wall" near the library. We ended up in the nostalgia store (I don't know it's actual name)next to Liam Maguires. I found this apron, and it automatically ended up on my christmas list, thats right I want an apron for christmas, should look darling over the baby bump ....

And on a completely unrelated side note, I've been wanting lobster so bad but my Lobster missions have always been cut short ... The past 3 mondays stop & shop had them on sale, my mom goes to get them this morning and they're not on sale .... damnit. I called cooks today to get a lobster roll, they're closed for the season, the website is wrong they are not open till november ..... damnit again.

Mashpee Fire Fighters 5k Race a.k.a 1 hour later ....

2008-10-25T12:40:00.001-07:00

Follow The Yellowe Brick Road ....

2008-10-07T08:58:00.000-07:00

Cape Cod Central Railroad Wizard of Oz Halloween Train
October 25
Cape Cod Central Railroad, 252 Main Street, Hyannis. 11:30a.m.
508-771-3800
Website: www.capetrain.com

Description:

The Cape Cod Central Railroad will be offering a Wizard of Oz themed Halloween train on Saturday, October 25.

Two departures will take place; 11:30 and 2:30, each for a one-hour ride.

Costumed characters greet our guests upon arrival, and they ‘follow the yellow brick road’ to the train platform. Children will meet Dorothy, The Cowardly Lion, Tinman, and Scarecrow……and, of course the Wicked Witch and The Wizard!

Adults: $20.00; Children (under 12) $14.00 but children in costume ride half-price. Prizes will be awarded for Best Costumes, funniest, scariest, etc. Tricks, treats, face painting and more happen during the one hour ride.

Guests can call for more information: 508-771-3800, or view our complete 2008 schedule shortly at www.capetrain.com.

Not All Bisquick Is Created Equal

2008-10-05T08:27:00.001-07:00

I was always kinda biased towards bisquick, figuring it all tasted like sand at best, but I've actually come to appreciate it, observe the Blueberry & Lemon Coffee Cake, so easy a portagee can make it :)

"This Is Halloween ... This Is Halloween"

2008-10-04T17:58:00.000-07:00

Today was my first official saturday off, ever, in life. It was surprisingly productive as well, which was a bonus. Today, as most saturdays are going to be, was a "Mommy & Me" day. I have little man by myself as Michael's on a 24 hour shift on the ambulance. We went to the Silver City Galleria to find him a costume that was 1)cute 2)he would tolerate and 3)didn't cost more than a tank of gas. We succeeded, we found a "101 Dalmations" costume that didn't have ant obnoxious hand or feet covers that he would rip off, and it was only $20.00. Than, along with my Sister in law we went to "Bertucci's" restaurant with little man. He was good, for him, meaning he got off his chair only 4 times, and sat back down with out having a screaming fit and had a couple of bites of his food.

After our excersion at the mall we followed rt 140 all the way to the end and went to the Buttonwood Park Zoo for a while. Everything's all set up for "Boo At The Zoo", and they had 3 tractors out that the kids could sit on as well as tables with local produce and a blacksmith demonstration. I have to say I enjoy Halloween far more than Christmas because, while it does have the commercialization, I don't feel the materialistic choke hold that I do come december, and Halloween to me still has the same innocence as it did when I was growing up. I have more fun now that I'm a mom, it allows me to live vicarously through my son and do all the dorky mom things like bake cupe cakes and go on hay rides. I'm pretty pumped for the Halloween Carnival coming up at the Heritage Museums, which we signed up for already. I'm trying to decide wether or not I'm going to dress up, I wanted to go as something that matched my son's costume, but I really don't wanna be the ass in a adult dog costume walking around the carnival.

I made like a good house frow after dinner, and 2 loads of laundry :) and made pumpkin cupcakes with vanilla frosting all decorated for Halloween.

Officially .....

2008-09-28T07:11:00.000-07:00

Our Day Out With Thomas The Tank

2008-08-30T06:46:00.001-07:00

Lizzie Borden Took An Axe .....

2008-07-28T11:10:00.001-07:00

Ani DiFranco

2008-07-16T15:06:00.001-07:00

ANI & KIMYA!

2008-07-16T14:39:00.001-07:00

So after a few weeks of severly slacking in the blogging department, here's a post of my adventure at the Ani Difranco performance at the melody tent.

Kimya Dawson was super cute, you can find her occupying 75% of the Juno soundtrack. Ani was AMAZING!!!! The cd;s honestly do not do her any justice. She has an amazing voice, and her connection to the crowd is unmatched by any other performer that I've seen.

Speaking of which, lets discuss the creeps. Ani DiFranco Concert = dike fest, that being said, the straight dudes whom were there on their own accord, and not dragged by their girlfriends are CREEPS! I'm talking about the muscle head steroid freaks that were MAN DANCING to Ani! Like legitamately "dancing" to Ani, I thought it looked like they were either having a full on grande mal seizure or trying to pick something up. Or how about the dudes that were sitting behind us yelling "ANI WE LOVE YOU!! WILL YOU WEAR MY HAT?" ...... UM WHAT ..... Yeah those same freaks were also talking so loud analyzing every song that it was interfearing with my Ani enjoyment. These are the same 40 year old dudes that play dungeons & dragons in their mom's basement. Then there's the obscenely drunk women dancing in the aisles practically dry humping unsuspecting strangers.... I feel like I should have paid extra for the side show. The one thing about the Melody Tent though, is that it gets awful stuffy and warm with other people's stink ..... and theres no breeze .... But it was pretty awesome, we were the 4th row from the stage and had aisle seats *score*

Top 5 Ani DiFranco Songs (For Me)
1. 32 Flavors
2.Gravel
3.As Is
4. Untouchable Face
5.Little Plastic Castles

Summer Mishchief

2008-07-05T13:30:00.000-07:00

Emeril Style

2008-06-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

Today I experimented with a smoker box, flavor chips and a grill wok. And not to toot my own horn but *toot**toot* ! I used perdue boneless & skinless chicken breasts and poured on the Jamaican Jerk seasoning and also applied the seasoning to the veggies. I used zucchini and yellow squash as well as green beans in the wok :) Stay tuned for tuesday as I attempt shrimp ca bobs.

Door Mat

2008-06-15T19:03:00.000-07:00

I just created a playlist for my profiles, and one of the songs "Porcelain" by Better Than Ezra sucked me back down to memory lane ala high school drama style. For some reason it brings me back to the circle of friends, whom most I'm still in contact with. One in particular, Mike, I found to wondering about lately. My BF Vanessa told me that his mom had recently passed away from Lupus. That's really the most horrible thing to me, losing a parent, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

That being said, Mike screwed us over in high school, big time. He was like a fre-enemy, other wise known as someone who poses as your best friend, but is really your enemy. He started hanging out with our circle through his cousin Rob, whom was one of my BF growing up, and whom I rarely get to see, but we're still close.

Mike took it upon himself to screw with my super close BFF Nikki, get with me, and two of our other friends, all while lying to our faces about the whole situtation. He started dating Vanessa our sophmore year, and that's when the shit hit the fan. Vanessa and I had been BFF since we were 3 years old, we had some rough patched, but our bond hadn't been broken till then.

He started to play Vanessa & I against eachother, like it was a game. Then day Vanessa cut me off my world had shattered, she was like a sister to me , and I had never felt pain like that in my life. Mean while Mike would converse with me, console and claim that he was going to try and talk to Vanessa for me, mean while start encouraging her to spread that I was a whore, even though I had a high school sweetheart (and by sweet heart I mean an abusive piece of shit, but I digress)...

He converged with 3 other people to egg my house on halloween, and I would have never found out except one of the people involved ended up telling me in English class 3 months later because he felt bad.

I hear that he's a coke head and leading a shitty life in Framingham, people that I still talk to in that circle of friends don't really talk to him or about him, but for some reason I actually wondered what ever happened to him. Maybe it's because I have this urge to confront him and ask him exactly what the fuck his malfunction was, or if that's all trivial bull shit.

Are we basically the same people in high school, except with a bigger bullshit filter. Or do people actually have the ability to evolve into decent human beings from the knuckle dragging bullshit artists we were in highschool? I like to think that I'm basically the same person as I was in the Lilith Fair T Shirt wearing days, except minus some emotional roller coaster esq behavior (birth control + me = raving lunatic).

I have a feeling I may be running into him this summer, I haven't seen or heard from him since we graduated high school, and I'm not sure what'll go down, but I'm afraid of opening myself up to the doormat I was in high school. I've gotta work on that passive aggressiveness .....

Epiphany

2008-06-14T17:53:00.000-07:00

So in my efforts to possibly having another baby I have ceased all perscription meds, including my Adderrall *ohhh shiney things* And after being off of it for 3 days it occurred to me..... I don't think I really needed to be on that shit. And I do mean Shit. I haven't felt this good, since I don't even remember when. I'm actually happy, not a snippy bitch and not dragging ass constantly. I hated the was I was before, always wicked cranky, short tempered, and constantly exhausted. Adderall did nothing for my ADHD once my body got use to the meds. And I was already on 30 mg. My attention span is down the toilet now but I feel so much better now, and feel like I can be a much better person to be around. Plus my job does not require me to have that large of an attention span, actually I'm pretty sure one of the requirements is to have ADD.

Plus, I'm pretty sure being on an amphetamine based drug for a prolonged amount of time is not good for you. The other day I thought I was having a heart attack, I have MVP (mitral valve prolapse), which is a pretty common thing, but I was pretty sure I was gonna die the other day.

It also works out great that I won't have to waste my time or money on co pays & perscriptions on a medication I won't need :) It's pretty amazing to me how Dr's really don't have a clue about what they're doing, but as long as they're collecting their co pay they don't give a crap .....

Between A Rock & A Hard Place

2008-06-11T18:42:00.000-07:00

So Michael and I are in discussions about possibly having another baby sooner than later, and I'm finding myself feeling a touch bipolar with the extreme highs and desperate lows.

My brother and I are almsot 5 years apart, and my parents would've considered a 3rd child except my mother almost died having my brother and had to have a hysterectomy. The age difference I believe affected how strong our bond was growing up. That's a pretty significant age gap in my opinion, because we were never in school together, and by the time he was in the stage where he was big enough to play, I wanted nothing to do with him because I was in 2nd grade and he was still in diapers. We have a great relationship now, but that took 15 years of beating the crap out of each other and plotting against one another.

I always wished I had a sibling to relate to going through school like some of my friends. Michael grew up with 3 siblings all 3 years apart, and all but 1 (the douche) are close with one another.

I wanted to be able to give that to Michael Jr. I can totally understand where Michael is coming from on wanting to have our own space, because obviously that's the optimal situation. But when I got pregnant with MJ we were living at my parents house, and we ended up getting our own place out of necessity , but we made it work. And the whole not having enough money issue, we're never ever going to have enough money, that's just the way life is.

As far as the lack of space issue, our apartment is downstairs, but we have free range on the whole house. My grandfather straight out told us he never wants us to leave, and I know that it would make him so happy to have a newborn in the house, he missed a lot of MJ being small because we lived in the city.

If we did have another baby, by the time we would truly out grow our space we would already be on our way to our own place. In the event *god forbid* something happened to my grandfather, my parents constantly remind us they would never let us be homeless.

At the same time, Michael got a rejection letter from Barnstable Fire Dept, which was my little glimmer of hope of our own place. That's the 2nd Fire Dept rejection, but last time he was just a basic EMT, he had a suit interview & everything. On the other hand, we're both in great jobs that are not exactly expendable, as Jen said, it's not like I work at Papa Gino's and he's mowing lawns every 3rd weekend.

I'd also have to find a OBGYN and hospital willing to do a VBAC, and my Dr doesn't deliver babies, which sucks because he's the man. So I'm going to stew on the subject, and decide if I'm going to make a trip to Abisla's or not .... We'll see

The Rise & Fall Of My Vegan Adventures

2008-06-09T18:28:00.000-07:00

:*( Sadly I had to cease & desist my vegan adventures, because as vigilant as I was I was unable to maintain a healthy weight and circled the 100 lb mark and the sprial kept going in the downward fashion, so in an effort to not look like Karen Carpenter, I had to start eating normally again. I'm OCD in that if you're going to do something (i.e. become a vegetarian/vegan) you should do it all the way, and the whole "Octo-Lacto" vegatarian diet still participates in the factory farming business, which was the whole reason I started this venture. However I did gain a whole new perspective on being aware of, and responsible for your dining choices. I feel a little better purchasing local farm products, rather than the mass produced foods. I'm sad that I do still very much believe in the whole anti factory farm issue, and that I cannot fufill my part in not supporting that industry :*(

I am not a runner

2008-05-25T10:26:00.000-07:00

Today I got up bright & early (for me) to pick up the baby from my parents and head down to the "Shining Sea" bike path in Falmouth. I drove around sippewisset for about 10 minutes trying to find the very beginning of the path (because I'm OCD like that) but couldn't find it, so I parked down on Depot ave by the bus station. Today was the most absolute perfect day for walking the bike path. I was attempting to run/jog with the stroller and a squirmy 2 year old, but it wasn't in the cards. I came to the conclusion that I am not a runner anyways, the only time I "run" which is more like an uncoordinated jog, is on the eliptical at the gym to warm up. I don't enjoy running in the least bit, I more of a lifting weights & kicking ass kinda person, but I'm just weird like that. But the baby and I had a great day, it took us about 2 hours to walk from depot ave to nobska rd & back, but that's including stopping at the hot dog stand to get him lunch, and me stopping multiple times to pick up his water cup and apologise to the bikers he almost took out *sighs* I also spotted a really awesome bird that was all black except for orange shoulders, and I know Barry told be the name of it but I can't remember the name of it. I don't think birds even have shoulders to speak of, but that's the best description I could come up with. Well here's the pictures from our walk , I have to go make dinner before I go work the 4 PM shit show, and shit show it will be because I'm working on a weekend by myself on the first official "tourist" weekend on cape cod. Hawaii!!!!

Alice In Vegan Land

2008-05-23T16:06:00.001-07:00

So I made my first official home made vegan dinner, and in Michael's terms "it's not bad .... just don't tell anyone I ate tofu fairy food" .... I even broke out the electric wok with out burning myself. It's a process, and not every day is going to be a perfect vegan day, but I'm working on it :-)